Friday, January 17, 2020

First race of the year....maybe?

I've been laying a little low this week (well, except for birthday shenanigans, of which there weren't many because #old). On Monday of this week, I noticed a definite issue with my left hamstring. I find it weird that all of a sudden my body is deciding that instead of my right side harboring all my physical issues, now it's my left side. Overcompensation? Probably.

Anyway, my hamstring was very sore and tight and I honestly don't know why. I was pulling weeds over the weekend and therefore doing a lot of squatting, but it was only my left side that was sore so I'm not sure that was even why.

I ran a few easy miles Tuesday and it didn't feel any worse, but also not any better. A lot of trigger point, foam rolling, using the Stick, slathering on anti-inflammatory cream....I pulled out all my tricks. I had a deep tissue massage on Wednesday and the massage therapist (Cassandra at Renew Med Spa is THE BEST EVER) worked for a really long time on the hamstring. She noted that there wasn't tightness at the insertion point, so that was a big positive. She did, however, note that I seemed to be dehydrated and needed to remedy that right away. I felt substantially better by Wednesday evening.

It's now Friday and the soreness has definitely dissipated, and I've barely run this week (only an easy 3 miles yesterday after Monday's and Tuesday's easy runs). I'm continuing my self-care on the area and hydrating has been kicked up a bunch of notches. You could say I'm very well rested, that's for sure.

Race day is Sunday.

After my hamstring injury 16 months ago, I'm extremely cautious when it comes to tightness in that area. It takes forever for hamstring tears and sprains to heal and the last thing I feel like dealing with is another big problem that takes away running therapy. I know I'm in shape to run well on Sunday, quite likely a personal best, and the weather couldn't be more perfect - 40ish, dry air, and a 10mph tailwind on a slight downhill course. All the other stars are aligning for a great race, so to have any kind of potential issue is worrisome.

However, this isn't an A race or anything like that for me. I haven't raced this course since 2013 and since my husband is racing, I thought it would be fun to do so as well and see if I could pull off a PR (1:49:26). But I'm not very invested in it. Not sure if this is a good attitude to have or not!

I knew on Tuesday that whether or not I race will likely be a Sunday morning last minute call. I am not going to run unless I can REALLY RUN. I would rather have a DNS than just run an easy long run. It would irritate the crap out of me to hold back during the race for fear of hurting myself, so unless I'm comfortable running 8:15 miles, I'm not going to run at all.

There's always a lot of talk about how a DNF (did not finish) isn't as bad as a DNS (did not start), but frankly I think that's total bullshit. If I start this race and hurt myself and can't finish and therefore can't run for a few weeks, that's pretty foolish if I could have just bowed out gracefully and planned to run a different race down the road. To have the foresight to back out of a race to avoid injury seems way smarter to me than to be stubborn and force myself to "just try." I have a friend who has been working on finishing marathons in all fifty states. A few months ago, she chose, literally at the last possible minute, to not start a race, even though she had traveled far to race it, because she knew she couldn't give her best that day ("best" being a good attitude and gratitude for being able to run 26.2 miles time and time again, and not necessarily a fast time...after all, running several marathons a year means you don't race hard in all of them). She had slogged through a different marathon not long before this one and it pissed her off to no end afterwards to have failed to find happiness and satisfaction during the race and to her, it felt like she disrespected the distance. So when she knew she couldn't give her best again, she did the right thing for her and stepped away (she ended up going back to that state and made up for it and is actually finishing state #50 this weekend!). I totally get what she's saying. In my case, racing with a potential physical problem when it's not my A race just seems foolish and it's not what would make me happy.

Either I'm all in or all out. And I refuse to be disappointed by that.

So Sunday morning will arrive, and will I be at the starting line? I sure as hell hope so, because I'm honestly excited to see if I can get a personal best, but I'll listen to my gut and do what's right.

Wednesday, January 8, 2020

Personal Victories

I recently read an article in Runner's World from one of their coaches regarding replacing Personal Records with Personal Victories. She was a diehard PR chaser (as have I been on occasion, and recently), but in order to keep the joy and satisfaction in her running and to teach people about different kinds of goals, she changed this year's goals into Victories instead of Records.

I like that idea a lot. It was kind of surprising to me that after missing my goal in my last marathon, that I wasn't very disappointed by it. I still felt like I had achieved a huge victory in that race and I was happy with the outcome. This wasn't always the case when I missed a goal. So perhaps I've already starting this idea of Personal Victories being more important than a new PR.

While I still want to absolutely chase a new marathon PR, I want my main focus to be on different kinds of running victories, and victories in other parts of my life.

