What a crazy-ass journey!

Oh my gosh, today sucks.

Boston Athletic Association finally announced the 2019 Boston Marathon cut-off time for entry into the race.

4:52

You had to run 4:52 under your standard in order to gain acceptance into the race. Absolutely nuts!

Greg was 4:43 under his qualifying time. So he got the denial email. The disappointment we feel is hard to put into words.

Nine freaking seconds.

If you've followed my BQ journey, then you know that my husband was not a marathoner before I qualified. He enjoyed running, had raced shorter distances, and was quite talented, but wasn't planning on running a marathon any time soon.

When I qualified, he decided he wanted to run Boston with me. So he signed up for a race. I've blogged about it a few times:

My husband the marathoner

Go Time

Boston Bound times two

There was always the chance that the cutoff would be something massive this year, but we never fathomed it would be more than his cushion.

When I saw the Facebook post from the B.A.A. today, I was instantly devastated. He worked so hard and sacrificed so much to work towards this goal and he nailed it. He ran such an incredible race, fought for every single second, and earned that BQ. To have it not be quite good enough for entry is a really tough pill to swallow.

I am incredibly proud of him. He did this for me, to be able to experience a bucket list item with me, and wanted so badly to be there with me at the starting line and the finish line and every single step of the 26.2 miles in between. I can't even put into adequate words how I feel about him and what he did for me. He will always be a Boston Qualified marathoner!

I feel like I'm the luckiest wife in the world to be married to someone like him. And I am so heartbroken for both of us. I am still incredibly excited to run the Boston Marathon next year but I can't help but think that I will feel like something is missing.

I barely made it in, with only 15 seconds to spare over the cut-off. If I hadn't been able to speed up during mile 26 at my qualifying marathon (it was 17 seconds faster than mile 25), I would've been less than 4:52 under and out of luck.

I also can't help but thinking that the debacle of a short course in Mississippi in December is a true blessing in disguise. I blogged about that race here:

Disappointment and Learning to move on

Success

I would not have run a fast enough time in Mississippi if the course hadn't been short and disqualified. The best I could've done was a 3:50:45, only 4:15 under my standard. I summed it up in the January 17 post:

It's interesting to me to look back on the past 38 days and everything that's happened. I BQ'd on December 10, only to see that the course was short. My time would've been just under 3:51 had the course been accurate. I had to recover fast and smart and try not to lose too much fitness over the next five weeks so I could do it again. I BQ'd again, this time by more than the 4:00 minute buffer I would've had in Mississippi. I think that's a really big positive to take out of this. I had a better finish time in Louisiana, so I have to see that as a silver lining to the stress from the last five weeks. Had my BQ counted in Mississippi, I doubt I would've raced as hard in Louisiana, and quite possibly would've only run the half marathon. 

I probably wouldn't have run a 3:49 in Louisiana and would not be running the 2019 Boston Marathon. 

The short course in Mississippi was a GOOD thing for me....who would've thought that at the time?

But in the meantime, the Hahn house is a sad and disappointed house. We are not angry. There's absolutely nothing that could have been done or anything that we could've controlled to have a different outcome. My husband raced as hard as he could and left everything on the course. There just happened to be a massive interest in the Boston Marathon and an impressive number of fast Boston Qualifiers out there this year. They only took 220 applicants out of more than 7600 who applied with less than a 5 minute cushion. 2.8% is all they could take! They had a record number of applicants, at over 30,000.

I would still love to run a marathon with my husband. He has no desire to try to qualify again. With the new standards, he needs to be even faster and I can totally understand not wanting to put himself through that. There are other races out there and perhaps we will find one that is meaningful for both of us.

Damn, I love that man.

The Process

I began this blog post last week and then decided to not post it until after I gained acceptance into the Boston Marathon. Well....

I AM IN!!

I got my confirmation of acceptance today and of course, immediately burst into tears. In the lead up to this morning, the Boston Athletic Association was making it really clear that it would be tougher than ever to get into the race.

Here's my post from last week:

*****

It's finally here...registration week!

I have lots of family and friends who are not runners, and I know the Boston Marathon process can seem pretty darn confusing. When I first started running, I had no idea you had to qualify to run it. And then I had no idea they had a charity program. And then they changed up all the rules a few years ago, and it got more confusing.

Qualifying doesn't necessarily get you into the race. You can check "Qualified for Boston" off your bucket list, but to secure a spot at the starting line, it can be tougher than that.

Back in 2012, Boston changed up the rules because the race was selling out so fast and some of the fastest runners out there weren't getting into the race. The qualifying standards got tougher, and they instituted a rolling registration schedule.

Currently the qualifying standards are as follows. They are based on gender and age group, and your qualifying time needed is based on your age on Boston Marathon race day.

