New Year New You?

 I hate New Year's Resolutions. They're cheesy. They don't stick. And why wait until a new year to make a change you know needs to happen?

But here I am, knowing I need to do SOMETHING in this new year.

I'm 14+ months out from my horrible shoulder surgery. Physically I'm fine. Mentally, I'm messed up. That injury and surgery, followed by a hip problem and personal life stress really put me through the wringer in 2021. I just couldn't get a good grasp on it.

I ran my 17th marathon on December 12 and while it was much slower than my personal bests, it was a fairly consistent effort. I was weak, however, and I don't like how that felt. Come to find out that I got Covid while on our trip and got very ill right after the race. This virus messed with my respiratory system for three weeks. Probably didn’t help that I depleted my body’s defenses in a marathon. I got everyone else in my family, including my mom, sick as well. I backed out of my January marathon, after first downgrading to the half. I had to throw in the towel when the virus wouldn't go away.

I'm not very pleased with how my training cycle went. I know I bit off more than I could chew and I tried adjusting when I knew I needed to. I struggled to come to terms with my new limitations and my slower pace. I didn't do everything I could have to fix these things, and for that I'm quite regretful. I'm usually stronger and more motivated than that and it's frustrating to see so much weakness creep into my life and training. 

I suppose a lot of this is understandable. I'm struggling with coming to terms with this "pandemic" and the continued failed response to it. I don't have the stomach for tyranny and I'm sickened by the mental toll this has all taken on society, particularly on our kids....including my own. I'm exhausted. A really smart man I follow on social media said everything lately was "hyberbolic, partisan, exaggerated, and exhausting" and he definitely accurately described it. I just want a break for our country. So yeah, it's hurting me in many ways and that has creeped into my passions and I'm frankly pissed off.

So now that my training cycle is over (which coincides with the new year), it's time for me to take stock of how it went. What worked? What definitely didn't work? What do I need to do more of? Less of? What's holding me back? How do I fix that?

I ordered a training log/journal and am excited to receive it and start writing in it. I'm brainstorming in my head in the meantime on what I need to do right now before I even think of a new training cycle.

First....MORE STRENGTH TRAINING

Once I was done with physical therapy sessions, I let this slide. I did the bare minimum and as my mileage increased, the strength training decreased. Big mistake. This MUST be a priority. So for the next few months, I'll be strength training at least 3 times per week.

Second....SPEED WORK

I obviously did a lot of speedwork in my marathon training, but I want to focus on shorter and faster sessions rather than so much marathon and half marathon paced work. I think that combined with more strength training will set me up well for my next training cycle. 

Third....FIND PURPOSE ELSEWHERE

This is kind of hard to describe. I'm feeling a bit like I'm flailing around in the world, without a definitive place for myself. My husband is our provider, my kids are both in school, my son is figuring out his future after college....they all have a specific PLACE. I don't have a career at the moment, something that is intentional for our family, but it does also mean that I struggle with how I can feel purposeful. Without purpose, we can quickly lose ourselves. I know that I am important to my family....there are a lot of things that I provide that help them in their own endeavors that are not tied to money or work or school. But it's not very tangible and that bugs me some days. I'd like to better define my purpose....yes, that seems very obscure and open-ended, but it's the best way I can describe it right now. This doesn't directly align with training as it does with just being a more well-rounded person, in a way strengthening my mind as much as I'm strengthening my body.

Fourth...PRIORITIZE SLEEP AND RECOVERY

Simply put....I didn't get enough sleep. Since my marathon and my illness, I've been sleeping upwards of 9 hours per night and my body is still craving that level of sleep, so apparently I needed it. 

Fifth...BETTER MEAL PREP

I typically do eat very well, and I'm particular about ingredients. But when I spend just a little extra time meal planning and prepping the week tends to go better for me physically and mentally. When I am fueling regularly and properly, it comes out positively in my mood and my training. I have the time....I just need to prioritize that time.

I think this is a good start to getting a handle on getting out of my physical and mental funk. Baby steps leads to big gains, as long as we are consistent and intentional! 

Being our own worst enemy + Training update

There's something about writing on this blog that I find so therapeutic and helpful, particularly during training. Life throws a lot of curveballs, and my mind isn't exactly the most reliable when it comes to navigating through things...I often don't cope well. But as I'm training, my mind sometimes works a million miles an hour, and I like to get those thoughts out on the blog as often as I can. Looking back at old posts during each cycle can definitely give me new insights and motivations to keep working harder, and this often translates to how I deal with other areas of my life. It's a pretty big win for me.

One topic I've been thinking so much about....probably because I struggled with it in the past pretty often....is how we sabotage ourselves.

There are so many things that can derail training...illness, weather, emergencies...but after 11 years of doing this marathon thing, what I have found is that the biggest obstacle to a great training cycle is OURSELVES.

We are truly our own worst enemies.

When you sign up for a race, you have made a big commitment. Sometimes it seems a bit overwhelming, particularly if it's a long distance race like a marathon or Ironman. But you succeeded at the first step of committing.

After securing a coach and/or a training plan, obtaining the proper equipment, and taking a deep breath, it's time to dive into training. 

And then the excuses begin, right?

Why did I think I could do this?

I'm not fit enough.

The weather sucks.

I feel like crap.

I overslept.

Why did I eat that? 

I'm so slow.

I'm sore.

With the exception of the weather conditions (let's face it, we live in Texas and the weather will always be a crapshoot), we are in control of all those other excuses and hindrances to good training.

Yes, you can do it. If you train properly.

Yes, you will be fit enough. If you train properly.

The weather sucks but so what? Race day might bring the same kind of weather. 

Of course you feel like crap. You're human. Unless you're truly sick, get out there and try.

So you forgot to set it or you turned off your alarm instead of getting out of bed like you committed to. Either get out there now or commit to an afternoon or evening workout. Oversleeping doesn't get you out of training.

Why DID you eat that if you knew it would make you sluggish? Some foods are delicious, sure, but they will definitely work against you sometimes. So skip it. You won't die.

The only person who cares about your pace is you. I wish I was a 6 minute miler, too, but unless it's for a half mile, I'm just not and nobody cares. No matter our pace, we can get out there and compete and enjoy ourselves. Also? If you train right, you'll get faster.

Of course you're sore. You're in training. But the better you train, the less likely you'll be sore after a hard workout. Or you can just do a recovery workout. But get out there anyway.

I have probably used all these excuses and then some over the years. But two years ago I told myself to stop sabotaging my training.

Did I commit to a plan? Well, then I'm sticking to it (unless sick or dealing with an emergency, of course).

Unless there's lightning or dangerous ice, I'll be out there training...or at the gym. I have options.

Sometimes I'm going to wake up not at all wanting to train, but I will still get up and do my best and 9 out of 10 times, I feel a million times better when I'm done.

If I oversleep or choose to stay in bed, I know that it might mess me up for that training day if I don't commit to doing the workout later in the day. But I also know that my training is structured in a certain way and messing with it too much is a disservice to me and could bite me in the ass.

Do I want the chocolate cake? Sure I do! But I also know there are other healthy sweet options that will curb my sweet tooth and not work against me. It's possible to say no to sweets and foods that don't allow you to perform at your best, I promise you, and it's really not that big of deal and you won't really miss them much.

As for speed, well.....I'm really only competing with myself. I've done the research on how to improve my speed and I know it doesn't happen overnight. Chipping away at it every day will reap huge rewards later, so I know I just need to hang in there and show up everyday. The speed will come and there's no use whining about it today (I might still whine, though).

Sometimes after a really tough workout, I am sore. Like very sore. That doesn't get me out of my workout today or tomorrow. Chances are, it will help me to be LESS sore. So I stop whining (mostly) and I get to work.

It's easy to let the negative thoughts overpower the positive ones. We are human. But we must train our minds to focus on what we CAN do and not where we are lacking. There are far more variables within our control than there are left up to chance. Focus on that! Control what you can!

When I was frustrated and fed up with years of bad races, I vowed to pull myself out of it. I looked at everything I could control: my nutrition, my medications, my schedule (to a point, of course...life happens and I get that), my attitude, my priorities, my strengths. And I got to work. Every time I had a win (whether it was one pound or inch lost, a healthy snack I chose, a faster interval workout, better heart rate data on a run, a better night's sleep, picking up a heavier weight at the gym)....I celebrated it, since every little win was a positive and an improvement. It did me no good to dwell on the negatives or the things out of my control. It's HARD to shut that off, but over time you CAN do that.

When I got injured in September, it messed with my head BIG TIME. When I was able to get back to training I had lost a lot of fitness and had missed two races. But if I chose to complain about it everyday versus plugging away workout by workout, I never would have been able to get to where I was on my January 20 race day, where I shaved two minutes off a six year-old half marathon PR. And now, seven weeks from my next marathon, I'm seeing my hard work paying off little by little. I get out there everyday and do my prescribed workout, and on rest days I relish in the relaxation while my body gets stronger.

It all comes together when we choose to stop sabotaging our efforts.

Even after my half marathon, I had a few doubts creeping in on whether or not I'd be BQ ready for Boston, even though my race time translated to being on the cusp. But that race was very, very hard for me. I don't think even my BQ marathon felt that hard. I needed to get away from this mindset. I needed to have a few breakthrough workouts so I could see a glimpse of what was possible.

