New Training Plan

I'm a planner. I love to write up a plan, to have a timeline, to have detailed steps of how to get to my goal. So basically, writing my own training plans is perfect for me. I'm really detail oriented and I love the process of hashing out how I want to get myself prepared for the starting line. Now that I've graduated from physical therapy and have no limitations on my running, I feel prepared to sit down and plan my comeback!

I'd love to say that I'm going to blow this training out of the water, but let's be real. I'm not in 3:45 marathon shape, nor will I be by December 13. But I honestly think, that even with my struggles getting back into running, I can run a 4:00 marathon. I have 31 weeks until race day and will officially begin my training 22 weeks out, on July 12. Training for a 4:00 marathon sounds so much more doable than a 3:45. The training paces aren't daunting to me, even in my current running shape. 

The next few weeks are all about maintaining what I'm doing, adding in little bits of volume and intensity as I go. I'm running about 5 days a week now, and I've just added in a second quality workout per week, in addition to the intervals I've been running the past few weeks on Tuesdays. I'm getting close to about 30 miles per week, so my base is good right now. I'll continue the 5 days per week with speedwork and either a tempo run or progression run, and a long run every Sunday. I probably will not go beyond 10 or 11 miles in my long run until training officially starts. Just several more weeks of consistent running, increasing volume and extending the duration of intervals. 

I've definitely learned over the years that one of the most important things when tackling a marathon is CONSISTENCY. If I can consistently get in good volume weeks leading up to training, building up my base, then I'll be ready to add in more intensity and higher volume without hurting myself. The discipline I've cultivated over the past few weeks is paying off now, thankfully! I'm determined to get out there on my run days and do my best, even when I'm not feeling up to it. I keep ramming into my head that I have to be consistent if I want to get back to where I was pre-injury.

I'm not going to do the Hansons plan this time around. It's just too intense with too much volume for what my goals are. I'm not going to try to hit a Boston Qualifying time (which means the next time I do try, I'll actually be aging up....that's a nice little bonus for getting old). There's no need for me to run 55-65 mile weeks every single week. I'll be sitting around more like 50 mile weeks towards the end of the training, spending most weeks in the 40-50 mile range. I think that's a good place for me to be in....intense, but not too overwhelming. But I AM going to use the Hansons pace charts and pace adjuster for weather in determining my training paces. And I'm really glad I am, because as I was looking them up it reminded me that marathon training is A LOT of easy miles, and when I'm planning to run a slower marathon than previous cycles, it really means slowing it down. It's a huge relief.

So how does that break down for me for this cycle? A 4:00 marathon is 9:09 pace, so I'm using 9:05 as my marathon pace, giving me a few seconds room to be under 4:00. In good weather (temps in the 50s or colder, which is impossible in a Texas summer), that would mean my recovery runs are over 11:15 pace (yes, REALLY), my easy runs are no faster than 10:30 and ideally more like 10:45, my 5K-10K interval paces are about 8:00-8:20, and tempo paces probably around 8:30. If I want a more moderate long run, I'd run those around 9:50. 

But in a Texas summer when some of the worst mornings are over 75 degrees and high humidity, I'll be adding 30-40 seconds per mile to my easy/recovery runs and about 20-30 seconds per mile to my speed runs. That mean a lot of runs over 11:00 pace. To say that is a huge weight off my shoulders is an understatement! I'll get the same benefit of the faster paces but won't be overtaxing myself in the heat. The adjustments are so important, and they work! Leading up to my last marathon before I hurt myself, I took those adjustments seriously and was feeling pretty great as the weather starting getting cooler. 

In all honesty, I'm probably not running slow enough right now as often as I should. I'm not tackling a huge amount of miles yet, but once I do I need to be more mindful. 

In addition to maintaining consistency, I'll continue to ram it into my head that 80% of my miles are EASY MILES. Not pseudo easy, but truly easy. My Strava won't be flashy, but I'd rather see easy runs than an injured runner because I was running myself into the ground day in and day out. 

I have a second marathon that I'm signed up for 5 weeks after Mississippi Gulf Coast. If all goes well, I might try to run that one balls to the wall. I've got nothing to lose! Then by the time Chicago 2022 rolls around, I should be ready for that Boston Qualifying attempt. The great part? That's during the qualification window for Boston 2024, when I'll be 50 and can run 5 minutes slower to qualify (3:55). 

I'm a planner! And I'm getting excited!

Keep Showing Up

Remember when I said back when I first injured myself and wouldn't be running for months that I would never take running for granted again?

I'm trying so hard to remind myself to never take running for granted again. 

It's just that it's hard and while I usually don't shy away from hard things, I'm feeling pretty sad about the days when it felt somewhat easy.

It's not even so much about my pace (which of course is slower than it used to be at the same effort), but about how I FEEL. My breathing sucks, I feel awkward, there's no "flow." I know the pace changes will happen naturally, and that they probably won't happen until I incorporate speed work, but I just want to remember what it feels like to finish a run invigorated rather than irritated that it didn't feel smooth. I don't have the runner's high I used to have. 

I will admit that in the 50 degree temps and lower humidity of this morning, I felt better than I had in awhile. I wish that included sub-10 minutes with my heart rate in the 120s, but alas, we can't have everything. But overall, considering I ran longer than I have since injury (8 miles!), I felt pretty good when I was done. I ran anywhere from 10:15 to 11:08 miles, so in my old "easy/recovery pace" zone, and my heartrate average was 133, which is better than it's usually been. I do have a few wins to claim from this run, so I'm trying to look at the positive. 

I RAN 8 MILES!! Not long ago it seemed like that distance was a pipe dream and I did it without much difficulty today. 

I think it's time to incorporate speed work once a week. That won't involve anything crazy, just a minute or two at a time at probably a moderate pace rather than anything faster than my old marathon pace. Who knows? I have no idea how speeding up is going to feel, both physically and mentally. I still have a lot of demons to slay with regards to fear while running. Since my injury occurred because I tripped on a tiny thing while running, I'm still pretty terrified of doing that again and pretty much permanently losing shoulder function if I fall on it again. Unreasonable fear, probably, but fear nonetheless. How is this going to translate to trying to run faster? Is it going to hinder me? Remains to be seen. 

My virtual 5K is next weekend but since I have done zero faster running, I have no expectations. I'll just cruise at an effort that is not super easy but not hard and the it will be what it will be. It doesn't matter what that translates to....I have to complete it based on where my fitness is at right now and what is smart in my recovery. Most of all, I have to be thankful that I can run at all. 

I have to destroy these demons in my head that is making it hard for me to love running. I miss my love of running and need it to come back. I need patience and to have faith.

Luckily my first of two marathons I'm registered for is still 35 weeks away, and the second is 40 weeks away. I have a TON of time to build up my endurance and to be comfortable with the distance. Time isn't important. Merely making my endurance comeback is what is important. 

I read a book called "My Name is Hope" by John Mark Comer and in this book, he describes endurance as follows:

Is there a more perfect definition? We can apply this to many different areas of life. I have this message board hung on a wall in an area of the house I walk past several times a day as a reminder of how to approach challenges. Getting back into shape is definitely one of those challenges.

Did I mention that a month ago I stopped drinking until my May vacation? What was I thinking?? That might be harder than the running drama. 

Spring Cleaning

The dark winter is almost over!

This winter was stupid dark so I'm particularly looking forward to a change of seasons. 

When I last wrote a blog post, back in January, I was a few weeks into physical therapy, not running yet, but trying to find some semblance of a routine to keep my sanity. I let go of my 2020 goals, many of which were derailed by my accident in October. I set some new goals that were realistic for 2021.

I am now 20 weeks post-surgery on my complete rotator cuff tear. Hard to believe it's been 20 weeks already. I have completed 23 physical therapy sessions and am in the strength phase of therapy. I have 7 sessions left to go and will continue to go once a week and stretch out the strength phase as long as I can with my therapist. I am only about halfway in my recovery, realistically, and even after 40 weeks will not have my strength back to normal. I started running 6 weeks ago and am no where near back to normal on that front. That will definitely take a long time to get back. My body and mind are simply not the same as they were on October 18, when I was nearing the peak of marathon training.

