Back in early 2012 I had an itch to do and be something different. I had spent nearly 11 years as a stay at home mom, and while I wouldn't change that for the world, I felt it was time for a change. So I became a personal trainer, group exercise instructor, and certified running coach over the next year.
While all of this has been very fulfilling and sometimes a lot of fun, I was feeling discontentment again this year. My son had a rough first year in middle school (he was diagnosed with ADHD) and my daughter has been, for lack of better words, an emotional wreck occasionally. I was gone every morning for work, and while this wasn't a huge deal during the school year, once summer arrived and my kids were home everyday with my work-at-home husband, things began to crack. It became very stressful for me to be gone every morning, and when I did get back home I was tired from teaching and training and having to be so personable for hours at a time. Finding the energy and desire to train for my own fitness goals was getting harder and harder to do when I spent so much time in a gym already. It wasn't how I envisioned my second career at all.
On July 6 I decided that it just wasn't worth it. I quit my job. Talk about a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. My kids needed me to be home with them, to eat breakfast with them, to take them to the park, to guide them with chores, to make sure they were getting what they needed emotionally on a daily basis. My husband is an incredible father, but he also has a demanding job that requires hours at a time to be spent on conference calls. Kids at home plus working husband was getting to be very stressful for everyone.
Part of the reason that I decided to pursue a second career was that I felt I wasn't contributing enough to our household. I wanted to be able to say I was a financial help in addition to my mother and wife duties, and for awhile I enjoyed providing that for the first time in over a decade. We took a few vacations and I used my income to pay for all of my fitness hobbies. It felt good to "earn" something and give back to the family.
But at the end of the day, the best thing I could do for the family was just to be here everyday, to make sure the house is running smoothly, to be a support for my children and help them in their struggles, to just play with them more. I'm only on Day 2 of my "stay-at-home mom" role, but I can already feel more contentment in the house, more peace.
I've also decided that after many years of shunning the kitchen, I'm going to spend more time in it, learning to cook healthy dishes for the family, learning to make my own endurance training fuel so my marathon and triathlon seasons are the best they can be. I'm excited about this venture and I'm enjoying my time spent in the kitchen so far. I never thought I'd be one to get excited about buying a food processor!
So what does this mean for "Coach Steph"? She's still alive and well and isn't going anywhere. I have a private training, coaching, and weight loss consultation business that will remain in effect. I love coaching runners, and I'm happy to train people out of my home or theirs as time permits, plus I will still be volunteer coaching for Round Rock Fit. But my priority has shifted back to being with my family, and this makes me the happiest.
I'm hoping to blog more (that has definitely slipped in the last year), I need to research more about ADHD for my son, I'm going to learn as much as I can about healthy endurance fueling, I'm going to kick the crap out of this upcoming marathon training season, and I'm about to finally officially become a triathlete. My family is going on a vacation before the school year starts up again, and my husband is going to see his wife in the kitchen a lot more than he's used to....I think it all sounds pretty darn great.
Tuesday, July 22, 2014
Friday, May 2, 2014
Hometown Race Weekend
I grew up in a little coastal California college town called San Luis Obispo. Very few people here in Texas have even heard of it and have no idea where it is. I've said "it's halfway between San Francisco and Los Angeles right along the coast" more times than I can remember. I love my little town. It's perfect in every way and the only place in California I'd ever want to live.
In 2012, after a 26 year marathon hiatus, San Luis Obispo held a new marathon and half marathon race, and my mom finished her first half marathon. I regretted not being able to come out there to race with her, but vowed to get my butt out there sooner rather than later. 2014 became that year! As soon as registration opened, I was in. It would be my 10th marathon and my second of the year.
Training went well leading up to the marathon, despite being the only one among my usual long run buddies doing a spring marathon. It was a bit of a mental challenge to keep going with training after completing two half marathons and another full marathon during the season. I was ready for a long run break! But I felt strong going into what would surely be a very tough marathon. Hilly Hilly HILLY.
I traveled to SLO by myself for six days to relax, hang out with my parents, and just enjoy being home and doing something different than my usual marathon routine. I got a chance to see my niece Katrina and her two sweet kiddos Hunter and Cambria in Santa Barbara after I arrived the Wednesday before race weekend.
My mom and I drove the race course and I think the only thing I said the whole time was "wow" and "there's another hill." It was SO BEAUTIFUL, and despite the massive number of hills that just wouldn't quit, I was getting so excited to experience my hometown on foot like that.
But before I could run my marathon, I had to race a little 5K on Saturday. I had spontaneously decided to register for the Mo's Smokehouse Chase the Pig 5K the day before the marathon, figuring that if I was in SLO for a race, I might as well make it really worth my time and race both days. It wouldn't be a fast 5K but it would still be fun and give me a chance to loosen up and relax.
My mom headed over to Madonna Inn (if you've never heard of Madonna Inn, you're missing out. Google it!) for the 5K on Saturday morning. It was a beautiful day already and I was looking forward to a short, easy race on the Madonna Inn property. Years ago I actually worked here, and the property still fascinates me.
I figured I'd run about a 9 min pace, maybe a bit faster, nothing that would overly fatigue me. It was really fun running around the property, although the long steep hill in the beginning wasn't all that much fun. I figured it would just be a preview of the marathon hills. We had to hit that hill, plus a second one twice on the two loop course, so this wasn't much of a PR course anyway. I didn't really feel all that bad about not "racing" it at this point. I kept up a nice, slightly fast, not too uncomfortable pace and sped up as we crested the second hill to the fast finish.