That's exactly what has happened. My last three interval workouts have been some of my best ever. I've averaging in the low-7's for 3-4 miles of intervals and I'm feeling great. My recovery intervals are mostly all jogging rather than big chunks of walking, and my VO2 max has climbed after being somewhat stagnant for a few weeks. All of this is happening during a 200 mile month, which is A LOT of miles for me.

I have my first 20 miler of the cycle this weekend and I'm looking forward to seeing how I feel. It's just a simple easy pace run, no workout built into it, so the pressure of pace is off. I'm focusing strictly on perceived effort and trying to dial in a comfortable pace.

I'm also finding that with this increase in mileage, I am HUNGRY ALL THE TIME. I ate three lunches today, for crying out loud! I am at my racing weight and know that I need to up my calories so I don't lose anymore weight. Just a terrible problem to have, right?

53 more days.

Control

As I was finishing up my last blog post, another topic formed in my mind that I feel the need to write out and work through. In case you haven't noticed, my mind works in overdrive sometimes and having this blog is a great way to dissect these thoughts.

I talked a bit about how important it is for me to focus on the things I can control in my life. I have so many things that are total crapshoots for me on a daily basis that without something concrete to focus on, I'd literally lose my mind.

For starters, my kids. Oh, my darling kids. Mind you, I love them with all of my being. I think they have incredible minds, incredible talents, and with a bit of direction, are really going places in this world. But parenting them is far more difficult than I ever envisioned. They are smart as can be, so I thought school would be a breeze for them.

Nope.

They have a ton of talent...my son is a computer whiz and my daughter is fully immersed in the arts - she can sing like nobody's business and her artistic talent is being fine tuned on a daily basis. So of course, they'd be super focused on success because of this, right?

Nope.

It's frustrating. That's putting it mildly. Actually, it absolutely kills me. It stresses me out like nothing else in my life that they always manage to find a way to get distracted, to not care, to perform less than they know they're capable of. I have absolutely no control over this, and I refuse to be a helicopter parent no matter how much the school pushes me to micro-manage them. I've spent years trying to find a balance between guiding them, hovering over them, harping on them, and talking about it until I'm blue in the face, while forcing them to take control of it themselves, to be responsible, and to allow them to fail and learn a lesson. I can't do the work for them, I can't force them to care, I can merely guide them and support them. Basically, it's totally out of my control and my mind wrestles with this on a daily basis.

So that's my kids for you. I don't have control over what they choose to care about or on what they focus their attention, but I have control over accepting them for who they are and supporting all their successes and their failures.

My kids are only a part of the uncertainty that surrounds me on a daily basis. There are so many things that I struggle with personally, and find difficulty in controlling. I have come to accept many of these variables, however, but it was a long process.

First, mental health. For a very long time I was unaware that I suffered from depression and anxiety and that it was an actual disorder that I would be struggling with for the rest of my life. I always viewed my "bouts" with depression and anxiety as just that....temporary bouts. It wasn't until a few years ago, that, after discussing it at length with my doctor, I was found to be clinically depressed and suffering from a legitimate anxiety disorder. Temporary fixes wouldn't make it go away. I would always have to be proactive about treatment and I could not be complacent. I'm so thankful for the counselor that I found who worked with me in those early days to come to terms with this problem and find ways to reset my mind. I'm thankful for my doctor for taking me seriously and then opening my eyes to reality, and spending time reworking my medication so I finally found one that my body could tolerate long term.

Anyone who suffers from mental health disorders understands just how significant all these steps are. I have accepted that this who I am, I have a husband who supports me daily and understands when it's just "not my day...or my week" and doesn't make me feel guilty about it, and I continue to find ways to battle through the dark times without giving in to that darkness.

I do not have control over my diagnoses, but I have control over how I let it run my life.

Next, the negativity in the world. I gotta be honest here. I think the way people have treated each other in the last couple years...publicly...is just insane. It's disgusting and unnecessary and it shows a complete lack of character. The name calling, the lack of common sense, the lack of decency, the inability to really think about what they're saying and doing. It blows my mind. I can't control what other people think or do or say, but I certainly don't have to join them in their immaturity and irrational behavior. It's forced me to remove people from my life (trust me, I only did this after a lot of soul searching), and to avoid some people, and to keep my mouth shut about many things. I want to be known for my compassion and grace, not for being a raging bitch when I don't agree with someone. So I've quieted my mind and my mouth. It's truly a freeing experience.

Lastly, let's talk about physical health. I am a healthy person...mostly. However, what isn't so obvious on the outside is that I do suffer from many physical ailments, and my family medical history is downright frightening. I have asthma, eosinophilic esophagitis and dysphagia, and scoliosis. My family has suffered with countless bouts of cancer, high blood pressure and cholesterol, and diabetes. I sometimes feel like I'm on borrowed time because I've not yet experienced anything truly life threatening. My disorders are incredibly frustrating at times, however. I had hoped in the last year to put myself as a priority and work on a better solution to my gastrointestinal issues, but because of my family's medical woes in the last year and the astronomical amount of money we were spending on that, I had to put myself on the backburner. I really need to get treatment again (surgery or meds? both? not sure). I finally said enough is enough and I scheduled doctor appointments with a new team of doctors after I was dissatisfied with my last one. That appointment is on Monday and I'm optimistic that I will see relief soon. It's been a long time coming and it was time to put myself first. With regards to my asthma, thankfully, with the weight loss and more focused marathon training last year, I feel like I've made big strides with improvement and better control of my asthma. I didn't have any real trouble with it. However, my allergies that lead to asthma issues need to be addressed in a more permanent manner. I finally scheduled the appointment I will need to begin allergy shots. It's a huge commitment but it was time I stopped putting it off. The scoliosis? Yeah, that's not exactly going away, and because of the imbalance it creates in my lower body, I have to be extra diligent with physical therapy exercises and weight lifting to keep my imbalance from causing running injuries.

My family medical history is probably one of the biggest motivators to me taking charge of my physical health. I can't control genetic predispositions to anything, but I can still do whatever I can to fight off other preventable diseases. I refuse to be limited by things that I am 100% in control over, and when I've seen things start to go sideways I always try to right the ship by putting more focus and effort into nutrition and exercise. To people on the outside, I seem obsessed. I really don't care. I know how devastating preventable illnesses can be and if it's something I can control, well, then that's what I'm going to do. I have a lot of plans for the present and the future and I don't want any limitations.

I guess the moral of the story is that when you're feeling completely overwhelmed by things outside your control, sometimes what can bring you back from the abyss is finding those things that you CAN control and putting more focus into those. It can be something small, or many small things, or something big. But there is always something that is within your control. Taking hold of that can help you reset your mind and bring a bright spot into what can many times be a very dark and dreary time.

Unlucky #13 but I still won - THE FINALE

Now that the race is over, my stats have been analyzed, my emotions all over the damn place, it's time to truly reflect on the past several months.

(Note: For the purpose of my analysis, I'm using my adjusted Mississippi Gulf Coast time of 3:50:54 rather than my official shortened-course time of 3:48:19.)

How did I got from a marathon PR of 4:17:53 all the way down to 3:50:54? This equates to a time difference of 26:59, or 1:02/mile. It's been nearly four years since I ran that 4:17 marathon, and since then I've run a 4:21, 4:25, and 4:35. Not exactly stellar times, especially when I'm a much stronger runner at shorter distances.

The last few years haven't been too kind to me on the running front, and it's been a two year long battle to come back to better shape and better mental strength. When the weather in Baton Rouge in January forced me to hold back, I had to abandon my PR and run smart and slow, which was a bummer. But even if I had "raced," I likely would not have run faster than a 4:10 or 4:15. When I ran in the Texas Independence Relay in March, I fell apart and was miserable. It pissed me off.

So then came April and I made the decision that this was not acceptable and I was going to completely change things up and get my sorry ass into shape and blow my marathon PR out of the water. I've written several blog posts since then about my journey to Sunday's race.

From my 4/20/17 blog: Are you ready for a marathon? And OMG I want to go to Boston

"I want to go to Boston. I want to qualify. My new age group qualification window opens up in September, and it gives me another 10 minute cushion for qualifying. But I still need to run a 3:55, and because of the demand of the race even that time will not be enough to gain entry. I will need to shoot for a 3:52. This is nearly a minute per mile faster than my fastest marathon. I have run a 1:51 half, when I was in fantastic shape, so I know the speed is there for me. I just need to tap into it and have a really great BQ race day.

I WANT TO GO TO BOSTON.

I'm laying the groundwork now for making this possible. I want this. I'm ready for this."

The journey had begun. 

Then I began writing about how my Training Plan took shape and started to progress from that early version to something even more intense.

From my 4/30/17 blog: Training Plan

"Writing all of this out is helping me to see the big picture. I'm still slightly terrified of the work ahead of me, but strangely excited. It will forever be so weird to me that this girl who never really did any sports growing up (well, I tried and I kind of sucked) is talking about running 800 miles in the second half of the year and tackling two more marathons by the time I hit my next birthday. Pretty damn cool."

