It was only two weeks ago I wrote my last blog post about finding hope in affliction through my faith, and that I was on the mend from a lumbar disc herniation.
A lot can change in two weeks.
My last run was Thursday, April 4 and will likely be my last run of 2024.
I have somehow reinjured my spine. My L4/L5 disc herniation reared its ugly head again on Friday morning and the second time around has been even more painful than the original injury last fall. I spent five days in excruciating pain as the disc compressed my nerve down my entire left leg. I was at a pain level of 8-9 with very little relief. Drugged myself up as much as I could, but until the inflammation goes down, real relief is futile. Every morning, after a fitful night of sleep, I would hope that I would have a little less pain and a little more mobility…to no avail.
Five days of nerve pain absolutely drives you crazy. I was out of my mind yesterday. My orthopedist appointment wasn’t until today, Wednesday, and while I was able to get a round of prednisone and had a muscle relaxer on hand, no other home remedies were working. I decided yesterday afternoon to head to the ER. Greg also called my orthopedist to see if there was anything else I could do to ease the pain.
Thankfully the ER did help me out with a morphine shot. It alleviated some of the pain and I was as high as a kite almost immediately, causing me to not even give a shit about the residual pain. Sweet relief from my misery, even if it would only last a few hours. At this same time, Greg and my doctor were getting me set up for an epidural injection first thing this morning - that, by the way, feels really funky.
I had my doctor appointment this afternoon. Good news and bad news. Back to physical therapy, continuing those exercises to build up my strength and mobility, and a cessation of running and any impact activities for the foreseeable future. It wasn’t a surprise to me. I had been doing so well, so if I have to let one activity go to get my back fully healed, I’m willing to do so.
If I think too much about it, however, I start feeling beaten down again. It’s been a brutal 3.5 years. To not be able to run again on Snoqualmie Trail, to not run a race in Huntington Beach…and all the other miles that make my heart happy….well, it absolutely crushes me. I find so much joy in that journey, and now I’ll have to shift for a long period of time to other activities that will better serve my broken body.
One of the things that hurts the most, however, is upsetting Greg. He hates to see me like this and I know my tears were tearing him up inside. I spent his 50th birthday in excruciating pain and couldn’t celebrate him like I wanted to and how he deserved. He’s such a rock to me, however, and puts himself aside to fully focus on me. I want to be the wife he deserves, and that serves as motivation to do what I need to do, and not make stupid decisions that further hinder my healing and progress. I still envision us running many more miles together in the future.
The pain of running a marathon (if I ever get to do that again) will be a piece of cake to endure after all this.