The hardest part of this journey I never wanted to be on is getting my mind right. I am struggling with coming to terms with my body. It was so strong before this and now I feel like the 47 year old I am and I absolutely hate that feeling. I feel sorry for myself too often. I am angry too often. I am impatient and frustrated. I feel weak both physically and mentally.

I know a lot of people who have had rotator cuff repair, but I don't know anyone who had damage as extensive as mine. It's tough to hear about how they were in physical therapy a week after surgery, when I had to wait 6 weeks, that they were fine after a few months, when I will be looking at feeling "fine" after a year. My recovery is not comparable to others so I have a hard time finding encouragement to follow. It's pretty isolating sometimes. My therapist tells me I'm doing great, and there are some sessions where I'm pleasantly surprised at my progress, but then there are days when I'm frustrated that putting a can on the shoulder-height shelf is a struggle. 

I am trying to remember how hard things were when I first started doing active exercises and how little my arm would move on its own to how I can reach quite far with it now, that I really have made tremendous progress. But then I remember I used to be able to do 100 pushups and I fear I'll never be able to be that strong again. People tell me I'm crazy, that it takes time, but my mind is just too impatient. 

I miss being a marathon runner. Sure, I can go out and run continuously now, versus the run/walk intervals I had to start with in February. But I just now barely hit 6 miles and it was hard. My pace is incredibly slow and my heartrate and effort are nowhere near as low as they used to be at that pace. I have not tried any type of speed, but am thinking of incorporating short speed intervals in 2-3 weeks. I know in my head exactly what I need to do and what the progress should look like, but I hate how hard this is. I absolutely hate it. 

I know my attitude is being affected by other things around me, things that are out of my control, and I can't help but think it's penetrating my brain in negative ways. My youngest child continues to test me daily and I've exhausted my ability to help turn the tide. It's my kid's journey to complete. The tools are there, the support is there, but I can't make anyone do what they should do. Personal responsibility and hard work are they only thing that will help at this point. It's pretty maddening for a parent. And as helpful as some try to be, they do not understand the magnitude of this journey. It's the one that Greg and I are on, and only Greg and I. We are the only two that understand it. We've been living it for so many years now. It's not helping my own fortitude, that's for sure. The atmosphere in our country also continues to be painful to witness, when so much of it is avoidable and stupid. People unnecessarily turning against one another is completely wrong on so many levels, and it never needed to be this way. Add to that the countless lives that have been destroyed in this last year....and it's a recipe for depression, to put it bluntly. 

Of all the things to do to myself, it had to be this injury and surgery? Just stupid!!

BUT.....I am still in charge of my destiny. So while I will feel sorry for myself, I will be pissed at what my body feels like right now, I will be pissed off at others for their lack of grace and intelligence, I am still in charge of the trajectory of my life. 

So what does that look like?

I am RUNNING. It's not much, but I am running. I can now run 3 days in a row and will be doing that this week. I can continue to up my distance slowly. I focus on my effort, my form, my hydration, my breathing in the hopes of finally having a breakthrough. My breathing sucks, my effort is sometimes too high, and I feel like I'm in someone else's body, but as a former coach I know that consistency will produce results eventually. I KEEP SHOWING UP.

I signed up for another marathon yesterday on a total whim. I'm already registered for Mississippi Gulf Coast Marathon on December 12, and now I'm also registered for The Louisiana Marathon on January 16. It's called the Beach to Bayou Challenge and I did it in 2017/2018 (when I qualified for Boston). I have no plans to be that fast yet, but I think having this big of a challenge will keep me motivated to be consistent. Plus I love those races. Then in October of 2022 I want to run Chicago (I deferred 2020), and THAT is when I will try to be fast. 

Next month I'm running the virtual BAA 5K because who doesn't want a Boston shirt and medal? It will be a slow 5K compared to the past but fun nonetheless. I like Boston and I like medals!

I am also traveling for the first time in over a year! My husband and I are going to Florida for our anniversary in May for a long weekend on a beach. I need the time away, to reset and recharge and just enjoy time with only my husband. I had hoped to travel internationally this summer, but with restrictions still so changeable and the need for a negative Covid test to return to the United States has me very wary to leave the country just yet. I'm not afraid of traveling or being around people, but I don't like the thought of being restricted from reentry! So we will wait a bit longer on that. Thankfully, Florida is less restrictive than a lot of states and has beautiful beaches so it's a very nice compromise for now. 

I am ready for the tide to turn on life. I think we ALL are. It's been a ridiculous year of heartache for many. 

Uncertain Plans

 As we get further into August, I am becoming increasingly aware of my flagging motivation to properly train for my next race. It's hard to believe there is still so much uncertainty. Next week is technically the start of my 18-week training cycle for Mississippi Gulf Coast Marathon, which is scheduled to take place on December 13.

Today I received my "In Training" t-shirt for registering within the first week, and I really like it! But it's also a little bittersweet as I look at it. Marathon training is hard, and I was already 5 weeks into training for Chicago before the plug was pulled on that race. I have still been running and am actually maintaining a solid 40+ mile/week average. 

But dammit, it's hard. Summer in Texas means even before sunrise, temps are ALWAYS in the 70s or low 80s. Every single day. Dew points hover over 70 and are sometimes 75+. Day in and day out, even with slowing my pace considerably, it gets tough. The motivation declines. The desire just isn't there some days.

It was so different 3 years ago when I started training for my first BQ. I was so determined and there was no real fear of the race not happening. Life was so much easier back then! Last year I trained to BQ again and didn't have much trouble with motivation. But this year? Just ugh.

Today, my husband was going to sign up to run the half marathon while I ran the full, but he noticed a little caveat in the registration terms that I honestly do not remember seeing, or I scanned over it very quickly and it didn't stand out to me.

Runners bring their own pre-race and during-race hydration/nutrition

Oh, boy.

I always carry a handheld 18 ounce water bottle when I race long distances. I refill at the water stops. I can get through a half marathon, in cooler weather, with just that 18 ounces if necessary. But a full marathon requires way more hydration than that. So am I supposed to run with a camelback? I never do that and the thought of starting a race with 50+ ounces of water in a camelback sloshing around? That doesn't seem too appealing. Or a vest with spots for a couple water bottles? Would that even be enough hydration for 3 hours, 45 minutes of running? Or do I have Greg be my water stop and switch water bottles out at certain spots on the course? 

So Greg didn't register, just in case I need him. Using a spectator as my hydration sherpa is something I obviously don't do since it's not technically allowed under USATF rules, and since I am gunning for a BQ, I'm very cognizant of racing 100% within the rules. But in a race with no on-course hydration support? That provides a bit of a conundrum. In a situation like this, however, it may be reasonable to assume that assistance may actually be allowed.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who is thinking about this.

So, in the meantime, I will start my specified training (with a very easy and lower mileage week next week before the intensity and volume kicks up). I will try to silence the doubt inside my head. It's easier said than done right now. I knew when I registered that the race may not occur, and that was the risk I was willing to take. I can defer my entry if need be, and besides, it's not an expensive race anyway. What I'm really worried about is not developing the focus and fortitude I need to hone in on my time goal. Getting a Boston Qualifying time is at the upper end of my ability, so it's not something that will just come to me without much effort. I need to be ready for my A game on race day. Without the mental strength developed over the course of the training cycle, it become difficult to tune into that mindset. I've done it before and I know I can do it again if I can shake off all the extraneous BS. 

Times are still so damn uncertain. On top of race uncertainty, there have been a lot of other stressors impacting my daily life. I haven't talked too much about them like I have in the past, but the stress is there and front and center and ever-present in my daily life. It wears on you. I'm honestly just not doing well with it. 

Did I mention my son moves out in 13 days? And I paid my first college tuition and college apartment rent for him this week? That was definitely eye-opening and painful!

2020, you are such a pain in the ass.

 

 

The ridiculous journey to Boston

I need to play catch up on the journey to Boston story. For those who don't know the whole, long, ridiculous, exhausting story, here are the previous blog entries that pretty much tell it:

My first attempt at a BQ....not so fast!!