From my 6/7/17 blog: Progress

"I know this means that all the work I'm putting in with regards to my nutrition and consistency and effort is paying off. My head is telling me I can do it and my body is responding. Huge boost for my mental game, that's for sure. Knowing my body is stronger and my lungs are working better than usual tells me that no matter what crazy workout Christine gives us, I can do it. This also means she's probably getting wise to me and will make me run faster."

From my 6/19/17 blog: Summer has arrived

"There's a time and place for race pace and faster runs. Long run weekend is not one of those, especially in this part of my training cycle and in the summer. I'm building up my base so my body is ready for more mileage. I added a fourth day to my running last week, and I have 4 weeks until the difficult training technically starts. As I get deep into training, some of my long runs will incorporate race pace miles, but usually no more than 30% of the run, and the rest of the miles will be at long run pace. Speed will happen during interval runs, tempo runs, races, track nights, and runs like those, but in order to properly prepare oneself for the rigors of the volume of marathon training, you have to allow yourself the luxury of recovery miles and long, slow miles. If I ran 8:58 pace day in and day out, at 40 or 50+ miles per week, I would be depleted on race day."

It was becoming more and more clear to me at this point that my strategy, while frustrating because it forced me to run over 10:00/mile pace, I had to stick to it and be patient.

From my 7/13/17 blog: Intentional Training

"I'm not stressing about my long run pace at all anymore, whereas I used to be so bummed if I didn't train at a certain pace all the time. By focusing more on my heartrate and cadence I'm able to steadily improve my aerobic fitness."

"Proper recovery from the tougher workouts is vital (yay recovery runs!) to be able to continue to perform well during those particularly hard weeks. I'm just continuing to chant that mantra of "easy pace, easy pace, easy pace" (no matter how much my teammates laugh at how anal I've become). My long slow runs are paying dividends during hard workouts and will (hopefully, oh pretty please) pay off on race day." 

 From my 8/13/17 blog: Trying to see the light

"I'm doing just fine with intervals, tempos, and hill repeat pacing. I can see all that improving, I can see my cardiovascular strength improving, and I know I'm making progress. But those 10+ minute long runs....ugh....I think realizing the benefit of long SLOW runs is a tough thing in general for marathoners to deal with. It's hard to see that when you run so much slower than goal pace, you're actually doing something good for yourself."

"I know that my biggest strength right now, besides my improvement in cardiovascular strength, is my attitude, and while I am struggling to push a few doubts away, I do really believe in myself. Most of the time, at least. But I'm also human and have anxiety and need to take a few deep breaths now and then to calm myself down. My attitude is a thousand times better than it's been in recent years and I'm trying so damn hard to hold onto that!"

From my 9/15/17 blog: It's the strangest thing

"I read an article titled 'Change your mindset to improve your race times.' It couldn't have come at a better time, right when I'm starting to incorporate race pace miles into my long run and I'm pushing myself harder during hard workouts now that the weather is better.

Be mindful of the deceptive paralysis that can take hold when you become intimidated by your increasingly faster paces.

Basically this means that we allow the fear of the faster paces we are running, and the daunting thought of actually running that in a race, hold us back on race day. We are physiologically capable of our goal, but our minds work against us and we fail to truly believe in our ability. We fear going 'balls to the wall' and then failing."

 It's fascinating to me to read all of this again and see my newfound strength taking shape as the training cycle progressed.

My my 10/6/17 blog: 9 more weeks

"The next few weeks will really see some serious commitment. 170 miles in October, 190 in November, and then tapering to December 10 race day. Tempos, long runs, track work, easy days, strength work, balance work....did I mention serious commitment?

This shit is so good for me. It's hard and I love it. I'm scared as hell of failing at my goals, but dammit I'm going to do everything I can to get myself to that starting line in the best shape of my life."

From my 11/10/17 blog: Hello Hell Week

"My training volume is more than I have ever done and I can't deny that I was really worried when I wrote the plan. I knew I needed higher volume to do what I want to do, but it frightened me to think of doing midweek long runs in addition to the REALLY long runs over the weekend, to sometimes run 6 days per week...and even 6 days in a row.

But I'm still alive and I'm right smack dab in the middle of hell. Last week I ran 54 miles, this week is 49 and next week is 54. Then I get to taper. November 19 can't come soon enough!"

From my 11/24/17 blog: Turkey Trot Badassery

"I'm so glad that I decided to race this. I was in a good position to run well, to shake my demons out one last time, and to finish out the rest of my marathon taper with really good thoughts in my head. Running 7:45 average for 5 miles was not nearly as hard as I expected it could be, so to add over a minute per mile to that pace and hold it for 26.2 seems very doable to me. So far the weather in Biloxi is looking great for the marathon. I will have rested legs and I'm at my best shape ever. My confidence is as good as it's going to get and I'm very happy."

From my 11/29/17 blog: The Home Stretch

"I need to keep remembering how all of this feels, that race pace is not a big deal to me, that I'm perfectly capable of dialing into that pace during my race and being okay. I really need to remember that I can run a marathon probably much faster than a 3:52 if I tried even harder. Because I can. Every single data point is telling me this.

And I need to STOP remembering that if I run my stretch goal, I will have taken an entire minute off my pace from my PR marathon. I need to STOP telling myself that people just don't do that. Because I'm perfectly capable to doing that. I made it my goal, I did the work, and the glory is right in front of me to take."

Wow....going through my posts since April was fun and crazy.

Do you want to run a fantastic marathon? Do you want to improve beyond what you thought possible? Everyone has different strengths, and some plans that work for others might not work for you. But I can tell you what I did and why I think it worked, and perhaps you can take some of this into your own training.

1. I lost weight. I lost over 10% of my bodyweight since April. I am probably well below 20% bodyfat and am my leanest ever. I did this by cutting out sugar. I didn't eat desserts, I didn't eat candy, I avoided it like the plague. Any sugar I got was in the form of cocktails, because let's be serious...this is marathon training and I needed a damn drink sometimes. I cut out most refined carbs and processed crap. I cooked with whole grains and no white sugar. I snacked on fruit. It was exactly what worked for my body to drop all the excess. I'm sure a big side effect of this was also being able to consistently feel strong in my workouts.

2. I was consistent. If I had to run that day, I did. I didn't get lazy. I respected the training plan and the process.

3. I significantly, but intelligently, increased my volume. I had been working on my base from April to July, when the training plan kicked in. By the time the harder workouts really hit and the 30+ mile weeks started, I had a very strong running base. Adding on the volume and intensity week after week was completely doable. I decided that to be serious, I needed to consistently be running 40-55 mile weeks during the final 10 weeks of training.

August miles: 131
September miles: 163
October miles: 167
November miles: 186

I ran 5-6 timed per week, every week, and sometimes 6 days in a row. The volume was high and relentless.

4. I respected recovery. In order to run at a high volume, I never ran two intense training runs consecutively. A typical week would consist of Monday recovery run (4-6 miles), Tuesday interval or tempo run (7 miles), Wednesday easy longer distance run (8-10 miles), Thursday track work (6-9 miles), Friday rest, Saturday easy run (4-8 miles), Sunday long run (with 3 runs over 3 hours). Goal race pace, for my stretch A goal of a 3:52 marathon, was 8:51 pace. My long runs rarely were below 10:00 pace, my recovery runs were more like 10:15-10:30 pace, but because I took it so easy on those days, my Tuesday and Thursday quality workouts were intense and I ran better than expected. My Sunday long run, even in high humidity and high temps, were strong up to the end of the run. When I incorporated some race pace miles into my long runs, I didn't have much trouble hitting the right pace.

It's a difficult thing for us to throw out our ego and run slow and admit we ran slow. It's so much more glamorous to post that we ran our long run at 8:45 pace instead of 10:15 pace. But you won't hit your goals if you overtax your body. Your hard run days will suffer. Your body simply can't sustain that kind of intensity and you won't be rewarded on race day if you tear your body down. The goal is to build your aerobic endurance. If you do that, you'll be amazed at what you can do on race day.

5. I paid attention to my heart rate. I needed to stay in Zone 2 or less for 70% of my running miles. Because of the summer/fall temps and humidity I would get into low Zone 3 during long runs, but not Zone 4. As the training progressed, I was finding that my heart rate average was steadily declining during quality workouts, so I was able to see that I could start to push even harder during those. I could hold a Zone 3 and 4 heart rate for longer and longer during tempo runs. By analyzing this data, it gave me the confidence that my fitness was heading into the right direction and I was on my way to achieving a much faster pace for a marathon.

6. I took care of my body with non-running work. Strength training, balance work, physical therapy to work on my imbalances, foam rolling, stretching. All of this was vital to keep my body in tip top shape and injury free.

7. I believed in myself. Half the battle during a marathon is mental, not physical. During the last 10K, while your body is definitely fatiguing, most people give up their pace because they allow their minds to screw with them. They forget to trust their training and they give in to all the doubts. But with the right kind of training under your belt, you don't have to allow this to happen. It's not easy, but a slow down in the second half of a marathon is not inevitable. As a matter of fact, with the right training, you should be able to run a negative split race. You HAVE TO believe that. You HAVE TO trust your training. You HAVE TO believe that you are strong beyond measure.

