And that's fine.
The beauty in our world lies in our uniqueness. If we were all alike, it would be pretty boring and we'd never learn anything new. So it's okay to not understand me, or not share my passions, or even care about my passions.
But I still like to talk about them. I still like to share them. As a matter of fact, I LOVE talking about what's important to me and why.
Finding out that I truly loved the journey of training for and running marathons was a huge surprise to me. If you had told me 15 years ago that I would be doing this as a hobby and a form of staying healthy and fit, I'd have laughed at you. I hated running, or so I thought.
Funny how when you give something weird or different a chance, you find out so much about yourself that you never even knew or understood.
First, it's always been important to me to be healthy. I have had fits and starts but for the most part, I've always taken very good care of myself. I want to be that 75 year old grandma who doesn't slow down or need assistance to do anything. I don't want my age or health to take control of me, ever. So it's really no surprise that I found a routine that works for me and keeps me healthy. It's not just running....I also make sure my nutrition is 95% good. What you put in your body is vitally important to health, just as exercise, as we all know. If it wasn't running, it certainly could've been something else equally good for me.
So why running? Well, it was easy to get started, it was easy to find running partners, and there were races all over the place to keep me motivated. It didn't cost a lot of money or require any fancy equipment or gym memberships. It was natural. We were meant to run and move our bodies.
Over the past 12 years, running has certainly evolved for me. After my sister passed away from obesity-related complications of flu and lupus in 2009, it spurred me on even more to remain healthy and inspire others to be healthy. It hurts deeply to see so many people in this world be flippant with their health. That would never be me, and I wanted to show others that it didn't have to be them either.
I learned as much as I could about running and proper training. I started running marathons in 2009 but it was more as a hobby and I didn't really push myself much to get better at it. I was much more successful at shorter distances, winning age group awards here and there, but I was very fearful of racing a marathon. "Jogging" one was much less daunting and for the majority of my 12 marathons up to 2017, that's what I did. I "jogged" them. Oh but trust me, they hurt regardless, however.
Well, I frankly got sick and tired of allowing my fear to take over and keep me from taking the marathon distance seriously. I also had allowed some other medical issues to wreak havoc on my wellbeing and in 2017 I was done with that crap. Things were changing.
Enter this crazy plan I hatched to qualify for the Boston Marathon. What a perfect way to face my fear head on. A perfect way to find out just how tough I was, how I could cultivate discipline and confidence and commitment that would hopefully spill out into other parts of my life.
Trying to get better....scratch that....trying to get GOOD at the marathon distance became my passion.
Now, "good" is relative. Boston qualifying standards are relative to your age and gender, so as a soon-to-be 45 year old woman, I had the benefit (I like to think of it as benefit) of having a reasonable qualifying standard of 3:55 (at the time, but has since changed to 3:50 for 2020). That's 8:58 pace. Not a scary pace for me normally, but scary as hell for 26.2 miles straight.
There were so many stressors in other areas of my life that often threatened to take me down. My daughter has gone through years of mental health hell, my son is a genius who lacks discipline, the country is full of people acting out in childish ways against each other, and I was getting burned out by all of it. Finding something that I could put my laser focus on, that would make me feel fantastic about myself, of which I could be in control, seemed ideal. Finding a newfound confidence in something I was fearful of was bound to help me in all other areas of my life.
This passion was sure making a whole lot of sense to me!
So therefore, the Boston Marathon, and being able to run it in 2019, became so important to me. But like with most things in life, it didn't exactly go as planned. I qualified in my 13th marathon....sort of. If the course hadn't been mismarked, it would've been an official qualification. But since it was not, I had to do everything in my power to put that aside and try again. Talk about FEAR. But I did and by a whole lot of luck, I was on the winning side of the nasty 4:52-under-BQ cut off.
I got to run the Boston Marathon and it was everything I ever dreamed it could be.
Boston is not a big deal at all for so many people. Pretty much every time they toe the line at a marathon, they qualify and it's relatively easy for them. There are a lot of people out there who don't know anything BUT a BQ, it's that "easy" for them. So getting into Boston is an annual thing for them. Year after year. Those people are beasts. Some understand how lucky they are, some blow it off as no big deal and don't get why people put so much energy into it.
That is not me at all. Just because I've made it there once does not guarantee I'll do it again. I certainly didn't come close to a qualifying time at Boston this year. I was what you would call a "squeaker." A BQ is the exception, not the rule, for me.
And that's why it's so important to me, why it was such a big deal to me that I got to run that race, why I will use that standard every time I run a marathon. It's HARD for me to run a 3:50. It's not a given. It's something I have to work hard for and fight for with every step, making it that much sweeter and more rewarding when it happens.
So when you think I'm out of my mind for making this one race so important, understand that it's not just about running a marathon. It's about facing my fears, cultivating discipline, becoming a better version of me, never taking health for granted, overcoming obstacles, and developing mental and physical strength that transcends the marathon.
That is why I love this distance. It's simply perfect for me.
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