My second, successful attempt at a BQ

My husband's crazy idea

My husband's crazy marathon and BQ

The Boston cut-off

So yeah....in a nutshell:

• I qualified for Boston a mismarked course, so no official BQ for me
• I legitimately qualified again 5 weeks later on a perfectly marked course, with 5:07 to spare
• Husband decides to run his FIRST marathon just so he can qualify and run with me in Boston
• He crushes his first marathon, getting a BQ with 4:43 to spare
• Oh, crap, the cut off was 4:52. He missed actually getting into Boston by 9 seconds. 

And then that same week we got that crap news, I injured my hamstring. It was a shit show of a week.

Thankfully, I'm back up and running, and just crushed a personal best in the half marathon in Houston last weekend (race recap soon!).

So, not only did I get a PR this past week, but it was also my birthday on the 15th and on that same day, the husband got the BEST NEWS EVER.

He would run the Boston Marathon after all. He works for Dell EMC and they get several sponsor bibs in conjunction with raising money for a local Hopkinton charity called the Michael Lisnow Respite Center. You can read about this incredible charity HERE. Not only that, but because he is a Boston Qualifier, he gets to use that time to be seeded in the first waves (likely the second one) rather than being put in the charity runner wave, meaning that I wouldn't have to move back in order to run with him. He could come back to my wave (likely the third) and run with me around others with my same speed.

This is not how I would have wanted to write my Boston Marathon story, but it sure makes for a good story, doesn't it? I think it's pretty spectacular that not only does the husband get to run after all, but he also gets to raise money for a charity that Dell EMC has been in partnership for many many years. I really encourage you to read more about it in the link above.

Also, if you are so inclined, we'd love for you to consider a donation to help support the charity, and us in our quest to spend our 20th anniversary together running the oldest marathon in the world!

Click here to donate to the Michael Lisnow Respite Center

79 more days!!

The Process

I began this blog post last week and then decided to not post it until after I gained acceptance into the Boston Marathon. Well....

I AM IN!!

I got my confirmation of acceptance today and of course, immediately burst into tears. In the lead up to this morning, the Boston Athletic Association was making it really clear that it would be tougher than ever to get into the race.

Here's my post from last week:

*****

It's finally here...registration week!

I have lots of family and friends who are not runners, and I know the Boston Marathon process can seem pretty darn confusing. When I first started running, I had no idea you had to qualify to run it. And then I had no idea they had a charity program. And then they changed up all the rules a few years ago, and it got more confusing.

Qualifying doesn't necessarily get you into the race. You can check "Qualified for Boston" off your bucket list, but to secure a spot at the starting line, it can be tougher than that.

Back in 2012, Boston changed up the rules because the race was selling out so fast and some of the fastest runners out there weren't getting into the race. The qualifying standards got tougher, and they instituted a rolling registration schedule.

Currently the qualifying standards are as follows. They are based on gender and age group, and your qualifying time needed is based on your age on Boston Marathon race day.

MEN

18-34: 3:05
35-39: 3:10
40-44: 3:15
45-49: 3:25
50-54: 3:30
55-59: 3:40
60-64: 3:55
65-69: 4:10
70-74: 4:25
75-79: 4:40
80+: 4:55

WOMEN

18-34: 3:35
35-39: 3:40
40-44: 3:45
45-49: 3:55 <----that's me!
50-54: 4:00
55-59: 4:10
60-64: 4:25
65-69: 4:40
70-74: 4:55
75-59: 5:10
80+: 5:25

The qualifying window is typically 7-19 months prior to race day, mid-September to mid-September. Registration is in the September in the year prior to the race. The qualification window for the race will close when registration closes, so you can qualify right up until the last minute.

The registration process goes on for about 2.5 weeks. It is a rolling admission schedule, starting with the fastest qualifiers in his or her age group.

The first day of registration, in this case September 10, is for those who met their standard by 20 minutes or more. On the third day, September 12, it is opened up for those who met their standard by 10 minutes or more. On the fifth day, September 14, it is opened up for those who met their standard by 5 minutes or more. Each new group gets a chance to register provided the field size has not been met.

The second week of registration, starting on September 17, includes all qualifiers provided they reopen it. They will announce the evening of September 15 if they are reopening registration for all qualifiers. Then registration is typically open for a couple more days, and then they will announce if the field size has now been met and if they will be able to accept all qualifiers up to this point. With the exception of 2013, there have been too many applicants for the available spots and this is where it kind of sucks.

Because there are too many applicants, they have to determine where a cut-off needs to be. It's not first-come, first-serve, but rather based on how far under your qualifying time you were able to run. Last year was the strictest cut off since they began this new process, at 3 minutes, 23 seconds under your respective qualifying standard. So if you ran a 3:31:37 and you needed a 3:35 to qualify, you got in. But if you ran a 3:31:38, you did not. Pretty brutal!

It takes them over a week to determine what this cut off is going to be since it's based on how many register and who registers. I would imagine it's a nerve-wracking wait to find out if you are really getting in or if you'll have to try again next year.

I have a cushion of 5 minutes, 7 seconds, so I get to register on September 14. I will be on pins and needles waiting for the announcement on September 15 on if they will be reopening registrations for all qualifiers. If they do, then I know my cushion was big enough.

Greg has a cushion of 4 minutes, 43 seconds. So he has to wait until September 17 and will be one of those who is on pins and needles. However, I would imagine if they reopen, then that kind of cushion should be enough. You never know for sure until the announcement, but I think he'd be pretty safe.

I had an interesting road to my qualification. My first shot at it, at Mississippi Gulf Coast, ended in disappointment not because I didn't run fast enough, but because the course was mismarked and came up short. I calculated that had it been accurate I probably would've qualified with about a 4:10 cushion, not fast enough to avoid the dreaded wait. But because Boston is not accepting any times for that race, I had to run another qualifying time. I did that in Baton Rouge a few weeks later, and ended up with a bigger cushion that what I would've had in Mississippi. While at the time, the shock of a messed up course was agonizing after all that hard work and a great race, it could end up being a blessing in disguise. I honestly don't think I would've pushed as hard at the Louisiana Marathon knowing I had already qualified with over 4 minutes to spare. Or maybe I would've wanted that 5 minutes. I just don't know for certain. Instead, I HAD TO qualify to actually get the opportunity to apply to run Boston. Wouldn't it be crazy if the cut off is 4:15 or something like that? I'm not sure I would've been fast enough in Mississippi! That truly would've sucked.

So there you have it. The crazy Boston Marathon registration process.

They will also be indicating if there will be any changes to the qualification standards for future races. Will they toughen the standards again? Should they? I'm in the camp that thinks they should toughen the standards starting in 2021, particularly if it's a very large cut off again this year. But maybe it'll be smaller and they won't feel the need to tighten things. It certainly would give me a kick in the pants to push myself even harder in the coming years if I want to continue to qualify.

*****

And now....here we are on Monday, September 17, and they did reopen registration for all qualifiers, but they very clearly stated that they would only take a "small percentage" of Week 2 submissions. The cut off is going to be massive. Greg is sitting on a 4:43 under and he registered this morning. He will need to wait about 9 days to find out if it's enough. I think he'll be just fine and we will REALLY celebrate when he gets that email!

Random Thoughts

In the last week, I've started and deleted a few blog posts. None of them sounded right to me, and frankly, I thought they were boring.

It's been 18 days since the marathon, and I'm definitely finding a dullness in the aftermath. Don't get me wrong, I am still so thrilled with my race and impatient for April 15, 2019, to get here. Heck, for registration to get here in September even.

But there's definitely a lull in the storm right now and I'm feeling a little all over the place.

So maybe that's how this blog post should be. Random and all over the place.

I'm slowly getting back into 30+ mile running weeks, but the comeback is slow. My legs are still pretty spent, although I've had a few good runs. This morning's was not so good as I tried to incorporate some short speed intervals into the run. It was a little too much and my heartrate was too high and it felt like too much of a chore. So back to some really easy miles this weekend and we'll try again for the speed next week. This slow comeback is probably completely to blame for the lull I feel.