It would be another 90 minutes before they did the awards, and even though I was sure I didn't place with my 26:59 time (8:43 pace), I'm glad I had the good sense to check the results before taking off for home. I ended up winning my age group! I was pretty happy, but surprised. a 26:59 5K is a very solid time, but I really didn't think it would get me a medal. What a pleasant surprise!
Now comes the marathon....
A lot of people asked me what my goal for the race was. In my mind not every race is an automatic PR attempt. If I plan to PR a big race, that's my focus for training. For this particular race, my focus was to maintain my fitness enough to just have fun. It was a challenging course, and a PR attempt (4:17) would hurt. I wanted to enjoy running in my hometown, to soak in the beauty of the wine country. I thought maintaining about a 10 minute per mile average would be a really reasonable "A" goal, and I definitely wanted to run under 4:30 ("B" goal), and at the very least, NOT WALK. So...could I do a 4:22? I'd give it a shot, but overall, I just wanted to enjoy myself.
I was up early Sunday morning. My mom drove me to the high school to drop me off about an hour before the race start. I saw my friend Sarah right before lining up in the corrals (she was running the half) and got a hug, so that was great. Since there were less than 1000 people running the race, and we weren't starting with the half marathoners, I knew it would be a very different experience that the other marathons I've done. I wouldn't have to jockey for position in those early miles, wouldn't have to worry about getting stuck behind slower runners or getting in the way of any faster runners. It would be awesome. I surprisingly wasn't very nervous, just excited, although as we were in the start corral and I was around people I didn't know, I definitely started to miss my marathon buddies. It would have been extra special to have them there with me. These thoughts went through my mind several times during the race.
At 6:00 sharp, we were off!
As soon as we turned down Monterey Street I just soaked in the fact that I was running IN MY HOMETOWN. The old art deco Fremont Theater came up on our left and it made me smile. I could see the Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa ahead. We were running through historic downtown, then through the old charming neighborhoods, then back by the high school, and I was loving every step of it. Our first long big hill was about 3 miles into the race, and I knew if I tackled that feeling good, the rest of the hills would be fine (I was certainly optimistic!). It really wasn't so bad at all, and it gave me a confidence boost. I waved to a friend's mom at mile 4, and before I knew it we were running out into the wine country, where we would spend the bulk of the race.
Did I mention the weather was absolutely perfect? High 40s at the start, with lower humidity than expected. The sun was rising and the day was gorgeous. By the finish it would only be about 60 degrees, with some winds.
The hills were definitely daunting, and it seemed like as soon as we were done with one, we'd have to climb another, but none were too steep or too long (well, maybe the mile 7 one was a little rough). And the views around us made every one of those hills totally worth it. Blue skies, rolling hills of vineyards, mountains, horses....just perfect. Because the roads were completely closed and we were out in the country, there weren't very many spectators. That's very different than what I'm used to. However, we did have many, many volunteers from a local Youth Academy that were out cheering us on every mile or so. They would sing, cheer, and high five us and it was a great boost to see their smiling faces. The aid station volunteers were top notch as well, and even helped me refill my handheld water bottle a couple times so I didn't have to slow down too much. I got to chat with many fellow runners, as I seemed to be around many of the same people for much of the race. I even got to experience the half marathon leader fly by me at twice my speed about an hour into the race (CRAZY fast).
I was running exactly the pace I wanted to for the race, keeping my miles between about 9:35 and 9:50. It wasn't difficult to continue to run those miles, I was comfortable and happy, and I wanted to hold that for as long as I could during the race. I suppose if I did that, I actually had a shot to PR.
I hit the halfway point at about 2 hours, 9 minutes. Double that and I had a very solid marathon performance, but I knew that the later hills could really take a toll on me so I tried to just keep my head in the game. I honestly was not tired yet and not getting bothered by the hills. I had been hydrating and fueling well up until this point. We started running down another road on the course (Tiffany Ranch) that was dotted with some country homes and was very shaded and it was a nice change from being out on the main road (Orcutt). I just felt GOOD. I saw another friend right as we crested the steepest of all the hills (thankfully it was a short hill), and that gave me another boost. 15 miles in and I was pretty darn happy.
Another uneventful few miles with more and more hills, and my pace continued to hold steady. I really didn't start feeling the real effects of the marathon until 18 miles. My stomach started bothering me right after I fueled, and I just didn't feel so great all of a sudden. I had forgotten that from miles 16 to 20 is a steady incline, and I think it was finally starting to take its toll on my legs. I tried not to slow down, but I could tell I wasn't quite running the same pace that I had been. But I was still running, and that's all that mattered. I just hoped the yucky feelings would pass in the next couple miles and I'd get another energy boost to finish this thing out. But for the meantime I focused on the landmarks and the mile marker signs and just tried to make it from one to the next.
As I passed Mile 20, I knew I had definitely slowed. I was running about 45-60 seconds per mile slower now and my A goal was teetering on the brink of not happening. I was at 3 hours, 17 minutes when I hit Mile 20. It would be close, but I really needed to start speeding up again. I did remember that the last 10K was a net downhill and I hoped that this might give me a bit of a boost. Sadly, that elevation chart doesn't tell the whole story. There were still uphills and they were starting to kill me slowly.