MEN

18-34: 3:05
35-39: 3:10
40-44: 3:15
45-49: 3:25
50-54: 3:30
55-59: 3:40
60-64: 3:55
65-69: 4:10
70-74: 4:25
75-79: 4:40
80+: 4:55

WOMEN

18-34: 3:35
35-39: 3:40
40-44: 3:45
45-49: 3:55 <----that's me!
50-54: 4:00
55-59: 4:10
60-64: 4:25
65-69: 4:40
70-74: 4:55
75-59: 5:10
80+: 5:25

The qualifying window is typically 7-19 months prior to race day, mid-September to mid-September. Registration is in the September in the year prior to the race. The qualification window for the race will close when registration closes, so you can qualify right up until the last minute.

The registration process goes on for about 2.5 weeks. It is a rolling admission schedule, starting with the fastest qualifiers in his or her age group.

The first day of registration, in this case September 10, is for those who met their standard by 20 minutes or more. On the third day, September 12, it is opened up for those who met their standard by 10 minutes or more. On the fifth day, September 14, it is opened up for those who met their standard by 5 minutes or more. Each new group gets a chance to register provided the field size has not been met.

The second week of registration, starting on September 17, includes all qualifiers provided they reopen it. They will announce the evening of September 15 if they are reopening registration for all qualifiers. Then registration is typically open for a couple more days, and then they will announce if the field size has now been met and if they will be able to accept all qualifiers up to this point. With the exception of 2013, there have been too many applicants for the available spots and this is where it kind of sucks.

Because there are too many applicants, they have to determine where a cut-off needs to be. It's not first-come, first-serve, but rather based on how far under your qualifying time you were able to run. Last year was the strictest cut off since they began this new process, at 3 minutes, 23 seconds under your respective qualifying standard. So if you ran a 3:31:37 and you needed a 3:35 to qualify, you got in. But if you ran a 3:31:38, you did not. Pretty brutal!

It takes them over a week to determine what this cut off is going to be since it's based on how many register and who registers. I would imagine it's a nerve-wracking wait to find out if you are really getting in or if you'll have to try again next year.

I have a cushion of 5 minutes, 7 seconds, so I get to register on September 14. I will be on pins and needles waiting for the announcement on September 15 on if they will be reopening registrations for all qualifiers. If they do, then I know my cushion was big enough.

Greg has a cushion of 4 minutes, 43 seconds. So he has to wait until September 17 and will be one of those who is on pins and needles. However, I would imagine if they reopen, then that kind of cushion should be enough. You never know for sure until the announcement, but I think he'd be pretty safe.

I had an interesting road to my qualification. My first shot at it, at Mississippi Gulf Coast, ended in disappointment not because I didn't run fast enough, but because the course was mismarked and came up short. I calculated that had it been accurate I probably would've qualified with about a 4:10 cushion, not fast enough to avoid the dreaded wait. But because Boston is not accepting any times for that race, I had to run another qualifying time. I did that in Baton Rouge a few weeks later, and ended up with a bigger cushion that what I would've had in Mississippi. While at the time, the shock of a messed up course was agonizing after all that hard work and a great race, it could end up being a blessing in disguise. I honestly don't think I would've pushed as hard at the Louisiana Marathon knowing I had already qualified with over 4 minutes to spare. Or maybe I would've wanted that 5 minutes. I just don't know for certain. Instead, I HAD TO qualify to actually get the opportunity to apply to run Boston. Wouldn't it be crazy if the cut off is 4:15 or something like that? I'm not sure I would've been fast enough in Mississippi! That truly would've sucked.

So there you have it. The crazy Boston Marathon registration process.

They will also be indicating if there will be any changes to the qualification standards for future races. Will they toughen the standards again? Should they? I'm in the camp that thinks they should toughen the standards starting in 2021, particularly if it's a very large cut off again this year. But maybe it'll be smaller and they won't feel the need to tighten things. It certainly would give me a kick in the pants to push myself even harder in the coming years if I want to continue to qualify.

*****

And now....here we are on Monday, September 17, and they did reopen registration for all qualifiers, but they very clearly stated that they would only take a "small percentage" of Week 2 submissions. The cut off is going to be massive. Greg is sitting on a 4:43 under and he registered this morning. He will need to wait about 9 days to find out if it's enough. I think he'll be just fine and we will REALLY celebrate when he gets that email!

Training Update

For crap's sake, I'm ready for the cold temperatures of fall and winter.

This summer has SUCKED!! I don't remember the last time I ran in weather that was under 75 degrees. I had a taste of a sub-70 dew point last week and it was glorious, but once in dozens of training runs is definitely not enough!

Give me frozen boogers and numb fingers, please.