I've got a few races on my calendar, two 10k's and a 12-person 200-mile relay. I'd like to have some strong performances so I am focusing my training on those races right now. I'll be keeping long runs and some good volume into my training plan, with some tough speedwork thrown in as soon as my body can handle it. I haven't raced a road 10K since 2012, and much longer than that since I've tried to PR, so it's time to shave a whole heck of a lot of minutes off my really soft 10K PR. I'm hoping for good weather and a 48 minute race. My other 10K is a trail race, so that will be a nice change of pace. The relay will require some long run dedication, and I'm fine with that as it's a great excuse to keep up on my weekend long runs, which I love (for the most part!).

But we all know my mind has been really consumed with thoughts of Boston. My apologies already, because I'm officially obsessed. My thoughts have been a bit crazy at times. It still seems surreal to me.

I'm a decent runner, but I've had a hard time wrapping my mind around the idea of being good enough for the Boston Marathon. It's always seemed like the race for OTHER people, and I was always in awe when my friends would qualify and run it. It wasn't until pretty recently that I started to really think about my chances. Back in 2016 when I realized the qualification window for my new age group opened up the next year (for the 2019 race, when I'd be 45), I couldn't get it out of my head. My husband traveled to Hopkinton for business and bought me a Boston shirt to get me excited about the possibility of chasing this goal. He took photos and the start and finish and it definitely affected him being there. He wanted this for me, too. The seeds had been planted and the journey would begin.

But in reality, I had so far to go. I just wasn't a good marathoner and even a 3:55 seemed insane to me. But it was worth a shot. I knew I needed to whittle my weight down to 125 pounds (while keeping my muscles and strength...not of this skinny crap without substance for me) and really increase my running volume and the quality of my training plan if I had any shot to get that much better. Luckily, I had time on my side (although, in hindsight, it wasn't a lot of time at all).

The thought that I wasn't deserving of joining this elite group of runners was always in the back of my mind - ALWAYS - no matter how confident I appeared to be on the outside. I'm just not one of those folks that's seen a lot of glory. I fall short often (that sure sounds whiny), and I don't really view myself as much of a "winner." To be a Boston Qualifier, you've gotta be damn good.

Waiting until I turned 45 would give me far better chances of succeeding. To go from a 3:45 to a 3:55 qualification time was huge to me. It almost felt like cheating to be able to qualify in the 45-49 age group while I was still 43 years old, but after realizing that tons of other people have this advantage as well made me feel a little better, and this is how Boston has it set up, so who am I to argue?

Something sure clicked in my brain over the summer because I accomplished the things I set out to do - weight loss, higher volume, no injuries, faster paces. It came together for me and I ended up running two really stellar races. I legit earned my place at the start line (you know, provided 5:07 is a good enough buffer).

When the fiasco with the shortened course happened in Mississippi, it very easily could have broken me. I honestly wasn't surprised something like this would happen to me. After all, I wasn't one of those folks that wins. So of course, even though I ran a fantastic race, of course it didn't matter and I wasn't really a qualifier. Frankly, the fact that it didn't break me kind of shocks me. I struggle with many mental issues, so this could've gone pretty badly for me.

But, except for a few really down days, I don't think this was much more than a blip for me in the land of self-pity. I bounced back almost right away. My good attitude seemingly came out of nowhere.

I've been thinking a lot about that attitude, which leads me to the next random thoughts on this post.

GRACE. Y'all know what grace is, but few people truly know how to show it. Our country is in the midst of a complete failure of grace...it seems like nobody has any idea of how to show it and instead people retreat into their own little selfish spheres, and it's truly sad. People are just awful to each other about the smallest things. I had to show a whole heck of a lot of grace to the race directors of Mississippi and Louisiana (my second chance marathon). I could've ripped into them like countless other folks did. But I refused to. They felt bad enough. Grace could help carry me to the start line in Louisiana. There was definitely a higher power at work on my mind in this, however. No way could I have had the kind of attitude I had without some major intervention on God's part. He found a way to speak through me and my misfortune. Not that I want to pat myself on my back, but I am really proud of how I handled that situation.

CONTROL. I had zero control over the disqualification of the Mississippi course. Anything I did or said or whined about wasn't going to change what happened. But there were a million things I could control and I had to push the situation out of my head so I could get back in the game and work on all those things within my control. I was in control of my training, my diet, my sleep, all the things I needed to be on top of to have another great race day. And I could control my attitude. I HAD TO.

I honestly think those two things are what carried me across that second finish line in 3:49:53. Sure, I had to be physically capable, but if I had allowed the Mississippi situation anymore room in my head, it would have derailed the race in Louisiana. Mind games can ruin the most perfect race. Not to say it wasn't a struggle. Forcing the disqualification out, coupled with forcing my doubt out of my head, helped me succeed a second time.

But the DOUBT. Oh my gosh, there was so much doubt no matter how much I knew I was capable of an encore BQ. How could I not doubt it? I had never even come close to a 3:55 before, and here I was trying to do it TWICE in 5 weeks? What kind of crack was I smoking? So yeah, pushing the doubt out was just a wee bit difficult.

Something pretty amazing happened at that start line, though. The stars aligned, my mind was right, the course was spectacular, and my legs and my heart did what was expected of them.

So needless to say, I'm now obsessed with Boston and the fact that I will be running with thirty thousand others from Hopkinton to Boyston Street. Envisioning the race gives me goosebumps. Remember, this race is for the best marathoners out there! A year ago, I was a crappy marathoner! This isn't something that was supposed to happen for little ol' me. But it sure looks like reality now, and reality is pretty sweet, I must say.

Perhaps I'm focusing so much on this small aspect of my life because I feel so OUT of control in other areas. There are plenty of times when I feel like the world's worst parent and my son and I are struggling mightily to get along with each other. My daughter and I are doing okay, and after a really difficult time, she seems to be feeling better about herself. But I honestly don't have much control over where their heads are, as much as I try to support and guide them. Having my running goals is a good way to channel my energy into something healthy that I can control (....or mostly control). It's a big fat positive in the middle of some difficult and negative years on the parenting front. Perhaps this is why I cling so fiercely to my physical health...I can control it almost entirely and it gives me a sense of peace and direction and strength. I now feeling a whole new blog post taking shape in my mind as I write this.

Thanks for listening to my randomness. It always helps to write it out and work through it.

Racing all the races

There have been times when I wanted to race EVERYTHING. At least a race a month, maybe more. The last couple years? Not so much.

Some years it's just better to be particular about what you do. Racing can be hard, and recovery can take awhile, and the last thing I want to do is mess up my body and turn out mediocre race after mediocre race. It's also very expensive. If I wanted a sub-par performance, I can do that in training without the $150 entry fee.

In 2017, I completed 4 5K's (one was legit racing, three were for fun, and two of the fun ones were the day before a marathon), one 5 mile race, one trail 10K, two marathons, one half marathon (training run), and one relay. That was plenty of "racing" for me.

As for this year, it remains to be seen what it's going to look like. My main focus right now is marathons. My year will take shape completely dependent on how the Louisiana Marathon turns out this weekend. If I BQ, and by what I think is enough of a margin, then perhaps Boston 2019 will be my next marathon. If I don't succeed in this goal and want to try for another one during the 2019 qualification timeframe, I'll have to find another marathon. That will be my priority. This means that once again, I'll be the world's worst triathlete.

But I'm okay with that. I'm finding that when I stretch my focus across too many goals, then I suffer. It's much better for me to focus on just one thing at a time. I feel like I'm in such great marathon shape right now, and I LOVE THAT, so for now that focus is exactly right for me.

A part of me misses all the racing I used to do, but then again not having to worry about tapering and recovery of minor races meant that my focus during the training season was 100% on my marathon training plan. Using the one half marathon I did as a training run was the best decision, although at the the time I was irritated about the weather derailing my ability to race it. In hindsight, by slowing it down and focusing on form, cadence, and breathing, without having to worry about a recovery period after the race, it did me far more good than had I raced it. I swear, you learn something new every training cycle!