8. I had nothing to lose. During the race on Sunday, which you can read about in yesterday's blog, I went out from Mile 1 with the intention of RACING. There was no real warm up in those early miles, no super slow miles to ease into the distance, like there has been in every other marathon of mine. It was great weather, it was a great course, and I had absolutely nothing to lose by racing fiercely and fearlessly.

I had put in the work, I knew I had tapered the previous three weeks properly, I had so much training volume under my belt, I knew what pace I was capable of, I knew I could probably run even faster, so that is exactly what I allowed my body to do. I felt good, I was running miles faster than my racing plan, but I didn't let that scare me. I kept at it and kept running faster and knew that even if I slowed a little at the end, that I had done everything I could do meet my goal. I ran a negative split race, just like I planned.

I HAD TO BE FEARLESS. 

I CRUSHED MY DAMN RACE. I ran a Boston Qualifying marathon by a long shot. I basically secured my starting place in Hopkington on April 15, 2019 (until the course was de-certified, unfortunately).

So today, four days post marathon, I am attacking my new plan with fervor. In 31 days I will once again get to a marathon start line with my plan to crush my Boston Qualifying time. As a matter of fact, I want to crush my shortened course time of 3:48:19, which would require me running an 8:43 average pace. I absolutely can do this. My legs feel great, I am ready to ease into running again, starting tonight, and my heart is ready to embrace this journey once again.

Intentional Training

Every year I learn a little more about myself, about marathons, and about effective training. For years I merely trained to finish the race, occasionally with a time goal or the goal of a new personal best, even if by only seconds. I knew in my heart that I had more talent than what is shown in my race results. Sometimes weather was the factor, sometimes illness (yes, I have plenty of bad luck on race day), sometimes I ran with friends, and sometimes it really was "for fun" or to finish happy. I was definitely better at coaching other runners than myself.

Last year, after a two year marathon hiatus and some health problems, I got back into the marathon game. Because I had lost speed and fitness, I was not in personal best shape when I set out on my journey to Louisiana. Through hard work and a tough training schedule I turned it around and knew that I could beat my 4:17:53 best time, but probably just barely. While race day weather didn't allow for that, and because I was still in the process of figuring out how best to handle my asthma in humid conditions, I couldn't push myself as hard as I wanted to without it being detrimental to my health. I am still happy with the race, although it was very far off my goal. It allowed me to come into this current training season with more mental strength than I've had in all previous marathons.

Back in April I made the choice that this was my year to be in my best shape ever. After feeling so miserable on our relay at the end of March, I knew it was time to make big changes. I got my medication problems figured out, I got my nutrition figured out, I lost weight and gained muscle, and because of all this work over the last three months, I am a much better runner. I've written about my progress a bit in previous blog posts. My training officially starts on Monday and I am ready for it. I have spent the last few months building my aerobic fitness in the warm summer conditions and slowly building speed through our interval and hill workouts. I got back on my bike and I got back into the gym on a more consistent basis. While our weather has decidedly taken a turn for the worse over the last month, my ability to handle it has increased positively. I am running just as well in the heat as I did in the cold and I'm still gaining speed. It's the first time this has ever happened to me in my decade of running in Texas. I no longer dread our workouts when it's 80 degrees out and the dew point is in the 70s. I know it will be uncomfortable, but I also know that my body can handle it....FINALLY.

You really have no idea how incredible this feeling is, not only physically, but MENTALLY. Knowing that I don't have to necessarily suffer through the summer is huge! Don't get me wrong...it is very uncomfortable running Thursday nights in triple digit heat (even though we do run in the shade), and I'd really prefer not having to try to beat the heat by running my long runs at 6am. But I am definitely more comfortable with the uncomfortable than I have ever been. Please let this feeling last!

I've also become much more intentional and focused with all aspects of my training. I'm better about wearing my heart rate monitor to be sure I'm not overdoing it in the heat, and to see if I'm adapting to the training. I'm analyzing my splits more than I probably ever have to look for improvement, even small improvement. I had to purchase a new multi-sport Garmin and finally upgraded to a Bluetooth capable model, the 920xt (thanks to my dear friend Doug!), and it's changed everything for me! My data analysis is now on a whole new level and I'm not sure why I suffered with the 910xt for as long as I did (okay, I didn't suffer. That watch was fantastic. I just sucked at syncing it to Garmin Connect). Being able to see how the watch can estimate my VO2 max (47!) and laugh at its race predictor (3:31 marathon my ass) is pretty darn cool. I've only worn it for a few runs so far, so I'm still assuming that marathon prediction will increase significantly with more run data, although it keeps getting faster so far. Strange watch.

Training like this has taken so much weight off my shoulders. I'm not stressing about my long run pace at all anymore, whereas I used to be so bummed if I didn't train at a certain pace all the time. By focusing more on my heartrate and cadence I'm able to steadily improve my aerobic fitness. Looking back on runs from years ago, my heart rate was ridiculous. I was burning myself out and not even realizing it. I'm consistently running on average with a heart rate probably 20 beats per minute less than I was back in those early marathon days. By being so specific with my easy/long run training, my body is efficiently feeding its muscles and burning fat as fuel. This is where the bulk of marathon training should fall. Because of the summer heat I can't always keep my heart rate quite this low (my target is keeping it below 140, or at least under that for the average), particularly running up hills, but that's okay. A heart rate a bit higher will help me build my cardiorespiratory capacity and improve my muscle strength and this is the zone I'll probably spend the most time in on race day. Several of my long runs down the road will include portions at race pace in order to simulate the feeling for race day. Then there are the tough runs...intervals and hill sprints. This is where I get into the anaerobic zone, and therefore improve my lactate threshold and performance. Proper recovery from the tougher workouts is vital (yay recovery runs!) to be able to continue to perform well during those particularly hard weeks. I'm just continuing to chant that mantra of "easy pace, easy pace, easy pace" (no matter how much my teammates laugh at how anal I've become). My long slow runs are paying dividends during hard workouts and will (hopefully, oh pretty please) pay off on race day.

Being okay with that pace and with that heat index is a long process

The crazy thing about analyzing the data is being able to quantify how I'm getting more efficient, while still getting faster. Tuesday's interval workout was a beast, but my heartrate never got into the red zone, not even once! My highest heart rate was 163 and the average stayed under 150. I was working very hard and practically threw up a couple times from the effort, but knowing that I technically was not overtaxing my system is a huge bonus (I'm going to chalk the pukey feeling to the Gatorade I drank after the previous night's bike ride....I have very little sugar in my diet but really needed the rehydration after the heat, so Gatorade it was....and it was so delicious). Being able to see this kind of data is helping me during each hard run. Even through the discomfort I know I can do it, even when my brain is trying to tell me I need to give up. I also realize that I can push myself even harder at our next interval workout.

Shit is getting serious starting on Monday. Every week my miles will increase. There are some weeks when I am running 6 days, and I'm not going to like it very much. But there's a Boston Qualifier inside of me and I need to find her and push her and make her do what's she's capable of doing.

Also, please be good to me on December 10, Mississippi weather. Pretty please.

Training Plan

I've written a lot of marathon training plans, and for the most part I've been pretty happy with them. I think that I was more prepared for this year's Louisiana Marathon than I have been for past races, and it is just really unfortunate that the nasty weather prevented me from pushing myself harder. However, I don't regret adjusting my pace from the start of that race...I didn't bonk, I had some great middle miles, I didn't overheat despite the weather, I finished feeling better than I expected and overall I am pleased with my splits from the race. Do I wish it was 20+ minutes faster? Heck yes. That part will always bug me.

I ran more miles during that training than I ever have, with my two highest mileage months ever leading up to the race. The high mileage worked and I'm sticking with it for my December and January marathons.

I just finished writing my training plan and I'm both excited and slightly terrified of it. It will require constant, unrelenting running (imagine that), consistent strength training, a super strong core, and throughout all this I need to NOT GET INJURED. Hence the consistent strength training and super strong core. I've been running marathons for 8+ years...time to stop beating around the bush and instead throw myself into a training cycle that will seriously push my boundaries.

So how am I approaching this training cycle?

The plan starts in mid-July. The first marathon, Mississippi Gulf Coast, hits at the end of Week 21. Then five weeks later I run the second marathon, Louisiana. I don't necessarily need six months of training, but writing out those early weeks to ensure I get proper base mileage works well for me. When the harder weeks of actual training hit in August and September I will know I am ready.

Because it's peak of summer during those first weeks, there will be crosstraining in the form of cycling and (hopefully) swimming. I say "hopefully" because I am the world's most pathetic triathlete and I haven't even gotten in the pool. I actually got back on my bike this week and mostly enjoyed it, so that needs to continue. Ideally I want to be on my bike two times per week. Not exactly hardcore triathlon training but good for marathon training, and especially good for injury prevention. Somewhere in here a sprint triathlon would be so great.

