The high I rode from Boston quickly became an "oh crap, how in the world am I injured AGAIN??"
My psoas, abdominals and adductors became strained and inflamed and just would not calm down so I went to physical therapy a few times and it worked very well. While I'm not 100%, I am back to running 25 miles per week again. My lower body is strong right now from all the strength work I'm doing and I'm cautiously optimistic about my next training cycle. I'm frustrated by my right side and all the trouble it has had over the last 10 months. I'm frustrated that some of my injuries weren't even running related. But I'm back on track and trying my best to be smart and patient. Running only 56 miles in May was defeating. It made me realize again how important that time to myself and that endorphin release was to my mental health and stress level.
I wasn't doing so well with my stress and anxiety and that made me change a few things in my life in the last several weeks. I knew that these changes would need to happen and I'm so glad that I just ripped the band aid off and did it. The weight is being lifted off my shoulders and it's a great feeling.
Right now is a time in my life when I need to be introspective, selfish, and focused on my family. I hate to use the word selfish, but I don't know another way to describe it. I am such a people pleaser and usually so willing to be a reliable, go-to kind of person. It bothers me to no end when I feel like I have failed anyone. The sensible part of me knows that by turning my focus inward was absolutely the right thing to do, the emotional part of me still feels bad. At first, it felt pretty isolating and that makes you think deeply about a lot of stuff.
Removing distractions from my life that were in any way negative also meant that I stopped checking social media. No Instagram and no Facebook for over a month now. For 11 years I checked Facebook probably daily, and yet I have not really missed it. My husband is on still, and he lets me know when important things are posted by friends or family, so that's good. It's WEIRD not being active on these platforms, and apparently I had a few friends mention that there was no way I could take a real break from it, but it's been a very good thing to do. I don't know when I'll be back...a month, a few months....I just don't know. You see, being exposed to petty complaints, negativity, frivolous stuff was messing with my head way too much. Add in the political rants that just wouldn't quit and the nastiness that was embedded in those posts, and it was just making me angry almost on a daily basis. Going down those rabbit holes was shifting my focus away from what is actually important to me. I don't know why I couldn't just focus on all the good things that are on social media, but try as I might, it just wasn't happening.
The weight that if off my shoulders is awesome. I wake up every day knowing that I'm giving attention to my kids and husband and family, I'm getting projects done that make me feel accomplished, I've had an eventful summer, and I'm planning the rest of our summer adventures. I'm looking ahead to the rest of the year, I was able to get my son all his driving hours in so he could get his license (and he did!), I am reading more, I'm taking the dogs on more walks, and I'm just enjoying the summer. It makes the heavy stuff easier to bear, and unfortunately, the heavy stuff was plentiful this year.
There have been some good things that are happening with my family, too. My husband is continually being recognized at work for his successes and we are all very proud of him. Since he's the sole breadwinner, it's important to him to do his very best for our family, and he's gone above and beyond lately. It's been a busy few years for him after changing companies after 15 years at his old company, trying to make a name for himself in his new role, and he's been very successful. I'm excited to see what the future holds for his career. We are planning for retirement that will hopefully happen earlier rather than later.
I recently returned from California after taking my daughter to VidCon in Anaheim. It was tiring! But the time I spent one-on-one with her was priceless to me. There is nothing better to me than seeing her happy. She had a great time meeting her favorite YouTube personalities and being around a fun convention. I was a bit worried that the noise and activity would overwhelm her, but she seemed relatively unaffected by the chaos, and I'm so proud of her. We got a chance to walk over to Downtown Disney for lunch and shopping on the last day of the convention and I'm glad we did that. It's been awhile since I've been at anything Disney. Seeing my girl so happy makes me incredibly glad that we decided to go. I headed back to Austin, but she stayed behind with the grandparents and they are off on their own adventures with her in Mammoth Lakes.
In a few days, my husband, son, dogs and I will drive to SoCal to meet back up with her and the grandparents for the rest of the month. It's a bit of a crazy travel schedule, especially since my poor husband has to fly back to Austin (!!!) for a two day executive meeting right in the middle of our vacation. We are making the best of it and plan to really enjoy this time with family.
School starts again for my kids in the middle of August and I'll have two high schoolers. I didn't think the reality of this would hit me so hard, but it honestly has. I'm melancholy. I have two cool kids and we are in the twilight years of child-rearing and I don't think I'm quite ready for that. I'm excited about what adulthood will bring for them, but saddened that another season of my life will soon be over. I look at my baby girl and just can't picture her as a high schooler, even if she looks like one, and I want to snuggle up with her and never let her go. It makes me especially thankful for the time I spent with her last week.
Now I'm off to more adventures, off to training, off to a whole lot of fun!
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