I did race the 5 miler 2 1/2 weeks before the marathon, and because it was a short race in very cold temps, it ended up serving as a big confidence boost, a lesson in pace control and breathing, and exactly how to deal with freezing temps since that's what race day offered up. Because of it's short duration, there was no recovery required beyond one rest day. Instead, I was able to chalk it up as an intense speed session.

I'm nervous as heck going into race week. Louisiana Running Festival is this weekend, with a shakeout 5k on Saturday (aiming for marathon pace in that one), and then the marathon on Sunday. Start temps won't be above 30 if this forecast holds (and I think it will, or just get colder, because since the 15 day forecast came out, all it's done is get colder and colder and colder), so I know I'm being blessed with the exact conditions I need to run my very best. I have to hope that I did my recovery correct. My body is not perfect, but I think my grit and determination can make up for any deficits caused by the marathon last month. I know, based on the data, that I still had something in me to push even harder in Mississippi, so I'm going to try my best to tap into that on Sunday. I will be crossing that finish line with NOTHING left. Greg should have that inhaler ready!

I know what it feels like to qualify for Boston. It's the most indescribable feeling for someone like me, who wasn't born with a bunch of talent and had to fight hard to get to that caliber. I need to be thinking of that during every moment of that race.

And then, when it's all done, I can think about how the rest of my year will shape up and where my focus can be. Marathoner or triathlete...or both? Remains to be seen!

Unlucky #13 but I still won - THE FINALE

Now that the race is over, my stats have been analyzed, my emotions all over the damn place, it's time to truly reflect on the past several months.

(Note: For the purpose of my analysis, I'm using my adjusted Mississippi Gulf Coast time of 3:50:54 rather than my official shortened-course time of 3:48:19.)

How did I got from a marathon PR of 4:17:53 all the way down to 3:50:54? This equates to a time difference of 26:59, or 1:02/mile. It's been nearly four years since I ran that 4:17 marathon, and since then I've run a 4:21, 4:25, and 4:35. Not exactly stellar times, especially when I'm a much stronger runner at shorter distances.

The last few years haven't been too kind to me on the running front, and it's been a two year long battle to come back to better shape and better mental strength. When the weather in Baton Rouge in January forced me to hold back, I had to abandon my PR and run smart and slow, which was a bummer. But even if I had "raced," I likely would not have run faster than a 4:10 or 4:15. When I ran in the Texas Independence Relay in March, I fell apart and was miserable. It pissed me off.

So then came April and I made the decision that this was not acceptable and I was going to completely change things up and get my sorry ass into shape and blow my marathon PR out of the water. I've written several blog posts since then about my journey to Sunday's race.

From my 4/20/17 blog: Are you ready for a marathon? And OMG I want to go to Boston

"I want to go to Boston. I want to qualify. My new age group qualification window opens up in September, and it gives me another 10 minute cushion for qualifying. But I still need to run a 3:55, and because of the demand of the race even that time will not be enough to gain entry. I will need to shoot for a 3:52. This is nearly a minute per mile faster than my fastest marathon. I have run a 1:51 half, when I was in fantastic shape, so I know the speed is there for me. I just need to tap into it and have a really great BQ race day.

I WANT TO GO TO BOSTON.

I'm laying the groundwork now for making this possible. I want this. I'm ready for this."

The journey had begun. 

Then I began writing about how my Training Plan took shape and started to progress from that early version to something even more intense.

From my 4/30/17 blog: Training Plan

"Writing all of this out is helping me to see the big picture. I'm still slightly terrified of the work ahead of me, but strangely excited. It will forever be so weird to me that this girl who never really did any sports growing up (well, I tried and I kind of sucked) is talking about running 800 miles in the second half of the year and tackling two more marathons by the time I hit my next birthday. Pretty damn cool."

From my 6/7/17 blog: Progress

"I know this means that all the work I'm putting in with regards to my nutrition and consistency and effort is paying off. My head is telling me I can do it and my body is responding. Huge boost for my mental game, that's for sure. Knowing my body is stronger and my lungs are working better than usual tells me that no matter what crazy workout Christine gives us, I can do it. This also means she's probably getting wise to me and will make me run faster."

From my 6/19/17 blog: Summer has arrived

"There's a time and place for race pace and faster runs. Long run weekend is not one of those, especially in this part of my training cycle and in the summer. I'm building up my base so my body is ready for more mileage. I added a fourth day to my running last week, and I have 4 weeks until the difficult training technically starts. As I get deep into training, some of my long runs will incorporate race pace miles, but usually no more than 30% of the run, and the rest of the miles will be at long run pace. Speed will happen during interval runs, tempo runs, races, track nights, and runs like those, but in order to properly prepare oneself for the rigors of the volume of marathon training, you have to allow yourself the luxury of recovery miles and long, slow miles. If I ran 8:58 pace day in and day out, at 40 or 50+ miles per week, I would be depleted on race day."

It was becoming more and more clear to me at this point that my strategy, while frustrating because it forced me to run over 10:00/mile pace, I had to stick to it and be patient.

From my 7/13/17 blog: Intentional Training

"I'm not stressing about my long run pace at all anymore, whereas I used to be so bummed if I didn't train at a certain pace all the time. By focusing more on my heartrate and cadence I'm able to steadily improve my aerobic fitness."

"Proper recovery from the tougher workouts is vital (yay recovery runs!) to be able to continue to perform well during those particularly hard weeks. I'm just continuing to chant that mantra of "easy pace, easy pace, easy pace" (no matter how much my teammates laugh at how anal I've become). My long slow runs are paying dividends during hard workouts and will (hopefully, oh pretty please) pay off on race day." 

 From my 8/13/17 blog: Trying to see the light

"I'm doing just fine with intervals, tempos, and hill repeat pacing. I can see all that improving, I can see my cardiovascular strength improving, and I know I'm making progress. But those 10+ minute long runs....ugh....I think realizing the benefit of long SLOW runs is a tough thing in general for marathoners to deal with. It's hard to see that when you run so much slower than goal pace, you're actually doing something good for yourself."

"I know that my biggest strength right now, besides my improvement in cardiovascular strength, is my attitude, and while I am struggling to push a few doubts away, I do really believe in myself. Most of the time, at least. But I'm also human and have anxiety and need to take a few deep breaths now and then to calm myself down. My attitude is a thousand times better than it's been in recent years and I'm trying so damn hard to hold onto that!"

From my 9/15/17 blog: It's the strangest thing

"I read an article titled 'Change your mindset to improve your race times.' It couldn't have come at a better time, right when I'm starting to incorporate race pace miles into my long run and I'm pushing myself harder during hard workouts now that the weather is better.

Be mindful of the deceptive paralysis that can take hold when you become intimidated by your increasingly faster paces.

Basically this means that we allow the fear of the faster paces we are running, and the daunting thought of actually running that in a race, hold us back on race day. We are physiologically capable of our goal, but our minds work against us and we fail to truly believe in our ability. We fear going 'balls to the wall' and then failing."

 It's fascinating to me to read all of this again and see my newfound strength taking shape as the training cycle progressed.

My my 10/6/17 blog: 9 more weeks

"The next few weeks will really see some serious commitment. 170 miles in October, 190 in November, and then tapering to December 10 race day. Tempos, long runs, track work, easy days, strength work, balance work....did I mention serious commitment?

This shit is so good for me. It's hard and I love it. I'm scared as hell of failing at my goals, but dammit I'm going to do everything I can to get myself to that starting line in the best shape of my life."

From my 11/10/17 blog: Hello Hell Week

"My training volume is more than I have ever done and I can't deny that I was really worried when I wrote the plan. I knew I needed higher volume to do what I want to do, but it frightened me to think of doing midweek long runs in addition to the REALLY long runs over the weekend, to sometimes run 6 days per week...and even 6 days in a row.

But I'm still alive and I'm right smack dab in the middle of hell. Last week I ran 54 miles, this week is 49 and next week is 54. Then I get to taper. November 19 can't come soon enough!"