The plan builds in mileage until I am consistently running 40+ mile weeks. I peak at 50 miles three weeks before Mississippi. At 180 miles, November will be my highest mileage month ever. Between October and November I will run 355 miles. I WILL WEAR OUT A PAIR OF RUNNING SHOES IN ONLY TWO MONTHS (Sorry, husband). In the 15 days leading up to and including my 22 mile run, I will run 117 miles. I'm going to need more tacos.

Faster runners run more than I will be running, but I am not fast (yet). I will be on my feet for hours upon hours every week, so 50 miles in my peak week sounds about right to me. For Louisiana I ran 42 miles peak week, and about 100 in the 15 days or so leading up to and including my 22-miler. I do anticipate being a bit faster for this training cycle (and if everything comes together like I hope, I will be quite a bit faster). We are upping the game this time around. For my last few marathons I've run three 20-22 milers and I will stick to that formula as it's worked very well for me, much better than those early marathons when I ran only one 20-21 miler. Probably going to also need more bacon.

I'm running five days per week. For years I ran 4 days per week, but enough with that nonsense. The back to back running days for Louisiana training did wonders for my mental strength. While the high mileage weeks were hard, they got easier as the training progressed and I got better and better on fatigued legs. I still remember finishing my 22 miler in that training cycle and feeling relief at a job well done. I had pushed through the the hardest part of my plan, and the 22 miler fell on the worst weather day all week, 100% humidity and topping out at 75 degrees when I was finished....which pretty much saved my ass when Louisiana's weather was identical on race day. Not only had I prepared my legs, but my head told me I could do it and that is half the battle on race day.

There is no way I will be able to accomplish this kind of training if I don't continue clean up other parts of my life. I completely changed how I fueled last year and it worked very well. My health improved dramatically. I will continue on that path, and continue to improve it further. Consistent hydration will be key, especially in those earlier summer months. The heat really won't leave the area until October so I'll have plenty of long runs in less-than-ideal temps. I can't screw up my hydration.

I am not overweight at all, but I will need to be leaner. I want to be faster and at my very fastest a few years ago I was quite lean and strong and I plan to get back to that. I felt great and running faster was much more effortless and I seriously miss that. I do need to remind myself that I wasn't even 40 then and I'm 43 now (turning 44 when I run Louisiana). Age might play a factor but I'm going to fight it as best as I can. I've already started the changes I need to make and I'm feeling great about them. I've had some really good gym sessions in the weeks since my March relay, and it's starting to show. My weight has dropped while my strength has increased. Planning ahead will be key but I'm not super consistent with that. Always room for improvement!

Sleep. I need to sleep. So much sleep. Naps are great.

RECOVERY IS SO IMPORTANT. I need to keep repeating that to myself. RECOVERY RECOVERY RECOVERY. Rest days need to remain rest days. Post-run fueling, foam rolling, stretching can't be skipped. I must remain injury free. My imbalances have really pissed me off in recent years but through every training cycle I understand them more and more. I have learned so much on what to apply to my strength and core training to fight these imbalances and keep my body running well. Did I mention there needs to be consistency? I might be a broken record but I have to keep telling myself this.

It's daunting to think of running through the Texas summer and yet trying to get faster. I might not see gains right away or very consistently, but with added lean muscle and (hopefully) fewer pounds on my frame I know those gains will show in spades as the cooler weather comes in the fall.

Writing all of this out is helping me to see the big picture. I'm still slightly terrified of the work ahead of me, but strangely excited. It will forever be so weird to me that this girl who never really did any sports growing up (well, I tried and I kind of sucked) is talking about running 800 miles in the second half of the year and tackling two more marathons by the time I hit my next birthday. Pretty damn cool.

Bring on the tacos.

Knock that crap off!

As I work with more and more clients and interact with more people on social media regarding fitness, I come across some interesting ideas and beliefs about weight loss. Some are pretty sound, some make total sense, and some....well, frankly, some just make me cringe. While I suppose I could correct some misinformation, I tend to hold back. I don't want to be "that person."

So instead....I'll write a blog post! I'm here to bust some myths about weight loss and get you to think differently about how to achieve your goals. I bet I'll even give you a goal or two you didn't even think you had.

Over the decades we've been bombarded with various weight loss secrets, diets, fads, fitness crazes, and everything in between, that guarantee quick weight loss. They focus solely on WEIGHT LOSS, but as we gain more and more knowledge, fitness professionals know that the number on the scale is only part of the picture.

I MUST GET TO A CERTAIN WEIGHT

There are so many times when I wish we could just throw out the scale. I understand it's importance when you are very overweight or obese, but there comes a point where the number becomes very unimportant. I weigh about 10 pounds more than I did in high school. But I'll take that 10 pounds because I'm in far better shape now than I was then....and I can still fit into my cheerleading skirt. You know why? 

MUSCLE

A pound of muscle takes up less space than a pound of fat. So as you lose body fat and gain lean muscle, you are becoming slimmer, even when you don't see the number on the scale drop. But you're still reaching your goal of becoming slimmer and looking better, right? YES! So who cares about the number of the scale, your BMI, all that crap. BMI does not take into consideration someone who is muscular and athletic, and will shift towards the "overweight" category even though that's ludicrous. It's especially unfair to men, who will typically weigh more at the same height as women because they tend to have more muscle mass.

Is your body hanging onto that last 5 pounds? So what! It probably wants to hold onto it. 

BUT WEIGHTS WILL MAKE ME BULKY

So I basically just told you to gain more muscle to be leaner, and you're wondering what the heck??

If you want to boost your metabolism and look better and leaner, then you must do resistance training. For every pound you lose through diet changes alone, 69% of that pound is fat, while 31% is muscle loss. Add cardio to your diet changes, and you've improved that fat/muscle loss ratio to 78%/22%. If you add in resistance training, that ratio changes to 97% fat loss/3% muscle loss. You've just vastly improved your body's ability to burn fat. Fat is metabolized in muscle, so it makes sense that muscle gain will boost your metabolism. 

Throw out the assumption that heavy weights will make women bulky. Because of the hormonal differences in men and women, specifically testosterone levels, an increase in muscle mass is less in women than in men. You will get STRONGER, but not necessarily bulkier. 

As a side note, in addition to an increase in your metabolic rate, other benefits of resistance training include the following:

• Increase in functional strength
• More power and strength for cardiovascular exercise
• Helps protect joints by taking pressure off of them, which in turn will decrease your risk of degeneration
• Strengthens the tendons and ligaments, allowing us to perform everyday activities and sports with a decreased risk of injury

MORE CARDIO!! MORE CARDIO!!

As much as we wish it was so simple, it's not about "calories in/calories out" only. Sure, if we consume way too many calories, our body is going to convert that to fat. But if it was only about maintaining a deficit, weight loss wouldn't be so tricky. Way too many people think that in order to boost our weight loss, we need to JUST DO MORE CARDIO! 

First of all, hours upon hours of repetitive cardio will not give you awesome muscle. As a matter of fact, you're going to start burning some of your muscle. Your body will start to adapt to the repetition of the exercise and your metabolism will suffer because of it.

You've seen the "fat burning zone" on cardio machines, right? Ignore it. While it's true that at lower intensities in an aerobic training zone your body will burn a higher percentage of fat versus carbohydrates, if instead you increase the intensity of the exercise, you are actually going to burn far more calories overall (and therefore far more fat). For example, let's say you speed walk for an hour, keeping your heartrate in that "fat burning zone" and burn 400 calories. You may burn about 60% from fat, so 240 fat calories. If you pushed your exercise into a higher intensity and burned 800 calories in that hour, at a 40% fat burn rate, you've just torched 320 fat calories.

When you push your body into bursts of anaerobic activity, you can achieve what is called Post Exercise Oxygen Consumption. In this state, your metabolism remains elevated AFTER exercise, something that strictly aerobic exercise won't do.

Think QUALITY over QUANTITY. An hour of interval-type training, with bursts of higher intensity, will benefit you more in the long run than two hours of lower intensity cardio. If you incorporate high intensity cardio bursts into a resistance training workout, you've just killed two birds with one stone.

Another downfall of too much cardio is the tendency to overcompensate when you refuel. You may end up overeating after a good workout. This is a big problem with endurance athletes. And it leads me to my next myth.

BUT IF I EXERCISE MORE, I CAN EAT WHATEVER I WANT

It doesn't matter if you burn off the calories. If you put crap into your body, it's still crap that is in your body. Food processed with God-knows-what is basically poison. If you don't put the right mix of REAL food into your body, you will never experience what your body is truly capable of. We still need the correct ratio of calories from macronutrients - 45-65% carbohydrates, 10-35% protein, and 20-35% fats. Additionally, we need nutrient dense foods - foods that are rich in micronutrients like essential vitamins and minerals.

Imagine how you would feel trying to run for an hour after consuming 800 calories from donuts vs 800 calories from chicken, rice, and vegetables. Still the same number of calories with far different effects on our performance.

Additionally, it's very easy to overestimate how much food we should refuel with after intense exercise. We all need to be prudent in monitoring our input in order to keep the energy balance moving the right direction.

And remember, it's possible to eat more quantity of food and feel full, yet consume a small amount of calories...imagine 200 calories of watermelon versus 200 calories of chocolate. That's a lot of watermelon and will fill you up whereas that small amount of chocolate will likely just leave your hungrier. Quality of Quantity!!

