Life took a turn for the extra difficult and our family is working to navigate it. It seems to be a pattern, but if you've endured any kind of mental illness in yourself or a loved one, then you know that there is nothing normal or serene about it. You could have a great couple months, and then your world turns upside down on a dime. Welcome to my reality. I never know when it's going to hit and when it does, sometimes it's particularly bad. We are navigating as best we can, but right now, the stress is threatening to do me in. I honestly don't remember the last time I felt this amount of stress. I'm helpless and exhausted.
Add on top of that the fear and uncertainty with COVID-19, and our anxiety is compounded. I know it's a temporary disruption in our lives, but it's still difficult. At first I wasn't so concerned with my immediate little family contracting the virus, but then I remembered that technically I am part of the compromised community. While I have it relatively under control, I have asthma. It's impossible to know how a virus like this could affect me. It could be mild, like when I had the flu a couple years ago, or it could hit me hard. I'd really rather not find out. Because of this, I'm very much trying not to go out in public. I'm still running (although avoiding water fountains and public bathrooms if at all possible), and I will likely still make quick trips to the grocery store, and I have appointments that are vital, but I want to avoid as many people as I can. I don't have a huge problem with this. I'm an introvert, so alone time is not a burden. I have a big house project I'm working on so it gives me free time to work on it.
Without any races coming up (which is a little weird), I don't have a set training plan. But I want to continue to run 5 or 6 days a week for the mental health therapy. I think it's so important for me to start my day doing something good for myself. With so many things out of control around me, I need to grab onto this part of my life and hold on. If I had to quarantine and be forced to not go outside, it could really really suck. Stair repeats, anyone? I don't own a treadmill!
I have been thinking the last couple days of our blessings. There are a lot of people out there truly scared about how this world has changed...they can't afford physically and/or financially to get sick, they don't know what to do if they can't work and they need to work to get paid, they don't know what to do if their kids' schools close because they don't have childcare available. I am lucky that this isn't my reality....very very lucky and I never want to take that privilege for granted. When people harp on businesses and the government about taking so long to shut down public areas/schools/businesses, etc, we all have to understand that while that might not greatly affect US, there are millions of people out there who will most definitely be impacted and their plight needs to be taken into account. I do not envy those in charge of these decisions and I'm very much impressed with the vast amount of work these people are doing right now. I can't fathom their exhaustion.
Show grace and be kind.
We also need to understand that while the cancellation of a certain event or trip might seem meaningless, it's still a big loss to some people. Much of our joy is derived from our extracurricular activities or watching pro sports or traveling and all of those things are an awesome escape from work and the stressful parts of life. Most of that is gone right now and for the foreseeable future, and it's going to eat away at us eventually. We are going to crave something outside our homes. So it's okay to feel that loss. But it, too, shall pass.
So again, I say to be kind and show grace.
We had an event upcoming at the end of March that I was looking forward to that was just cancelled. My son, my firstborn baby, accepted admission to the University of Texas in Tyler and will begin his freshman year there in the fall. Later this month we were planning to visit the campus for a all-day tour and information session. I've never been to Tyler and I'm so nervous about sending off my kid to college, so this day was a big one for us. I'm sure we will get an opportunity to visit before he moves there in August, but it is still a big bummer. On a positive note, I'm so proud of my kid for getting accepted into the UT system. He will be transferring to Austin after freshman year and graduate a Longhorn, which was his ultimate college choice. A big positive in our lives, for sure.
Please be aware when you are out in public, that there are so many people who need you to stay healthy and not spread this virus further. Don't galavant around with no thought for others.
Work together every day to make this better.