From my 11/24/17 blog: Turkey Trot Badassery

"I'm so glad that I decided to race this. I was in a good position to run well, to shake my demons out one last time, and to finish out the rest of my marathon taper with really good thoughts in my head. Running 7:45 average for 5 miles was not nearly as hard as I expected it could be, so to add over a minute per mile to that pace and hold it for 26.2 seems very doable to me. So far the weather in Biloxi is looking great for the marathon. I will have rested legs and I'm at my best shape ever. My confidence is as good as it's going to get and I'm very happy."

From my 11/29/17 blog: The Home Stretch

"I need to keep remembering how all of this feels, that race pace is not a big deal to me, that I'm perfectly capable of dialing into that pace during my race and being okay. I really need to remember that I can run a marathon probably much faster than a 3:52 if I tried even harder. Because I can. Every single data point is telling me this.

And I need to STOP remembering that if I run my stretch goal, I will have taken an entire minute off my pace from my PR marathon. I need to STOP telling myself that people just don't do that. Because I'm perfectly capable to doing that. I made it my goal, I did the work, and the glory is right in front of me to take."

Wow....going through my posts since April was fun and crazy.

Do you want to run a fantastic marathon? Do you want to improve beyond what you thought possible? Everyone has different strengths, and some plans that work for others might not work for you. But I can tell you what I did and why I think it worked, and perhaps you can take some of this into your own training.

1. I lost weight. I lost over 10% of my bodyweight since April. I am probably well below 20% bodyfat and am my leanest ever. I did this by cutting out sugar. I didn't eat desserts, I didn't eat candy, I avoided it like the plague. Any sugar I got was in the form of cocktails, because let's be serious...this is marathon training and I needed a damn drink sometimes. I cut out most refined carbs and processed crap. I cooked with whole grains and no white sugar. I snacked on fruit. It was exactly what worked for my body to drop all the excess. I'm sure a big side effect of this was also being able to consistently feel strong in my workouts.

2. I was consistent. If I had to run that day, I did. I didn't get lazy. I respected the training plan and the process.

3. I significantly, but intelligently, increased my volume. I had been working on my base from April to July, when the training plan kicked in. By the time the harder workouts really hit and the 30+ mile weeks started, I had a very strong running base. Adding on the volume and intensity week after week was completely doable. I decided that to be serious, I needed to consistently be running 40-55 mile weeks during the final 10 weeks of training.

August miles: 131
September miles: 163
October miles: 167
November miles: 186

I ran 5-6 timed per week, every week, and sometimes 6 days in a row. The volume was high and relentless.

4. I respected recovery. In order to run at a high volume, I never ran two intense training runs consecutively. A typical week would consist of Monday recovery run (4-6 miles), Tuesday interval or tempo run (7 miles), Wednesday easy longer distance run (8-10 miles), Thursday track work (6-9 miles), Friday rest, Saturday easy run (4-8 miles), Sunday long run (with 3 runs over 3 hours). Goal race pace, for my stretch A goal of a 3:52 marathon, was 8:51 pace. My long runs rarely were below 10:00 pace, my recovery runs were more like 10:15-10:30 pace, but because I took it so easy on those days, my Tuesday and Thursday quality workouts were intense and I ran better than expected. My Sunday long run, even in high humidity and high temps, were strong up to the end of the run. When I incorporated some race pace miles into my long runs, I didn't have much trouble hitting the right pace.

It's a difficult thing for us to throw out our ego and run slow and admit we ran slow. It's so much more glamorous to post that we ran our long run at 8:45 pace instead of 10:15 pace. But you won't hit your goals if you overtax your body. Your hard run days will suffer. Your body simply can't sustain that kind of intensity and you won't be rewarded on race day if you tear your body down. The goal is to build your aerobic endurance. If you do that, you'll be amazed at what you can do on race day.

5. I paid attention to my heart rate. I needed to stay in Zone 2 or less for 70% of my running miles. Because of the summer/fall temps and humidity I would get into low Zone 3 during long runs, but not Zone 4. As the training progressed, I was finding that my heart rate average was steadily declining during quality workouts, so I was able to see that I could start to push even harder during those. I could hold a Zone 3 and 4 heart rate for longer and longer during tempo runs. By analyzing this data, it gave me the confidence that my fitness was heading into the right direction and I was on my way to achieving a much faster pace for a marathon.

6. I took care of my body with non-running work. Strength training, balance work, physical therapy to work on my imbalances, foam rolling, stretching. All of this was vital to keep my body in tip top shape and injury free.

7. I believed in myself. Half the battle during a marathon is mental, not physical. During the last 10K, while your body is definitely fatiguing, most people give up their pace because they allow their minds to screw with them. They forget to trust their training and they give in to all the doubts. But with the right kind of training under your belt, you don't have to allow this to happen. It's not easy, but a slow down in the second half of a marathon is not inevitable. As a matter of fact, with the right training, you should be able to run a negative split race. You HAVE TO believe that. You HAVE TO trust your training. You HAVE TO believe that you are strong beyond measure.

8. I had nothing to lose. During the race on Sunday, which you can read about in yesterday's blog, I went out from Mile 1 with the intention of RACING. There was no real warm up in those early miles, no super slow miles to ease into the distance, like there has been in every other marathon of mine. It was great weather, it was a great course, and I had absolutely nothing to lose by racing fiercely and fearlessly.

I had put in the work, I knew I had tapered the previous three weeks properly, I had so much training volume under my belt, I knew what pace I was capable of, I knew I could probably run even faster, so that is exactly what I allowed my body to do. I felt good, I was running miles faster than my racing plan, but I didn't let that scare me. I kept at it and kept running faster and knew that even if I slowed a little at the end, that I had done everything I could do meet my goal. I ran a negative split race, just like I planned.

I HAD TO BE FEARLESS. 

I CRUSHED MY DAMN RACE. I ran a Boston Qualifying marathon by a long shot. I basically secured my starting place in Hopkington on April 15, 2019 (until the course was de-certified, unfortunately).

So today, four days post marathon, I am attacking my new plan with fervor. In 31 days I will once again get to a marathon start line with my plan to crush my Boston Qualifying time. As a matter of fact, I want to crush my shortened course time of 3:48:19, which would require me running an 8:43 average pace. I absolutely can do this. My legs feel great, I am ready to ease into running again, starting tonight, and my heart is ready to embrace this journey once again.

Unlucky #13 but I still won - PART 2

Sunday, December 10 was a gorgeous morning. I woke up a little after 4am so I could get ready, eat some breakfast, and catch the shuttle to the start line, a ride that would take about 45 minutes. It was dark and only 28 degrees out, but I bundled myself up, all my gear in hand, ready to crush the race I had trained so hard for.

The start area was so quiet. We would start on Beach Blvd in Pass Christian, MS, surrounded by practically nothing. A very mellow and relaxing way to get up the courage to run my race plan and be successful in my first attempt to qualify for Boston.

We were allowed to stay on our shuttles in the warmth while we waited for the start of the race, which was a great thing because it was brutally cold outside. As the sun rose along the Gulf, I said about a thousand prayers that this race would go well. It was truly a beautiful morning.

The marathon course was going to be a great one. The first 24 miles are run on Beach Blvd., with the beach on our right and some pretty impressive homes on our left. Once in Biloxi and Mile Marker 24, we enter the on ramp to I-110 for just under 2 miles round trip, then weave around MGM Park to enter the stadium for the finish. Great scenery, and because it's a straight shot for most of the race, it's a big opportunity to get into a good pace groove.

This is the first marathon where I actually did a jog and drill warm up. My race execution plan called for me to start at a much faster-than-I'm-used-to pace for an endurance distance. Coupled with 28 degree temps, a warm up was necessary.

FIRST 10K

I started just behind the 4:00 pacer, and let the group get slightly ahead of me for the first two miles. My starting pace felt fantastic! I got through the first two miles in 18:21, about 30 seconds ahead of plan. I did not let this freak me out, however. I didn't want to get caught up in the numbers on my Garmin unless I was running too slow. I had to run by feel and if I was lucky, my feel good pace would be better than expected. So far so good.