CARBS ARE BAD!! FAT IS BAD!!

The Atkins Diet really screwed up how we feel about we feel about carbohydrates. Additionally, the introduction of the "fat free" craze screwed up our thoughts on the benefits of fat in our diet.

WE NEED CARBOHYDRATES. WE NEED FATS.

Keep repeating that to yourself.

A severe restriction of carbohydrates does typically result in early weight loss, mainly due to the excretion of water from our bodies and the suppression of our appetite, leading to fewer calories consumed. But this is not a state that can be maintained over the long term and can have harmful effects on our bodies.

Carbohydrates are the preferred source of energy for our bodies. Take away that source, and you will find your energy will be depleted quickly. You will feel sluggish and not have the ability to perform to your potential. Carbs are also necessary for tissue repair.

If you are concerned about insulin levels, it's important that the majority of your carbohydrate-rich foods are on the low end of the glycemic index. The glycemic index classifies foods on their potential to raise blood glucose. Certain carbohydrates will cause blood glucose to rise and fall more rapidly than others. A more rapid rise and fall may make us feel hungrier more quickly than those foods that fall on the low end of index.

Regarding fats, our bodies absolutely need healthy fats. They are essential for micronutrient absorption, organ and joint protection, and growth and development. You can also derive energy from fats when your glycogen stores have been depleted.

Ignore most "fat-free", "low-fat", "sugar-free" stuff you find in stores. Chances are it's loaded with an excess of sugar, bad fats, or sodium that completely negates any benefit it's trying to emphasize. Choose real, unprocessed food the majority of the time. 

WELL THEN, I WILL JUST SERIOUSLY RESTRICT MY CALORIES

Not if you want to stay healthy over your lifetime, you won't.

It is not recommended that you restrict your calories to less than 1200 calories per day. For a heavy or active person, even that level is too low. Very low-calorie diets are typically deficient in the proper amount of macro- and micronutrients and can lead to malnutrition, poor energy and fatigue, an inability to succeed at any kind of fitness program, and a slowing of your metabolism. You are also at risk for binge eating, which will ultimately sabotage your weight loss goals.

One way to know how many calories your body requires is to calculate your basal metabolic rate, which is the number of calories we would burn if we were completely at rest. Once you know your BMR, you can calculate your basic calorie needs based on your activity level. It's easy to find these calculators online, but here's an example for myself:

At my height, weight, and age my BMR is 1347 calories. I alternate between being moderately active (1.55 multiplier) and very active (1.725 multiplier), so my range for caloric needs to maintain my current weight is 2087-2323 calories. If I want to maintain my current weight, I should not go below these adjusted numbers. Keep in mind, however, that a leaner body mass requires even more calories for maintenance (the formula falls short in calculating for this).

If you want to lose weight, you should plan to cut 300-500 calories per day from your daily energy needs. If you are very obese, you can cut even more calories, but again keep in mind that going below 1200 calories per day is not advised. You can see how much better your diet can become (quantity-wise) if you increase your activity level.

All that being said, I am not a calorie counter at all. I am a firm believer that if you choose fresh, real, healthy, unprocessed food the majority of the time, and don't eat beyond satiety, your caloric input will regulate itself properly.

Just remember, our bodies require fuel to function at their potential. The correct amount, the correct type, and consistently throughout the day.

So, in summary, is there a magic pill or a magic formula that will make the weight fall off with no effort on your part? The answer is NO. If you want to create a healthy, fit lifestyle for yourself and keep your body at a healthy weight (and that number might be higher than you think!), then you must make common sense choices every single day. There are too many myths out there that sound good, but are completely meaningless when stripped down. Sound choices include:

• Exercise that includes resistance training and higher intensity
• Food containing ALL the macronutrients and the micronutrients our bodies need to function
• Enough calories to properly fuel our activities and keep our metabolism efficient

Lastly, stop obsessing about the number on the scale and start obsessing about changing your body composition instead.

Did I change the way you think?

Chocolate Cake

I have a huge weakness.

No, it's not necessarily chocolate cake as the title of this blog post might indicate. It's dessert in general, which I refer to collectively as "chocolate cake."

What can I say? I am an endurance runner. I burn a lot of calories on a consistent basis. And dammit, I need that cake sometimes. I don't always feel too guilty about it, which isn't a good thing. I don't eat dessert everyday, which IS a good thing. But I'm thinking it's too much.

I've worked really hard in the last year to change my body composition. I know where I'm at today and I'm pretty happy with it....except for what I refer to as my "chocolate cake layer." In the gym and out on the trails I'm doing everything I can do build lean muscle and keep my fitness level where I want it. I have that part of my regimen down.

But you can't have it all unless you fix the problem in the kitchen.

I told my core class recently, after we ironically talked about dessert before class, that I can help them improve their core muscles and the intensity of some of our workouts is aiding in fat burn, but they are in charge of the final step, which is getting rid of that final layer covering up those increasingly strong muscles. I admitted I have a weakness just like them.

That damn chocolate cake.

One of my favorite fitness quotes is that you can't exercise away a bad diet. If you are still consistently eating too many solid fats, added sugars, processed foods, and fried foods, you must make changes in the kitchen. Making small changes in how you grocery shop, how you cook, and how you eat out, will have huge benefits in the long run. But unless you make those changes, those 6 pack abs just won't be what they could be.

I'm learning like everyone else how to be a better eater. I fail constantly, but I pick myself back up and get back into it.

So who is "Coach Steph"?

I've been thinking for the past couple of weeks about what my philosophy is with regards to training, fitness, and health. Every fitness professional needs a philosophy and everyone is different. I am constantly throwing ideas around in my head about how I would describe myself as a trainer and I started making a list. I think it's a pretty good start.

I don't focus solely on weight loss. I focus on body composition change - fat loss and muscle gain.

I don't use the word "diet." I discuss "nutrition."

We will talk calories, but I don't "calorie count". I focus on portion control, food quality, and food variety.

Fueling is key. Starving is stupid.

There will be weight training. Lots of it. More cardio does not mean better results.

Finding something that can be maintained is the ultimate goal.

I will hold you accountable.

I will push you into uncomfortable territory.

I do not believe in fads or too many restrictions.

I will make you believe that fitness is necessary for quality of life. You will make it a part of your life permanently.

Regarding nutrition, I see way too many people focused solely on calorie counting, with little focus on food quality. Their main focus with exercise, therefore, is to burn calories. I just don't completely
subscribe to this...although it can be a good start to understanding portion control and getting a big bang for your buck with exercise. But fitness is so much more than calorie counting and cardio. You'll never get the results you have the potential to achieve if you use this narrow focus. While it's important to understand calories in general, it's much more important to eat proper portions, eat quality food, eat a variety from all food groups, and eat throughout the day. With a consistent practice like this, your caloric intake will regulate itself properly.

Cardio is not the only way to proper weight loss. In order to obtain healthy body composition you have to include weight training. Lean muscle mass will boost your metabolism like nothing else. Your fat burning potential is increased since muscle is where fat is metabolized.

But that's not all. Muscle improves heart function...your heart simply doesn't have to work as hard. You will also protect joints and connective tissue and reduce arthritic symptoms in the process. Your bone density is increased with weight training. This ability to protect your joints and bones will lead to fewer injuries. Strength train with functional movements (using more than one muscle group at a time in a strength training move) and you're improving core and balance as well. With a stronger core, your ability to perform daily activities and exercise without injury improves even further.

Nothing can be achieved without a solid plan, consistency, motivation to succeed, and holding yourself accountable. I have always said that if you don't schedule fitness into your day, you're going to make every excuse in the book to not get it done. So schedule it like any other appointment....and then stick to it. If you need someone there to hold you accountable, join a fitness group. Make them depend on you and you will show up and you will work hard and succeed.

Exercise isn't always fun. If it didn't hurt at least a little, it isn't doing you any good. But there is a way to find the comfortable in the uncomfortable, and you have to be willing to understand that and put it into practice. You have to be willing to take yourself to a difficult place and push through it. What's on the other side is amazing and very much worth it.

Fad "diets" or fad "workouts"? Not my thing at all. I'm very simple and basic when you strip my philosophy down. I don't cut out any macronutrients and don't believe in diets that tout that. While I think some of these fad workouts are good to get people off their butts, a lot of them have too much fluff to do any kind of good in the long term. You want to be successful? Get your heart rate up, work your muscles to fatigue, don't be afraid to suffer, know your limits, do not do anything beyond your ability, get that core strong, and you will lose the excess body fat and gain that lean muscle in the process.

My philosophy is coming together. I'm enjoying the process of discovering it.

I found my "why"

I owe today's blog topic inspiration to my friend Dana. She is at a conference and one of the speakers today really got her to think. He was talking about why people continue in their unhealthy lifestyles, with poor eating habits and no exercise, even though we all know better. He said that they do this because they haven't found their "why."

Why should they bother changing those habits? Why should they be healthy? Why is one way better than the other?