I saw my parents right before Mile 22. My sweet dad asked if I was okay and I was so happy to see them, even for a fleeting moment as I ran by. This was where I was supposed to fuel again....and there you have my one big mistake for this marathon. When you feel like crap and you start slowing down, YOU FUEL. I needed to eat again and I didn't. Perhaps my pace would have picked up if I had fueled my muscles when I was supposed to. But when you're in those later miles in a marathon you're not always thinking clearly.
At Mile 23 I saw my friends Erin and Jason and I yelled to them "Why do I keep doing this?" How awesome is it that Erin snapped a couple pics? What a sight for sore eyes she and her family were!
At this point, the course took us on a biking trail, and what a wonderful, peaceful change that was in these later miles. Spectators lined the trail and many had posted some funny, inspirational, motivating signs for us to see. Despite feeling so fatigued, I still managed several smiles on this stretch. To get off the trail, we had to cross over the Jennifer Street bridge, but to get up on the bridge required a steady climb on a switchback...definitely unusual for a marathon course! But thankfully it was an easy incline and nothing too taxing. I knew that we had less than 2 miles to go in the race. My miles were still coming in way over pace, but I was well under my "B" goal and well within hitting a second fastest marathon time, so my spirits were still up.
The best thing was that I still hadn't walked at all. Every step of this marathon was RUNNING.
Another couple of miles through neighborhoods before we would hit Madonna Inn property and the finish line. Just a couple more miles.....
I was SO DAMN TIRED. Every step felt like a crawl (it actually was a crawl....Mile 25 was 11:20!), but at least I was still moving forward.
My mom warned me about the very last hill you climb as you enter Madonna property. It doesn't look bad until you have to run it after 4 hours. And she was right....that hill was short and AWFUL. I was barely shuffling as I trudged up it. But I knew as soon as I crested it, it was a downhill quarter mile to the finish and I would finally be done.
You couldn't wipe that smile off my face if you tried as I finished out those last couple minutes of my 10th marathon...in my hometown....with my parents waiting at the finish line.
4:25:33 - my second fastest! During what was by far the absolute most difficult course I had run.
It was worth every single hill!
In 2012, after a 26 year marathon hiatus, San Luis Obispo held a new marathon and half marathon race, and my mom finished her first half marathon. I regretted not being able to come out there to race with her, but vowed to get my butt out there sooner rather than later. 2014 became that year! As soon as registration opened, I was in. It would be my 10th marathon and my second of the year.
Training went well leading up to the marathon, despite being the only one among my usual long run buddies doing a spring marathon. It was a bit of a mental challenge to keep going with training after completing two half marathons and another full marathon during the season. I was ready for a long run break! But I felt strong going into what would surely be a very tough marathon. Hilly Hilly HILLY.
I traveled to SLO by myself for six days to relax, hang out with my parents, and just enjoy being home and doing something different than my usual marathon routine. I got a chance to see my niece Katrina and her two sweet kiddos Hunter and Cambria in Santa Barbara after I arrived the Wednesday before race weekend.
 |
| I also got to see my girl Dennette while in SLO - friends for almost 20 years! |
My mom and I drove the race course and I think the only thing I said the whole time was "wow" and "there's another hill." It was SO BEAUTIFUL, and despite the massive number of hills that just wouldn't quit, I was getting so excited to experience my hometown on foot like that.
But before I could run my marathon, I had to race a little 5K on Saturday. I had spontaneously decided to register for the Mo's Smokehouse Chase the Pig 5K the day before the marathon, figuring that if I was in SLO for a race, I might as well make it really worth my time and race both days. It wouldn't be a fast 5K but it would still be fun and give me a chance to loosen up and relax.
My mom headed over to Madonna Inn (if you've never heard of Madonna Inn, you're missing out. Google it!) for the 5K on Saturday morning. It was a beautiful day already and I was looking forward to a short, easy race on the Madonna Inn property. Years ago I actually worked here, and the property still fascinates me.
I figured I'd run about a 9 min pace, maybe a bit faster, nothing that would overly fatigue me. It was really fun running around the property, although the long steep hill in the beginning wasn't all that much fun. I figured it would just be a preview of the marathon hills. We had to hit that hill, plus a second one twice on the two loop course, so this wasn't much of a PR course anyway. I didn't really feel all that bad about not "racing" it at this point. I kept up a nice, slightly fast, not too uncomfortable pace and sped up as we crested the second hill to the fast finish.
It would be another 90 minutes before they did the awards, and even though I was sure I didn't place with my 26:59 time (8:43 pace), I'm glad I had the good sense to check the results before taking off for home. I ended up winning my age group! I was pretty happy, but surprised. a 26:59 5K is a very solid time, but I really didn't think it would get me a medal. What a pleasant surprise!
Now comes the marathon....
A lot of people asked me what my goal for the race was. In my mind not every race is an automatic PR attempt. If I plan to PR a big race, that's my focus for training. For this particular race, my focus was to maintain my fitness enough to just have fun. It was a challenging course, and a PR attempt (4:17) would hurt. I wanted to enjoy running in my hometown, to soak in the beauty of the wine country. I thought maintaining about a 10 minute per mile average would be a really reasonable "A" goal, and I definitely wanted to run under 4:30 ("B" goal), and at the very least, NOT WALK. So...could I do a 4:22? I'd give it a shot, but overall, I just wanted to enjoy myself.