Of course, when that actually happens, I'll be wishing for tank top running weather. Isn't that how it always is?

I am in Week 9 of California International Marathon training and it's going well. Not spectacular because, like I said, the weather sucks and I'm pretty much totally sick of "80 degrees at 5:30am" training runs. But I am not injured, my endurance is really good, and I'm enjoying training nonetheless.

I just wish I could see my speed and know where I really truly stand with my marathon goals. Pretty hard to do that when it's so oppressive and it takes major discipline to keep my heart rate in control during 18 mile training runs, discipline that means I'm running pretty slow so I don't burn out and overdo it and end up injured.

Let's talk some positives now....

My heart rate data is better than last year, and yet the weather is worse. I'm consistently keeping a lower average heart rate during easy, recovery, and long runs. This morning I ran 8 miles and tried to keep a faster cadence and push a bit more than a very easy run, but never looked at my watch data. At the end of the run my average heart rate was 129, solidly Zone 1 and 2. But I was quicker than usual (not fast, definitely not fast!). For it being 100% humidity out and a pretty long run for mid week, I'd say that was great!

My interval times are faster. It might not seem like much to see a half mile interval split faster than this time last year when you compare that to racing 26.2 miles, but it's still a positive data point.

I'm putting in higher volume earlier in training and I'm not dying (yet) from it.

It's so easy for a marathoner to get burned out trying to train in the summer, and it's hard to see fitness improvements when you know you're running way slower than ability because of the weather constraints. I like to keep a few things in mind while I train through this and wait for cooler temps. First, it's okay to be slow right now. It's okay for the intervals to be a bit shorter right now. It's okay to ease into goal pace work during long runs. My main concern is building my endurance and watching my effort level, to becoming comfortable with faster paces during intervals, to watching my heart rate trends and seeing them move in a positive direction week over week, and to take my recovery very, very seriously.

When the temps start trending down this upcoming week, I am hoping to see my training improve with regards to pace vs effort level. I think I saw a glimpse of that this morning. Plus, if last Friday's run in better weather is any indication, this improvement should be pretty noticeable. I have a long run planned this weekend with four goal marathon pace miles. I'm actually looking forward to this because it should give me a lot of good feedback to use in my future training weeks. The temps will hopefully be a few degrees cooler than they have been but even if they aren't, it's *only* four race pace miles. I can do four!

I'm pushing myself into 45+ mile weeks now, and a 200 mile month for September. Next month I have two races planned to gauge my fitness. On October 7 is a 10 mile race and on October 28 is a half marathon. I have never raced a 10 miler before, but I have an idea of how I want to approach it. What I'm really curious about is how fast I can run a half marathon. My PR is old as dirt and I haven't broken 1:50 yet and I haven't ever attempted it. I really REALLY want to obliterate 1:50. So Houston, could you pretty please give me good racing conditions on October 28? K thanks.

Things for me to keep in mind as these weeks get tougher leading up to my December 2 marathon:

1. Consistency. Show up and do work everyday, whether it's a hard effort or a recovery run. Every run has importance and I need to take them all seriously. My friends will just have to understand why I can't stay late at that party on Saturday night.

2. Self care. More sleep, better eating habits, consistent hydration, stretching and rolling. Keep the damn cookies away from me. I ain't eating them!

3. Recovery. Why do people have such a hard time with this concept? If you ran hard every single time you laced up your shoes, you would never improve! Recovery effort is Zone 1! If that means you run 11:00 pace when your marathon pace is 8:45, then that's what you run. Truthfully in the summer I find it pretty hard to stay completely in Zone 1, but trust me when I say I am crawling and I'm not even breathing heavy in very low Zone 2 so I cut myself some slack here. I am totally in love with runs like this.

4. Warm up. That first mile is a really easy one, for every single run. When I take that seriously, the rest of my run goes so much better. I'm almost 45 years old. I need to warm up, dammit. On Tuesdays when we do our intervals and tempo runs, our first mile is often well over 11:00 pace. We take it very easy and incorporate drills a few minutes in. When we start our first speed interval, our bodies are ready for it. This will be especially important to do prior to any race start.

5. Believing in myself. It might seem crazy to consider approaching 8:30 pace for a marathon, but at one point I thought under 8:50 pace was insane, and I did it twice in five weeks. I'm in better shape now and I have to believe I'm capable of improvement.

6. Celebrating the small victories. Was my pace 10 sec/mile faster at the same effort compared to my run two weeks ago? That's a victory! Did I maintain Zone 2 over three hours into my long run? Victory! Did 7:30 pace during my interval feel almost easy compared to last week? Another victory! Every little improvement gives me more confidence to take into the next run.

I have 88 more days until California International Marathon. 12 weeks, 4 days. Lots of time to train, to get stronger, to get more confident.