Mile 3 came in at 8:49. Ok, so that was a bit fast, but this was also when I passed the huge group with the 4:00 pacer. I was a little overly excited about that. I settled into a groove for miles 4-6, averaging 9:00 pace, and this was the last time I saw any miles over 9:00 for the duration of the race. It helped tremendously that I started running with a gentleman named Tom, a local whose goal was to break 4 hours and who was more than happy to run my pace and have some company. Thank you, Tom!!

The timing mat for the 10K was placed at about 6.3 miles, so while my split came in right where my plan called for it to, I was actually running faster. First 6.3 miles came in at 56:49, 9:01 pace. And I was feeling great. I also tried not to think about the fact that I still had 20 miles to run.

I got to see Greg for the first time at this checkpoint. Always a big boost to see him!

Giving Greg the all clear that I was racing well

ONTO THE HALFWAY POINT

I had settled into a pretty sweet groove at this point, taking in the scenery, chatting with Tom about the gulf coast area, and making sure my miles were on target or under and feeling comfortable but not too comfortable. Every mile between 7 and 12 was in the 8:40s and 8:50s. My plan didn't even call for me to hit anything under 8:50 until after halfway, so this was time in the bank for me, yet I wasn't overdoing it. I do remember thinking during mile 9 that I was a third of the way done, and strangely this didn't freak me out. It's almost like I was actually performing like a good marathoner now or something. Even my heartrate was under control, staying comfortably in Zone 3.

Mile 13 I like to think of as my Golden Mile. The timing mat came at 12.5 miles instead of the expected 13.1 miles (which is what the tracking app indicated). So all the people who were following me were probably wondering how I ran sub-8 pace between 10K and 13.1. No worries, folks...I did no such thing. I was at 1:51:42 at 12.5 miles and not 13.1. My average pace at this point was now 8:57. Mile 13 was my first mile that came in under 8:40 pace and while I could feel the fatigue setting in, I was still doing exceptionally well. I ran Mile 13 in 8:38! Just wow! I ran the first half of this marathon in 1:56:45.

I had just run my third fastest half marathon. Well, how about that!?!

I also got to see Greg again! I let him know it was starting to get a little hard.

Look at my scenery!

13.1 to 20 MILES

This is the point to where reality starts setting in during most marathons. Lucky for me, I was just getting started. I started knocking out miles in the 8:30's at this point, mile after mile after mile. Now, don't get me wrong. This was not an easy pace for me. I was working hard. I focused on a high cadence, on keeping my shoulders back, and just getting to the next mile marker. I needed to chip away at the course five minutes at a time at this point. It was working, though, because while it was not easy to maintain my pace, it was still completely doable. I was still running with Tom during this stretch.

I HAD TO BELIEVE IN MY TRAINING. It was probably right around Mile 17 that my mental game kicked in. I was down to single digits in miles left to run, I was not slowing down, I still felt pretty decent considering I was PR'ing every single distance past halfway at this point. Fastest 14 miles, fastest 15....16....17....oh hey, look, it's my fastest 18....19....20 miles.

I saw Greg again, and passed a timing mat at 20 miles. OH MY GOSH, I WAS AT 20 MILES! And I still was under 3 hours. Completely unreal to me, and a huge motivation to me as well that I had just run 20 miles in well under 3 hours.

I hit the mat at 2:56:32. From halfway to 20 miles, my pace was 8:40 average. My overall pace through 20 miles was now 8:49. I was under my goal pace of 8:51 (this is what I needed to run in order to be 3 minutes under my BQ standard). All I had to do was maintain this average pace for less than an hour and I was golden.

I told Greg that I had it in the bag.
Pay no mind to how bad I look here.

FINAL 10K

I refuse to let the 20 mile wall myth bother me. Okay, so it's not a myth. People really do hit a wall physically sometimes, but more often than not for me it's been a mental wall and I don't do that crap anymore. I've done this enough times to know how to toughen up in the last hour of a marathon, and with my training this time around I was in better shape than I've ever been. All I needed to do was run 58:28 for the final 10K and I was a Boston Qualified runner. That's 9:25 pace. I hadn't even run a single mile that slow yet and I wasn't about to start now! Unfortunately, I had lost Tom, so this last stretch was solo.

The fatigue was setting in. I was counting down the half miles, sometimes the quarter miles, and putting one foot in front of the other, trying to keep a high cadence, trying not to slow down. Mile 21 was awesome at 8:41, but then I started hitting 8:50 miles. I needed to stop looking at my watch, so that's what I did. At this point I just needed to maintain 10:00 average to qualify, and that was a huge comfort to me.

At this point, I just RAN. I was passing people like nobody's business and having a grand time responding to their comments of "great job!" with "I'M GOING TO BE A BOSTON QUALIFIER!"

The 23 mile marker is always a good one for me. I have about a 5K left to run, less than 30 minutes. I can always run 3 more miles. The more sub-9 miles I was clicking off, the more time I was banking and the better my chances were getting to BQ.

At 24 miles we turn off of Beach Blvd and onto the on ramp to I-110. I saw Greg at this point and I looked at my watch again. It was kind of a blur, but I thought I saw 3:31. I had 2.2 miles to run and 24 minutes to get there. I wasn't really slowing down. We went up the ramp and this was the only point in the course with any kind of real incline, but it didn't bother me. Using different muscles was a good thing and I tried desperately to not slow down. It's a long steady incline, probably about a good half mile before it levels out. My favorite part was being able to look down into MGM Park and the finish line and see people crossing it. Talk about lighting a fire in me to hurry my ass up and finish! Once I hit the flatter part on the interstate I relaxed a bit. I had about 15 minutes left to run and I would be done.

The half marathoners had a turn around point closer to ours and I was thinking that there needed to be a course marshall there to be sure none of the marathoners cheated and turned early. Our turnaround was about a minute further down the road.

This is where the race went sideways, unbeknownst to all of us. 

They placed our turnaround cone short of the certified spot. We didn't know this while we were running. I was elated to finally get around that cone and to truly be on my way to a great marathon finish. I hit mile 25 in 8:50 and began to hopefully speed up for that last 10 minutes, particularly on this downhill off the interstate.

It didn't even seem like that long before we were back to Beach Blvd and turning left to make our way around MGM Park. I saw Greg again, and this time he was waving my Boston Marathon shirt at me. He was so excited because he knew I had blown away my goal.

Seeing the Mile 26 marker and entering the stadium for my finish was like nothing else I've felt in any of the races I have done.

As I rounded the curve to the finish, I saw the clock and it surprised me. I know I hadn't paid a whole lot of attention to my watch the last several miles, but I was not expecting to see a 3:48. I felt like I had really kicked it in the end to pull that off.

I crossed the line in 3:48:19.

Greg caught my finish on video. It was incredibly emotional. I was crying like I have never cried at a race finish.

I WAS A BOSTON QUALIFIER! And I had over 6 minutes to spare!

My overall pace in the results showed 8:43.
I was 5th in my age group of 36 women.
18th overall woman out of 209 (although I did catch a cheater in the results that needs to be removed and that will make me 17th of 208).
77th overall out of 441 finishers (or 76 of 440 after the cheater goes bye-bye).
I passed 22 women and 33 men in the second half.
Nobody passed me after the initial few minutes of settling into our paces. NOBODY PASSED ME.

Never before have I placed so high in a marathon and it was an exhilarating feeling.

I started to hyperventilate a little, and medical came over to me very quickly to be sure I was okay. Thankfully, my breathing got under control once I stopped crying.

I was so damn happy! 

Half Split was really a 12.5 mile split

Awhile later, I looked at my Garmin and it showed I had run 25.91 miles. My heart about stopped.

The course was short. I hoped I was wrong, but in all honesty I knew they had messed up that turnaround cone and misplaced it and shortened the course. By this time, I had posted to social media, I had gone through all the emotions of a fantastic race, and I had to hold out hope that everything was going to be okay. I didn't want to say anything until I knew for sure.