Dana found her "why" after her first born child came into this world with gastroschisis. Gastroschisis is a congenital condition characterized by a defect in the abdominal wall. Babies with this condition are born with their abdominal contents on the outside of their body. Baby M is now nearly 11 years old and in excellent health, and I'd like to think that is due in large part to Dana's commitment to keeping her children (she now has 3) as healthy as possible, and modeling a healthy lifestyle for them. She is very careful with the diet of all her children, choosing to minimize any possible complications or inflammation to M's digestive system.

Dana found her "why" on December 14, 2001.

She asked me if I found my "why" when my sister died. It, of course, got me to think and then I knew I needed to write about it.

I remember back in Junior High learning about nutrition in one of my classes and wanting to make some changes in my family's habits. I think that was my first real commitment to taking care of myself. Many of my family members were overweight and I was not, and I didn't ever want to be. I was already very aware of the judgement and harshness of others towards overweight people...I didn't want to fall victim to that.

I had stops and starts to healthy living for the next 20 years. I was fairly active through high school and college, never had any weight problems, made sure I remained active through both pregnancies, gained the normal 25-30 pounds with each, and tried to continue a healthy lifestyle after my second child was born. Some years were better than others but overall I think I developed some pretty good eating and exercise habits.

In 2007, we moved to Texas and I let my exercise habits slide to basically nothing. I knew I was gaining weight. It was only a few pounds, but it was unusual for me. I had everything checked out with the doctor (I have only half of a thyroid due to a tumor in 2006, so I had to be sure it was still functioning properly). Everything was "fine" except my cholesterol. It was borderline high. For the first time in my life, I had created a health problem through lack of fitness. The next day I bought running shoes and went on my first run. Six months later I ran a half marathon and had shaved 33 points off my cholesterol number. This was my biggest commitment to a healthy lifestyle and my "why" moment. 

Why? Because I refused to be unhealthy when I could just as easily prevent it with better choices.

So now we're back at Dana's question....was my "why" moment when Trisha died? I'd already made a commitment, so in a way the answer is no, but it's also a "yes" in a different way.

I made a commitment to not only help myself but to help others.

The absolute biggest regret in my life will always be that I didn't help my sister, that I didn't push her more to change her habits, that I didn't get over my fear of her reaction and just call her out on her choices. No matter how many times someone tells me her death is not my fault and I could not have prevented it, I will always believe I could have done more.

I don't want anyone else to feel this way.

I want everyone I encounter to understand that no matter what, we have a choice to lead a healthy lifestyle, we have a choice to be a good example to our children, we have a choice to make changes in our eating and exercise habits, we have a choice to get to a healthy weight and be strong, we have a choice to not fall victim to age, we have a choice to be our very best every single day.

Why?

It doesn't matter to me what your "why" moment is...I just want you to find it. It can be superficial ("I want to look good naked"). It can be sad ("I lost my spouse to Type 2 diabetes complications). It can be anything, as long as you find it.

Why?

Because we're worth it. Every single one of us is worth it.

Hello 2012

Don't worry...this isn't a New Year's Resolution post. I don't make resolutions. But I do reflect, and that's what I shall do for this New Year. Reflect and find what's most important to me to focus on.

2011 was an interesting year. I did accomplish a few things I set my mind to, I had a lot of fun times, met some new people, missed a few people, struggled with some stuff, watched others struggle, saw my kiddos grow, and probably got my feelings hurt a few too many times. Interesting indeed.

As I go into 2012, there are several things I want to focus on, maybe improve upon, maybe change a little. I figured a good start would be to come up with 12 of these things for the year 2012.

1. Better understand and embrace my strength.  Whether this is mental or physical or a combination of both, I don't know. Physically I do feel like I'm at a peak. I've worked very hard this year to change things up in a way that helps me improve upon my fitness and I'm happy with the results. I had a rough start to 2011. I struggled through two less than stellar marathons and just didn't believe in myself enough to power through mediocre weather conditions. I vowed to never let myself feel like that again. This training season is very different. I have been able to complete some tough training runs strong and in control, never giving in to any yucky feelings, but rather allowing them to pass and becoming more confident in the process. I have my 5th marathon coming up in just 12 days and I really couldn't be more prepared for this one. I need to remember the mental and physical tricks to keep my body moving through the rough patches and to believe that my ultimate time goal is not out of the question.

2. Appreciate my kids' quirks. I don't have easy kids...I mean, really, who does? Every child has their own challenges that they bring to the table and mine are no different. But for every difficult characteristic, they have a multitude of wonderful characteristics. They are smart, funny, sweet, cuddly, beautiful, incredible, fearless, creative, thoughtful, and simply amazing. I am not the world's best mom. Parenting is something I struggle with daily, but I'm doing the very best that I can. When I witness and appreciate these special qualities in my kids, everyone is happier.

3. Take some "me" time. In order to be a better parent, I need my alone time. Or rather, I need time away from my responsibilities. There are a lot of moms and dads out there who will say that they never feel the need to "get away", that they never get so frustrated with parenting that they want a break from their children. That's not who I am and I really make no apologies for it. I have been made to feel that this is a flaw, but after a lot of careful thought and consideration, I know that I wholeheartedly disagree with that assessment. Needing some time to recharge and focus on just MY needs is not a flaw. It's human nature. If you're the type of parent that just can't get enough of your children, 100% of the time, well good for you.

This "me" time is something that both Greg and I get to experience in the coming months. He's been doing a lot of traveling lately for work, and it's not likely to ease up anytime soon. Rather than viewing this as bad I want to try to see the positives in it. By being away from home responsibilities, Greg gets time to recharge and reflect, to spend time with friends without worry, and to just be by himself if he chooses. I'm also getting a few opportunities to do the same with the races I will be traveling to this year. Right now I have three races that will take me away from home, with friends, without family, and although I know I'll miss my family I know it's good for me to worry about no one else but myself. I can come home relaxed, happy, and ready to love my family.

4. Don't sweat the small stuff. I was under so much stress at the end of 2011. I'm actually surprised it didn't make me physically sick. I couldn't keep myself from thinking about everything that had to be done and instead of just taking it one step at a time, I let it fester and explode into a big mass of stress and anxiety. I don't know if I can improve upon this, but I think I need to try. I might be a stay-at-home mom, but it doesn't mean my plate isn't full. I am incredibly busy. What constitutes busy to one person might be very different to another person, but to someone who hates having something on the calendar every single days, I am BUSY. I'm not nearly as happy when I have too many things going on. Restful days are a necessity for me. Again, if you're the kind of person who needs to be going, going, going all the time, well then good for you.

As a matter of fact, after the kids went to school today and I had the house completely to myself, I sat on the couch until 10am. It was amazing. Did I have laundry, vacuuming, dishes, and decoration removal to do? Yes. Did I care? Not really!

5. Appreciate my TRUE friends. Everyone talks about "true" friends and what that means. The last couple of years has taught me a lot about what qualities a true friend has. There are people in everyone's life who you should be able to talk to about anything and not worry about judgement, unwarranted advice and negativity. There are people who you can not talk to for awhile, but get right back into giggling chats the minute you see them again. If there's a conflict (and I can't even begin to tell you how much I hate conflict, and how I have no tolerance or patience for it in my life....I'm simply too old and too sensitive to create it or put up with it), well then that friend better speak up and get it out and get it fixed.  I've "lost" a couple of friends in the last year or so and it does make me sad. Looking back I see that obviously they weren't true friends if I held no real value to them. There wasn't a real conflict. I guess they simply decided I was expendable, and that's quite hurtful. On the contrary, I've grown very close to others in the last year and I'm very comfortable opening up my heart and mind to them. I'm going to hold those friends even closer.

6. Let's talk about sensitivity for a minute. I'm a super sensitive person and I fully admit this. When someone doesn't like me for some reason, it hurts, no matter who that person is. I like to think of myself as a good person, a nice person, a fun person, and not one to "fight" with anyone. I might say what's on my mind occasionally but I never do it in a confrontational way or a hurtful way....at least I hope I do not the vast majority of the time. But there are folks out there who will demean, argue, judge, gossip, and just act downright nasty. Thankfully these types of people have been few and far between in my life, but some remain in my life's perimeter and it's a black spot in an otherwise pleasant environment. It saddens me, it makes me cautious, it makes me want to "fix" it, even though I simply can't and I just shouldn't even care enough about it to want it to be fixed. So should I vow to be less sensitive? No, I don't think that's really right. But I do wish I could downplay the hurt I feel sometimes.

7. And on that same note...let's talk about Depression. I have struggled with this a few times in my life. I had post-partum depression after both kids, and I was in a very dark place after my sister died. Upon reflection of this past year, I think I spent a lot of it in a depressed state. Admitting this feels pretty good, because I spent too much time unhappy in 2011. Knowing that it probably was some form of depression makes it a bit more bearable. Yesterday I read an incredible blog post about depression and it made me feel so much better about this disease. If you get the chance, please read it here: http://thebloggess.com/2012/01/the-fight-goes-on/. This comes from one of the funniest bloggers out there, but even she couldn't escape the grips of depression.