I was up early Sunday morning. My mom drove me to the high school to drop me off about an hour before the race start. I saw my friend Sarah right before lining up in the corrals (she was running the half) and got a hug, so that was great. Since there were less than 1000 people running the race, and we weren't starting with the half marathoners, I knew it would be a very different experience that the other marathons I've done. I wouldn't have to jockey for position in those early miles, wouldn't have to worry about getting stuck behind slower runners or getting in the way of any faster runners. It would be awesome. I surprisingly wasn't very nervous, just excited, although as we were in the start corral and I was around people I didn't know, I definitely started to miss my marathon buddies. It would have been extra special to have them there with me. These thoughts went through my mind several times during the race.
At 6:00 sharp, we were off!
As soon as we turned down Monterey Street I just soaked in the fact that I was running IN MY HOMETOWN. The old art deco Fremont Theater came up on our left and it made me smile. I could see the Mission San Luis Obispo de Tolosa ahead. We were running through historic downtown, then through the old charming neighborhoods, then back by the high school, and I was loving every step of it. Our first long big hill was about 3 miles into the race, and I knew if I tackled that feeling good, the rest of the hills would be fine (I was certainly optimistic!). It really wasn't so bad at all, and it gave me a confidence boost. I waved to a friend's mom at mile 4, and before I knew it we were running out into the wine country, where we would spend the bulk of the race.
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| I snapped a pic while I ran down Orcutt Road in the early miles |
Did I mention the weather was absolutely perfect? High 40s at the start, with lower humidity than expected. The sun was rising and the day was gorgeous. By the finish it would only be about 60 degrees, with some winds.
The hills were definitely daunting, and it seemed like as soon as we were done with one, we'd have to climb another, but none were too steep or too long (well, maybe the mile 7 one was a little rough). And the views around us made every one of those hills totally worth it. Blue skies, rolling hills of vineyards, mountains, horses....just perfect. Because the roads were completely closed and we were out in the country, there weren't very many spectators. That's very different than what I'm used to. However, we did have many, many volunteers from a local Youth Academy that were out cheering us on every mile or so. They would sing, cheer, and high five us and it was a great boost to see their smiling faces. The aid station volunteers were top notch as well, and even helped me refill my handheld water bottle a couple times so I didn't have to slow down too much. I got to chat with many fellow runners, as I seemed to be around many of the same people for much of the race. I even got to experience the half marathon leader fly by me at twice my speed about an hour into the race (CRAZY fast).
 |
| Around Mile 6 |
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| Aid station about 7.5 miles into the race. Pic courtesy of SLO Marathon |
I was running exactly the pace I wanted to for the race, keeping my miles between about 9:35 and 9:50. It wasn't difficult to continue to run those miles, I was comfortable and happy, and I wanted to hold that for as long as I could during the race. I suppose if I did that, I actually had a shot to PR.
I hit the halfway point at about 2 hours, 9 minutes. Double that and I had a very solid marathon performance, but I knew that the later hills could really take a toll on me so I tried to just keep my head in the game. I honestly was not tired yet and not getting bothered by the hills. I had been hydrating and fueling well up until this point. We started running down another road on the course (Tiffany Ranch) that was dotted with some country homes and was very shaded and it was a nice change from being out on the main road (Orcutt). I just felt GOOD. I saw another friend right as we crested the steepest of all the hills (thankfully it was a short hill), and that gave me another boost. 15 miles in and I was pretty darn happy.
 |
| Around Mile 13 |
 |
| Around Mile 14 |
As I passed Mile 20, I knew I had definitely slowed. I was running about 45-60 seconds per mile slower now and my A goal was teetering on the brink of not happening. I was at 3 hours, 17 minutes when I hit Mile 20. It would be close, but I really needed to start speeding up again. I did remember that the last 10K was a net downhill and I hoped that this might give me a bit of a boost. Sadly, that elevation chart doesn't tell the whole story. There were still uphills and they were starting to kill me slowly.
 |
| Faking a smile at Mile 21 |
I saw my parents right before Mile 22. My sweet dad asked if I was okay and I was so happy to see them, even for a fleeting moment as I ran by. This was where I was supposed to fuel again....and there you have my one big mistake for this marathon. When you feel like crap and you start slowing down, YOU FUEL. I needed to eat again and I didn't. Perhaps my pace would have picked up if I had fueled my muscles when I was supposed to. But when you're in those later miles in a marathon you're not always thinking clearly.
At Mile 23 I saw my friends Erin and Jason and I yelled to them "Why do I keep doing this?" How awesome is it that Erin snapped a couple pics? What a sight for sore eyes she and her family were!
 |
| Thanks for the pics, Erin! |
At this point, the course took us on a biking trail, and what a wonderful, peaceful change that was in these later miles. Spectators lined the trail and many had posted some funny, inspirational, motivating signs for us to see. Despite feeling so fatigued, I still managed several smiles on this stretch. To get off the trail, we had to cross over the Jennifer Street bridge, but to get up on the bridge required a steady climb on a switchback...definitely unusual for a marathon course! But thankfully it was an easy incline and nothing too taxing. I knew that we had less than 2 miles to go in the race. My miles were still coming in way over pace, but I was well under my "B" goal and well within hitting a second fastest marathon time, so my spirits were still up.