I want to be injury-free.
I ended 2019 and am beginning 2020 battling some tendonitis, and am taking steps to remedy it. I want this to be the only thing I deal with injury-wise this year. It's frustrating to be derailed by avoidable ailments.

I want to be joyous and thankful in every run.
Even the bad ones. Because at the end of the day, I am so lucky I can step outside and run whenever I want, that my body is healthy and strong and allows me to enjoy the outdoors in a unique way. That kind of gratitude goes a long way in keeping me motivated to run and train. I've always said that I refuse to slow down as I age, and I'm sticking to that. I know that eventually my race times will stop dropping, and it's probably sooner rather than later since I'm turning 46 next week, but I will ALWAYS keep moving. I'm so lucky to be healthy and I want to keep it that way.

I want to inspire someone.
I have been told that my marathon running is inspirational, but if that's the case then I want to be the reason that someone tries running, or that they come back to it after an absence, or that they tackle a new goal for themselves. I want to see someone get up and outside and be fearless because they were inspired by me. It makes the painful miles worth it to help out another person.

I want to run 2020 miles this year.
So technically this would be a personal record for me, but since it's not tied to an actual race time, I'm going to include it in my list of Personal Victories instead. This would equate to an average of 38 miles per week over the course of the year, and that seems like a lot. But when I'm training for Chicago I'll be running over 50 or 60 miles per week, so I think this average will pan out....of course as long as that whole "injury-free" victory happens!

I want to run in new places.
The best part about me seeking out destination marathons is that I get to run in new places. I've run ten marathons in Texas, so I'm only picking marathon distance races in other states right now, and for the foreseeable future. I love adding new places to my list and exploring them in such a unique way. Last month when I ran in Sacramento, I got to see the area with new eyes...even though I grew up in California and have been to the Sacramento area more times than I can count! Next up for me is Atlanta, and since the only other time I've set foot in Georgia was during a Ragnar Relay when I didn't even realize we had been in Georgia (it was Chattanooga to Nashville), it would be nice to actually SEE the state. I'll also be running in Chicago, and I've only ever been there on business (20 years ago!) and on layovers.

I want to let go of toxic things.
Whether it's people, or situations, or habits.....I want them all to go away. I worked on this a lot in 2019 and was successful, but there's still a ways to go before I'm satisfied. I have tightened my circle, have let go of negative situations, and am seeking out positive encounters as much as I can. I have a lot of stress in my life that is not within my control, so when I can control something, I'm doing a better job of ACTUALLY CONTROLLING IT. It might mean I spend more time solo and say no to big gatherings, but that's really good for me. It also might mean saying no when I'm asked of a favor, and I'm asked to do a lot of things by others, but I need to let go of the guilt I feel when saying no. It's always ok to say no to someone and NOT feel guilty for it. We aren't superhuman, after all. It might mean deleting people off of social media...sorry not sorry? I also need to stop some unhealthy habits and put more time into habits that make me feel productive. I got a little lazy with a few things recently, and it's making me feel pretty bad about myself, so it's time to turn the ship around. Guilt and remorse are too toxic for me.

I want to be strong for my kids.
My kids are going through a lot of changes right now. My son is about to graduate from high school and his future college plans are still uncertain, so I need to be there for him in any way that I can. My daughter is continuing on her journey to better mental health, and while it is sometimes particularly hard for me to deal with because of my own issues, I need to put that aside sometimes and be "all in" for her. That, in and of itself, would be a huge personal victory for me. I nearly fell apart towards the end of 2019, and am still crawling out of my hole, but I'm coming along, and thankfully my sweet kiddo has been pretty great most of the time. She's coming out of her hole, too, and I'm super proud of her.

I want to be the best wife I can be.
I've been married for 21 years, and marriage is freaking HARD sometimes. But I'm fully committed to seeing this thing through for the rest of my life. That means putting my husband first, and putting our relationship in the forefront of all our decisions. I'm at the age where the majority of my friends have been through divorce, often with kids involved, and I thank my lucky stars that Greg and I have weathered some pretty bad storms together. I see the pain of divorce and sharing custody and I want no part of it. So that means I better continue to buckle up and be the wife my husband and our marriage deserves. Through good times and bad. The security that comes from a committed relationship is what I need in life....to depend on each other on a daily basis is a beautiful thing.

If I can keep my focus on these kinds of victories, then I think I'll be having a good year, and if things don't quite go as planned, at least I will have bettered myself and become stronger to withstand the negative situations.

What are your personal victory goals?