I get a lot of comments from people that my life seems pretty wonderful. Sure, it probably is! I have a great home, family, husband, "job", and I don't want for anything really. However, depression doesn't discriminate. If I'm stressing out or just downright lethargic about responsibilities, I feel so guilty about it. I have all these blessings, why aren't I happier? This guilt and the subsequent comments from people just makes it worse. Knowing there's sometimes a clinical reason for this is a big weight off my shoulders. I'm going to remember this better in 2012. And if it requires a bit more help than I can provide for myself, then I'm not so afraid to seek out that help.

8. So what am I going to do when I grow up? I haven't held a paying job in over 10 years now. I've focused my time on raising a family and keeping the homefront stable. Over the years I've spent time with different hobbies and I like to think I've made some efforts to improve myself as I age. There are still things I want to do. I'd like to expand upon some of these hobbies and make a bit more time for them. For example, I really want to become a certified running coach. Whole heck of a lot easier said than done! There are so few certification courses available and I'd prefer not traveling to one. I'm waiting to jump on the chance to attend a course in Austin. If that happens in 2012 I will be ecstatic! In the meantime I'm trying to absorb as much information as possible about fitness, running, and general health. As much as I enjoy improving my own running, I am even happier when I get to help others with theirs. Having that certification would be pretty great.

9. More races! When I first started running in 2007 I was a beast about racing. I was constantly signing up for new ones and enjoying myself. The last two years I have done very few, focusing mainly on marathons. I hadn't had a "good" race in a very long time. That's changed now. I've had such a great training year, and I finally got a new PR (10k distance), so my confidence is so much higher. I'd like to tap into that confidence once again and take advantage of all the great races around Austin. Right now I am registered for 4 in the coming months but I'm always looking for more.

10. Take my own advice. Remember this blog post? I'm going to continue to focus and reflect upon this in the new year.

11. Nutrition and what it can do for my body. I have made a lot of effort to be more mindful of my eating and to find healthy alternatives to the junk that is available out there. I am happy with some of the changes I made and can feel the difference in my body. I don't do anything extreme, but rather just cut out most processed and junk foods and adding in a lot more healthy grains and fresh fruits and veggies. I can still splurge if I want, but I'm finding that the desire lessens over time. I learned first hand in the past two weeks what junk and too much sugar can do for my body. I had two terrible workouts and just felt miserable afterwards. When I ate well I felt amazing. Pretty solid correlation that I'm going to continue to focus on this year.

12. Continuing to influence people to live a healthier life. When I wrote this blog post back in November, I really didn't expect the great outpouring I got. I hope the motivation that people told me I gave them has continued. I hope that seeing me accomplish fitness goals also serves as further motivation that anyone can get off their butt and get into shape, and more importantly, STAY IN SHAPE. I'm going to keep doing what I do and hope that it reaches others to make healthy, lasting changes. We can all reach our potential and don't ever have to settle for less.

So there are my reflections for the year. A few things to think about, a few things to get accomplished, and few things to improve upon. Not resolutions, but rather a continuing focus on the most important things year after year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, Y'ALL!

Limitations? Screw the limitations

We all have a responsibility to ourselves and to our loved ones to do whatever we can to take care of ourselves...our minds, our bodies, our souls, our overall well-being. So why are there so many limiting factors to accomplishing that? Why don't we make ourselves a priority more often than we do? Why is society slowly killing itself through unhealthy lifestyle choices?

WHY DO WE ACCEPT THIS AS BEING OKAY?


How do we change this?

When I became a runner, it started a slow transformation to putting general fitness first. I had always been conscious of my weight and health, but wasn't a totally consistent exerciser. When I signed up for my first race, a half marathon, it forced me to schedule my workouts and make training a priority.  It's been over 4 years since I did that. As I look back at these past few years I can see the transformation unfold and it makes me very happy.

I'm not perfect. I splurge on cheeseburgers. I like chocolate. I sometimes prefer my fish to be fried. I drank Coke at dinner last night. One thing that doesn't change? Exercise. I never take a real break from it. In over 4 years the longest I've ever gone without running is 15 days and that was only because I was very sick. I was more angry about not being able to work out than about being sick. It had become so ingrained in me that exercising was a necessity that my body physically craved it and was going through withdrawals without it. Just like our bodies need food, they NEED exercise.

The nutrition aspects of my fitter lifestyle have taken a bit more time. I've always tried to be balanced in my choices and I've never been an overeater, but there are a few things here and there that I've slowly improved over the years. I add in new things when I can, try out new recipes, eat fresh ingredients more often, have almost entirely cut out fast food (it actually completely grosses me out 99% of the time now), and turn to water 95% of the time for fluids. Surprisingly, it really hasn't been a particularly difficult thing to do. Since I'm an endurance athlete I have to pay attention to how I'm fueling. I'm forced to make better choices so I can perform as well as possible in training. This just naturally spills over into my general food choices throughout the week and not just when I'm fueling for a particular run.

The past few days I've been thinking a lot about how society in general views fitness. We all know how important it is - that is being rammed into our heads more and more - but unfortunately very few people put forth enough effort to actually BE FIT. We have cars for transportation, we have fast food restaurants with easy drive-thrus, we can pick up the phone and get greasy delivery, we work over 40 exhausting hours a week, we overschedule our children and therefore ourselves, and we do all this without thinking twice about how a good workout is going to fit into it. The result?

AMERICA IS FAT AND UNHEALTHY. Yeah, I said it. Look around. It's true. And it makes me so very, very sad because it doesn't have to be that way for ANYONE. Do you ever watch Jay Leno and hear him say "this is why America is fat" during his monologue? He hits the nail on the head every time.

I don't care if you're 65 years old, if you have arthritis, if you think you "can't run", if you don't know how to cook, if you work too much, or if you have 6 children. YOU STILL MUST MAKE TIME TO BE FIT. No excuse is acceptable to me. I don't expect you to be 120 pounds and rail thin, but YOU STILL MUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR HEALTH.

Yes, it's easier for me to make time than a lot of other people. I don't work outside the home, I "only" have 2 children, I have the resources available to me to make it a priority, and I have a supportive family. But I still have to DO THE WORK. I can still easily give in to exhaustion, laziness, or depression and decide not to do that 4 mile run.

BUT I DON'T.

One thing that frustrates me beyond measure and forces me to sometimes bite my tongue is when I hear friends (of all ages, but particularly middle aged or older, or those who have had children) laugh off their lack of fitness or their overweight reality as not a big deal...because they aren't young anymore it's expected that they would become out of shape or become overweight. When did becoming overweight as we age or have children become acceptable? I don't get that mentality at all. We should never accept a lack of fitness or an overweight body to become the expected reality for us just because we're AGING. Who cares if we're aging?

I'm nearly 38 years old and although I do miss my flatter stomach of 20 years ago I can still run laps around my 18 year old self BECAUSE I CHOOSE TO MAKE THAT MY NEW REALITY. Age is completely irrelevant to me. I do not expect to get slower as I age...I'm making myself get faster. I do not expect to run fewer marathons as I age. I'm signing up for MORE.

I hear friends talk about their medications and it makes me sad that they do not have any idea that if they just started a fitness routine and tweaked their diet the vast majority of their health problems would be gone. GONE. It took me only a few months to take 35 points off my cholesterol...because I bought a pair of running shoes and used them. My mom lost 50 pounds, reduced her meds signficantly and her fitness level is a complete 180 from where she was 2 years ago...because she joined a gym and did the work and continues to make that a priority. She's 65 years old and is in better shape than when she was 35. My 52 year-old brother-in-law has done something very similar and is a totally different man than 2 years ago, while passing on these important healthy habits to my 11 year old niece. And he does this as a single parent. My friend Tricia, who blogs at Endurance Isn't Only Physical, is another perfect example of someone who said NO MORE and changed her life, losing 128 pounds in a year....and she runs marathons! There is a 72 year old man in my running group who has run 60 marathons. He ran his first one when he was 58 YEARS OLD.

A friend of mine, Gene from the blog Accountability, posted this yesterday and told him I had to steal it. Forgive the F-bombs, but it gets my point across perfectly.

So don't tell me you can't. Don't tell me you don't have time. Don't tell me you're too old. Don't tell me you have too many health problems. Don't tell me you're too tired. I don't want to hear it.

As many of you know, I lost my 37 year old sister over 2 years ago. She was morbidly obese and was taking over a dozen different medications because of various ailments such as diabetes, high blood pressure, lupus, etc. The majority of her health problems would probably have ceased to exist had she adopted a healthier lifestyle. To say that I feel an incredible amount of guilt for failing in motivating her to change her habits is a huge understatement. I had so many opportunities to help her, but I didn't. I had opportunities to talk to her, to do research for her, to be a better supporter, but I didn't. Would it have saved her? I don't know...no one knows...but I'll never know for sure. Maybe it could have. Yes, I have a lot of guilt which fuels my anger and frustration at others for letting themselves become unhealthy.

I don't want to lose anyone else to preventable health problems. EVER.


So next time you catch yourself saying "I've just been so busy so I've put on 20 pounds," or "The last thing I want to do at night is exercise", or "My kids keep me so busy"....JUST STOP. Stop sabotaging yourself. 


Schedule your workouts.


Research healthy recipes.


Buy fresh ingredients.


Stop eating fast food.


PUSH YOUR LIMITS.

YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOU THINK. AND YOU ARE WORTH THE EFFORT.