The best thing was that I still hadn't walked at all. Every step of this marathon was RUNNING.
Another couple of miles through neighborhoods before we would hit Madonna Inn property and the finish line. Just a couple more miles.....
I was SO DAMN TIRED. Every step felt like a crawl (it actually was a crawl....Mile 25 was 11:20!), but at least I was still moving forward.
My mom warned me about the very last hill you climb as you enter Madonna property. It doesn't look bad until you have to run it after 4 hours. And she was right....that hill was short and AWFUL. I was barely shuffling as I trudged up it. But I knew as soon as I crested it, it was a downhill quarter mile to the finish and I would finally be done.
You couldn't wipe that smile off my face if you tried as I finished out those last couple minutes of my 10th marathon...in my hometown....with my parents waiting at the finish line.
4:25:33 - my second fastest! During what was by far the absolute most difficult course I had run.
It was worth every single hill!
I'm already registered for the 2015 SLO Marathon. There's no way I'd miss running this race again. It was perfection.
And those friends I kept wishing were with me while I was running? They better get their butts out there with me.
How could they possibly resist THIS the day after the race???....
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| Baileyana Winery on Orcutt Road |
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| Edna Valley Vineyards at Mile 19 on the course |
Spending time with my family, with friends, winning my age group in a 5K, completing my 10th marathon, conquering hills, running through vineyards in my hometown....I'd say I had a really REALLY great weekend. I even read 3 books while I was gone. Sign me up for next year (oh wait....I DID)....
Tuesday, April 8, 2014
What's wrong with my faith?
I'm going to admit to something really big. Something hard to admit. Something I have had a difficult time understanding.
I've lost some of my faith. By faith, I mean my Christian faith.
I've been Christian since I was young. In the last ten years, my husband and I have made our faith a much bigger priority in our lives. We introduced our toddler to church while I was expecting our second child and have been consistent church-goers since.
However, at least for me, something changed in the last few years. I was a strong Christian before I lost my sister. I can now safely say that while I am still Christian, it's not the center of my universe. I had an epiphany the other day on why this has happened.
If I am to believe everything in the bible, then I know for a fact that I will not see my sister in heaven. As far as I know, she was not a believer. If she was not a believer, then she is not in heaven. On the day she died, my pastor tried to reassure me that I may not know for sure the level of my sister's faith at her death and that perhaps our God is a more merciful God than we will ever know. It brought me comfort at the time and I've clung to that hope.
But in the 4 1/2 years since I lost Trisha, I have slowly felt my faith slip away. I have gone through anxiety and depression, a lot of anger, I went through counseling, I struggled to find more meaning in my life, I have prayed to exhaustion. But still, no matter how much I turned to God, I felt my faith diminishing.
I am really struggling with the concept that I will never see my sister again, here on Earth or in Heaven. I miss her with every ounce of my being. She was an incredible sister, and is sometimes the only person I want to talk to on my darkest days.
But my faith offers me NO comfort in those moments. If I don't have the promise of an eternal life with her, then how is God supposed to comfort me in my deepest moments of grief? Do I want to continue to believe in God when it is offering me little comfort to get through the worst thing I have ever experienced?
I want to regain my faith, believe me I do. I continue to sporadically attend church and when I am there I am engaged. My husband is one of the strongest Christians I know. I live in a faith-centered community. But I also want to have hope. I want to see my sister again.
I've lost some of my faith. By faith, I mean my Christian faith.
I've been Christian since I was young. In the last ten years, my husband and I have made our faith a much bigger priority in our lives. We introduced our toddler to church while I was expecting our second child and have been consistent church-goers since.
However, at least for me, something changed in the last few years. I was a strong Christian before I lost my sister. I can now safely say that while I am still Christian, it's not the center of my universe. I had an epiphany the other day on why this has happened.
If I am to believe everything in the bible, then I know for a fact that I will not see my sister in heaven. As far as I know, she was not a believer. If she was not a believer, then she is not in heaven. On the day she died, my pastor tried to reassure me that I may not know for sure the level of my sister's faith at her death and that perhaps our God is a more merciful God than we will ever know. It brought me comfort at the time and I've clung to that hope.
But in the 4 1/2 years since I lost Trisha, I have slowly felt my faith slip away. I have gone through anxiety and depression, a lot of anger, I went through counseling, I struggled to find more meaning in my life, I have prayed to exhaustion. But still, no matter how much I turned to God, I felt my faith diminishing.
I am really struggling with the concept that I will never see my sister again, here on Earth or in Heaven. I miss her with every ounce of my being. She was an incredible sister, and is sometimes the only person I want to talk to on my darkest days.
But my faith offers me NO comfort in those moments. If I don't have the promise of an eternal life with her, then how is God supposed to comfort me in my deepest moments of grief? Do I want to continue to believe in God when it is offering me little comfort to get through the worst thing I have ever experienced?
I want to regain my faith, believe me I do. I continue to sporadically attend church and when I am there I am engaged. My husband is one of the strongest Christians I know. I live in a faith-centered community. But I also want to have hope. I want to see my sister again.
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
2014...Decisions Decisions!
6 weeks into the new year and my race plans are starting to come together for the year. I've tried to force myself not to commit to anything else in the first half of the year, however.