To make a long story short, it wasn't okay. Yesterday, the race director conceded, after vehemently denying the course was anything other than the certified distance, that a mistake had been made. In the rush of the morning, the measurements were taken off of the wrong spot, placing the cone short, and making the course 25.905 miles.

I was no longer a Boston Qualifier. It was being taken away from me, despite being so far under my qualifying standard and there being no doubt that I would have run 26.2 in under 3:51 had I been given the chance to complete that distance.

I wrote a blog post yesterday about the official ruling and my initial reactions. Today, my sadness is greater and my frustration is high. I ran an incredible race. I am a deserving Boston Marathon Qualifier, just without the title. I still have to go out and earn that again.

Rather than focus on that, however, I'm going to use this blog post to focus on the positives in my race execution. For the sake of the analysis, I'm going to adjust my finish time to reflect what it likely would have been at 26.2 miles. I was running 8:46 in mile 26 according to my Garmin (definitely wasn't speeding up like I thought!). Assuming I maintained that pace for the 0.295 miles that the course was short, my finish time would have been 3:50:54.

My first half was run in 1:56:45 at 8:54 average pace. My third fastest half marathon at the time. My second half would have been run in 1:54:09, 8:42 average, making it my second fastest half and pushing my first half to becoming my fourth fastest. I seriously think it's time to go bust out a 1:45 stand-alone half marathon, amiright?

My average heartrate was 152. This is the stat that truly blows my mind. Max heartrate was only 162. I never hit zone 5, and I stayed in zone 3 for over 2 hours. It makes me think I have a faster marathon in me RIGHT NOW.

Because I feel like I have to fix this unfortunate situation, I am still planning to run in Baton Rouge on January 14. It's a fantastic course, from the same race directors, and I ran it earlier this year. I have to go for another Boston attempt. The race directors are offering Boston Qualifiers free entry, but because I already registered I am asking for a refund of my entry fee. Either that, or I'll accept a free entry to run Mississippi Gulf Coast again. The fact that I loved that race, that course, the people, everything about it has not changed. I will absolutely run it again given the chance.

I want to run faster than my 25.91 mile time in Biloxi. It will give me the ability to say without a doubt that my marathon PR is in the 3:40's, without an asterisk. I am going to recover, get back into intelligent training, get to Baton Rouge, and run that crap out of that course. I have the confidence and mental strength I need to do this again, no matter how many times it takes me.

Stay tuned for Part 3, where I will talk about why I think the training worked for me to take over 27 minutes off my marathon PR.

5th age group is pretty close to Top Finisher!

My miles 1-20 running buddy, Tom! He finished in 3:52.

Greg had TWO beers.

Here's my medal

My favorite cheerleader and biggest supporter

Unlucky #13 but I still won - PART 1

So many feelings, thoughts, emotions, confusion, craziness....

December 10, 2017, is the day I became a good marathoner. It took me 13 tries, but I finally know how to race 26.2 miles. Nobody can take that away from me.

In the week leading up to the Mississippi Gulf Coast Marathon, I was a bundle of nerves. I had done the training, I had KILLED the training, I was in full taper mode, I was taking very good care of myself, and I was ready to see what I was made of. But to be honest, knowing it was my 13th marathon (of all numbers), I couldn't quite settle the stupid nerves.

The events of our travel day to the Gulf Coast on Friday were absolutely insane and I didn't quite share all of it on social media, but I'll share it here. As we were leaving to take the kids to school and then leave for the airport to catch our 11am flight, Greg informs me he can't find his wallet. He was frantically searching everywhere in his work stuff, in the cars, and in the house for it, to no avail. It had simply vanished. In the meantime, I'm trying not to totally lose it. My nerves were completely frayed and having this kind of hiccup about did me in. Greg felt terrible for the delay and the stress. Thankfully, he has a passport, so traveling would not be a problem. Hoping that someone hadn't stolen his wallet at work was the bigger worry.

The kids were late to school by a couple minutes and for that we apologized. There was one more thought at home on where the wallet could be so we headed back there. No luck. We had no choice but to head to the airport immediately or we'd be late for our flight. About five minutes into the commute to AUS, Greg got a call from work that a housekeeping staff member had found his wallet under a conference room table. Hallelujah! Except that the detour was going to add another 20 minutes to our drive and we were already pushing our luck on getting to the airport on time.

When we arrived at the airport, wallet now safely in hand, we had 45 minutes until our flight, with bags to check still, so Greg dropped me off at curbside check-in and went to go park the car in the parking garage because long term parking would take way too long. He actually ended up beating me through security as I of course got in the longest line. But we made it through and to our gate right as they were lining up to board.

But it gets a little better. Greg then informs me that in our haste at the curbside drop off, his phone fell out of the car. When he parked and realized what had happened he hightailed it to where the crime was committed and found it laying in the middle of the crosswalk, completely unharmed. What are the chances that no one would have run it over? I am so glad I had no clue this was all happening because my nerves were completely shot at this point.

But it STILL gets better. The first 65 minutes of our flight were totally uneventful. Smooth sailing to New Orleans, where we would pick up our car, eat some delicious gumbo and shrimp, and then head to Biloxi. Except of course that's not what happened. Now, mind you, the south was in the midst of a snow and ice debacle. Snow everywhere, ice everywhere, freezing temps everywhere. While we were in our descent, TWO MINUTES FROM LANDING, the pilot turns the plane around. I shit you not.

We had to head to Houston because there was no de-icing equipment at the New Orleans airport. We could land the plane but then it would be unlikely they could get it off the ground again and back in use. So they flew us back to Houston, where they could keep the plane in service.

Well, that sucked. Now we were stuck in Houston, over 6 hours away from our destination, and it was now after 1pm. The New Orleans and Gulfport airports were now shut down and all other flights to anywhere remotely close to Biloxi were booked. We had to drive. However, because there was a baggage fiasco at Houston Hobby, it took over an hour to get our checked luggage. Thankfully I sent Greg ahead to get our rental car before every other stranded person tried to steal it from us (there were several diverted and stranded passengers in Hobby). He ended up getting the last rental car at National. Another Hallelujah, but OH MY GOSH THIS NEEDED TO STOP.

We finally got out of Houston after 3pm and headed to Biloxi, hoping the roads were all clear and there would be no ice or closures. IT WAS FREEZING OUT. Snow on the ground everywhere, bridges near the gulf were closed, and it was not a certainty that we'd be in Biloxi anytime soon. Luckily, for the first time all day, there were no more delays.

Hello weird snow on the coast

I wanted to get there on Friday because both Greg and I were running the 5k on Saturday and we needed to get to the Expo for bib pickup that day. They closed at 7pm. The race graciously allowed packet pickup on race morning because no many people could not get there on Friday, so that problem was diverted.

I can't tell you how happy I was to lay on my hotel bed that night, after 11pm, and go to sleep. I needed the rest. That was an insane travel day.

We woke up on Saturday morning feeling so much better. It was 31 degrees out, there was still snow on the ground (seriously, snow on top of sand just ain't right!), and we were ready to get out our frustrations in the 5K. My plan was to use it as a shake out run so I was as ready as can be for the marathon on Sunday. Greg planned to go balls-to-the-wall and race his heart out.

To make a long story a little shorter, this race was really great. I felt fantastic and headed out at marathon race pace with absolutely little effort. I built some speed to hit mile 3 at 7:56. Unfortunately, the turnaround cone was placed a little too far (OH MY GOSH THE IRONY), and the race was 3.33 miles. No big deal to us because we weren't going for a PR but rather just wanted to go out and have fun. I got the chance to feel what Sunday race day conditions would be like so I could head to the start Sunday totally prepared, I got to shake out my legs, and Greg got to feel what a sub-7 min/mile pace in a 5K felt like again.

Greg ran the 3.33 miles in 22:59 for a 6:55 pace, 4th in his age group of 35, and 13th overall of 566. I ran 27:55 for an 8:22 pace, 4th in my age group out of 51, and 66th overall. Successful morning!

Time to eat all the food, drink all the water, go to the expo, take a nap, and then eat all the food again.

Stay tuned for Part 2.