This weekend is the Austin Half Marathon, a race I haven't run since it was my very first race in 2008. Since then I've run the Austin Marathon five years in a row, so I knew that 2014 would be a good break from the full course and instead go back to where I fell in love with running and racing. It's not an "A" race, meaning I won't be attempting a PR. Austin is not an easy course, and I have not been training to run a sub 8:30 pace half. I'd still like to do well and to feel good, so I'll run hard regardless. Then I get to cheer on my Round Rock Fit runners at Mile 26 of the full course. Some of them are running their very first full marathon and for the first time since I started coaching, I'm going to be there cheering for them as they finish up that last mile.
Next month is my fifth year running in the Texas Independence Relay, and that race will serve as training for my April marathon in San Luis Obispo. It's a lot of tough running coming up, and my focus really needs to be on keeping my endurance up and staying in marathon shape.
I've gotten back on my bike and back in the pool, although with hesitation. I've only swam twice since October, and am happy to say I don't think I lost too much of my form, although my speed (of which I had little) has suffered. It will take time to get my comfort back, but I'll slowly peck away at it. This past Saturday I did my first outdoor ride in a very long time and I forgot how tough hills can be in cycling! It was a good ride, but slow and fairly difficult. I'm going to continue to try to incorporate rides into my schedule in the next few months.
I will not be doing long distance over the summer like I did last summer. I need the break during the hottest months. Instead I'll be getting on my bike more and keeping the runs under 90 minutes. There won't be any crazy 30K trail runs in my racing schedule this year!
A triathlon is still in the cards, but I haven't picked exactly which ones I will do. And I won't make that decision until April or May. I need to focus on my upcoming races, especially my marathon, and I need to get more comfortable being back on my bike and in the pool before I decide what race is right for me. I can't have the distraction of committing to a triathlon in my head just yet. A lot of people want to know what races I'm going to do and I simply can't answer that question yet.
The only late year race I had in my plans was running the BCS half marathon again in December. I had so much fun running it in 2013 that I couldn't resist the early registration price and signed up. I will be committing to running the Houston marathon again for January 2015 and early registration for that is in May (I'm thrilled my qualifying time from January 2013 is still valid!). But otherwise, I planned to put the breaks on any race registrations.
BUT THEN.....
My friend Tricia asked me to join a relay team.
Not just ANY relay...a TRAIL RELAY. In October. In Texas Hill Country.
A SPONSORED trail relay in October in Texas Hill Country. That's right...I'd be part of a team sponsored by Nuun.
How could I say no to that? Tricia is one of my best friends, I know she'll put together a great team, and relays are my favorite kinds of races. The answer was an almost immediate yes.
The more I read about this race, the more excited I get. Three different trail loops of differing terrain and distances that every team member runs, a central Ragnar Village location where we hang out, camp, and have fun. Right now we have 5 of our 8 members picked and I love each and every one of the women on the team.
SO....
I really REALLY won't be committing to anything else until April!
REALLY.
So stop asking.
This weekend is the Austin Half Marathon, a race I haven't run since it was my very first race in 2008. Since then I've run the Austin Marathon five years in a row, so I knew that 2014 would be a good break from the full course and instead go back to where I fell in love with running and racing. It's not an "A" race, meaning I won't be attempting a PR. Austin is not an easy course, and I have not been training to run a sub 8:30 pace half. I'd still like to do well and to feel good, so I'll run hard regardless. Then I get to cheer on my Round Rock Fit runners at Mile 26 of the full course. Some of them are running their very first full marathon and for the first time since I started coaching, I'm going to be there cheering for them as they finish up that last mile.
Next month is my fifth year running in the Texas Independence Relay, and that race will serve as training for my April marathon in San Luis Obispo. It's a lot of tough running coming up, and my focus really needs to be on keeping my endurance up and staying in marathon shape.
I've gotten back on my bike and back in the pool, although with hesitation. I've only swam twice since October, and am happy to say I don't think I lost too much of my form, although my speed (of which I had little) has suffered. It will take time to get my comfort back, but I'll slowly peck away at it. This past Saturday I did my first outdoor ride in a very long time and I forgot how tough hills can be in cycling! It was a good ride, but slow and fairly difficult. I'm going to continue to try to incorporate rides into my schedule in the next few months.
I will not be doing long distance over the summer like I did last summer. I need the break during the hottest months. Instead I'll be getting on my bike more and keeping the runs under 90 minutes. There won't be any crazy 30K trail runs in my racing schedule this year!
A triathlon is still in the cards, but I haven't picked exactly which ones I will do. And I won't make that decision until April or May. I need to focus on my upcoming races, especially my marathon, and I need to get more comfortable being back on my bike and in the pool before I decide what race is right for me. I can't have the distraction of committing to a triathlon in my head just yet. A lot of people want to know what races I'm going to do and I simply can't answer that question yet.
The only late year race I had in my plans was running the BCS half marathon again in December. I had so much fun running it in 2013 that I couldn't resist the early registration price and signed up. I will be committing to running the Houston marathon again for January 2015 and early registration for that is in May (I'm thrilled my qualifying time from January 2013 is still valid!). But otherwise, I planned to put the breaks on any race registrations.
BUT THEN.....
My friend Tricia asked me to join a relay team.
Not just ANY relay...a TRAIL RELAY. In October. In Texas Hill Country.
A SPONSORED trail relay in October in Texas Hill Country. That's right...I'd be part of a team sponsored by Nuun.
How could I say no to that? Tricia is one of my best friends, I know she'll put together a great team, and relays are my favorite kinds of races. The answer was an almost immediate yes.
The more I read about this race, the more excited I get. Three different trail loops of differing terrain and distances that every team member runs, a central Ragnar Village location where we hang out, camp, and have fun. Right now we have 5 of our 8 members picked and I love each and every one of the women on the team.
SO....
I really REALLY won't be committing to anything else until April!
REALLY.
So stop asking.
Friday, January 24, 2014
An *almost* Perfect Marathon
I love Houston. Even with the traffic, the questionable air quality, and the humidity, I love this town. It's been very very good to me.
I ran my 9th marathon there on January 19, my first marathon in my new age group. My first race over 40.
What a damn fine marathon it was!
Back in 2012 I did train to run a sub-4 hour marathon and was in peak shape going into the BCS Marathon in December of that year. However, asthma combined with hot temps and humidity that wouldn't quit derailed that goal. I made up for it by running a fantastic PR half marathon 6 weeks later, but my body was ready for rest at that point. So the sub-4 eluded me. My heart and soul wasn't quite in it to push for that kind of marathon pace in my 2013 training, so my goal for Houston became around a 4:10 or 4:15. I absolutely knew I was in that kind of shape going into the January 19 race. My PR of 4:26:27 is from the 2012 Houston Marathon. My plan was to for sure blow that away.
I *almost* achieved exactly that, but I have zero complaints about not quite reaching my goal range.
4:17:53. 9:50 overall pace. A PR by 8 minutes, 34 seconds
I monitored the weather leading up to the race and it was looking pretty great. A start temp of the upper 40s, and hopefully not above 60 by the finish time. Mostly clear skies and best of all....NO HUMIDITY. As a matter of fact, when I checked the humidity two days before the race it was at 17%. Unheard of for humid Houston! I'll take 60 degrees of dry weather any day over 50 degrees and 80% humidity. My lungs were going to be happy.
I tried my best to rest as much as I could leading up to the weekend, but I still had to teach some classes at work. I probably participated a little more than I should have but it's very hard to effectively teach circuit and plyometrics training without demonstration. I stretched and foam rolled and ran very very easy miles during the week. I put most of my concentration into my nutrition and hydration and I think I prepared very well in those areas. Hydration is the most important part of running a marathon. Water and electrolytes leading up to and during the entire race are key to keeping your body moving without cramping up. The "wall" can be avoided if you're a stickler for consistent and effective hydration.
I spent time at the Expo on Saturday but also stayed off my feet for most of the day. I was nervous and excited and freaking out all at the same time.
My running husband Tony was staying at the same hotel as me, and despite my insistence that he run his own race since I knew he could break 4 hours, he really wanted to start the race with me (he won running buddy points right there). So we headed to the start together and hoped to run into some friends before the race. We finally did see friendly faces in our corral right before the start. Dan and John were running the full while Erica, the smartest one of us all, was running the half. John's goal was 4:15...PERFECT! I hoped I'd see him a lot during the race. Tony still wasn't committing to a sub-4 (sandbagger). Dan and Erica are stupid fast, so they started ahead of us. But I was happy to see other friends to calm my nerves before the start.
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I had a 4:10 plan in my head and hoped my body would respond well to what I wanted to do. I wouldn't look at my Garmin to check my current pace after the first mile, however. Over the last 2 years I've gotten used to running by feel and wasn't going to change that. The marathon has timing mats every 5K and at the halfway point and I had 5K goals I hoped to hit. If I did hit them all, I'd be at 4:10. It was my overall goal, but considering my PR was 4:26, I had a lot of room for a happy outcome at the finish. It was relaxing to not put a huge amount of pressure on myself.
I executed my goals just about perfectly through 15K and hit my targets well. Tony stayed with me for about 8 miles and I slowly let him move ahead of me. John had taken off right at the start, and I had yet to see him on the course. My plan was to speed up for the middle third and then level off and allow for a little slowdown at the end. However, I ended up maintaining pace for those middle miles without speeding up. I started to feel fatigue in my quads at about mile 10 that surprised me a bit, but I knew I just needed to keep moving. My miles were coming in around 9:30-9:35, which wasn't bad at all, just not quite what I hoped my body would be comfortable running. At the halfway point I was at 2:07:31, my fastest first half in any marathon I had run. I felt decent despite the fatigue, and planned to just hold onto my current pace as long as I could. One mile at a time, one foot in front of the other, focusing on hydrating and fueling, feeding off the awesome crowds.
I love the fact that there are timing mats every 5K and anyone who is tracking a runner gets notification every time they cross a mat. I knew Greg was eagerly following my race, so I concentrated on making it 5K at a time. If I could keep doing this, I wouldn't give in to any desire to walk and my splits would come in even and consistent. It was good motivation to run the entire distance. I wanted my 5K splits to look good!
Once I crept up on the 20 mile mark I knew I was slowing down and the fatigue was getting worse. Mentally, however, I really was totally fine. I didn't have an urge to walk, I knew I had another hour of running in me, and I was a very happy runner. In pain, but happy. It was my fastest 20 miles in a marathon. The sun was out, it was warming up, and I had to dump a lot of water over my head to keep from overheating in those last miles. I'm sure the warmth had an effect on my pace. I kept thinking of all those 20 mile training runs I did and how I kept my focus in those last miles. I knew if I could complete all those runs at a good pace, I had it in me to finish this marathon strong. I still had a shot to run about a 4:15 and just had to hold on as best as I could.
At mile 22 I started singing out loud. Hey, whatever works...if singing Blurred Lines was keeping me moving, then that's what I was going to do.
The spectators were just amazing. They made me smile so many times when they called out my name. Every single step of that race had cheering spectators...sometimes it makes all the difference in the world.
I counted the kilometer mile markers down Memorial Drive. 34K....35K....36K....it was strangely relaxing. I did see my first 10+ minute miles (since my 10:14 Mile 1) during this last stretch, but I was so far ahead of my personal best that it didn't get me down. Sure, I wish I could've been running 9:15 pace instead of 10:30, but if my worst mile of a marathon was going to be a 10:30 then I had nothing to complain about. And I wasn't stopping. I had run every single step so far and I wasn't going to start walking now. I hadn't hit The Wall and the pain wasn't getting any worse. Looking back on it, I think the most painful parts were actually the downhill portions. The uphills weren't bothering me at all, but the downhills just burned my quads.
As soon as I saw the 40K mile marker (in 4:04), I put every effort into just running faster. Only 1.4 miles left...surely I could get my pace down in the 9 minute range for such a short distance. My mental calculations told me I couldn't quite reach a 4:15 after running 10:27 pace from 35K to 40K, but I had my PR in the bag and it was going to be a big one. Besides, the Magical Mile down Lamar Street was coming up. It's a spectacular marathon finish with screaming spectators, skyscrapers, and a ridiculous energy.
Then I saw Lauren (Dan's wife) and Erica with about 3/4 of a mile to go. They screamed my name and I screamed "PR, baby!" right back to them. Lauren captured the moment perfectly with her camera. What a huge boost for those last few minutes.
I started counting down the minutes as I ran down Lamar....and realized I could hit 4:17. The thought of that 4:17 made me cry for that last 1/10th of a mile.
Crossing that finish line felt like nothing else.
4:17:53!
As soon as I got my medal I saw Tony waiting for me. He had run a 4:08, 9 minutes faster than his best marathon time. He said that John had run a 4:14. It was a great day for all of us!
Those first steps after the race were so excruciating. When you're in a rhythm for over 4 hours and you suddenly stop, your body becomes quite unhappy. My lungs were hurting and I couldn't walk any faster than a shuffle. Everyone around me pretty much looked the same, so at least I was in good company.
I think the funniest moment came when we left the convention center to head across the street to the hotel. We had to step off the curb. I stared at that curb for a moment, then decided to turn around and step off backwards. Yes, just one step down and it scared me. Then we had to go up three steps inside the hotel. I really didn't want to and I may have whined a lot about it before sucking it up and going up the steps.
Marathoners can be so pathetic.
So what are my thoughts after this marathon? What have I learned that I can take into the next one?
1. I always wonder during every single marathon at around Mile 22 why I keep signing up for these.
2. I always sign up for another one no matter how many times I say I'm not going to.
3. It's easier to keep running, even if it's slow, than to walk and try to start running again. This was the first time I ran the entire distance non-stop (although in Austin in 2012 I stopped for a minute or two at Mile 17 to wait for a friend in the potty, but ran every mile of the race otherwise).
4. Hydrating early and often, with electrolytes, makes a huge difference in the later miles.
5. Not hitting the Wall is an kickass feeling. It means I did things right.
6. Even after 8 previous marathons, I really feel like I ran this one like a real marathoner. Finally.
7. Breaking 10 minute overall pace? IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME. <-----my favorite
8. Half marathon distance is so superior. But I still won't stop running full marathons.
9. Houston is a spectacular city who hosts an first rate race. Organization, execution, support, swag, spectators, the course....I just love it all.
10. I did this race pretty much on my own. Without anyone pushing me or pacing me or yelling at me. Starting the race with a buddy was great, and if I had run it with a friend the entire way that would have been great, too. But it also feels good that I didn't "need" anyone in order to run well. Although knowing they were probably waiting at the finish was a motivator to keep moving.
11. Mental strength is more important than physical strength after 20 miles.
12. My elation over my own race was made even greater after hearing about all my friends' great races. Seriously, I have awesome friends who ran such strong races and hearing about them thrilled me!
13. The only proper thing to have post marathon is a cheeseburger and a rum and coke. And cookies. And a hot shower. And flip flops.
14. I'll probably keep most of my thoughts from Miles 20-26 to myself.
15. Pacing a 5 hour group for a marathon sounds pretty good right now. Or 6 hours. Yeah, I could pull off 6 hours.
Marathon #10? I've got 3 more months....
.JPG)
I ran my 9th marathon there on January 19, my first marathon in my new age group. My first race over 40.
What a damn fine marathon it was!
Back in 2012 I did train to run a sub-4 hour marathon and was in peak shape going into the BCS Marathon in December of that year. However, asthma combined with hot temps and humidity that wouldn't quit derailed that goal. I made up for it by running a fantastic PR half marathon 6 weeks later, but my body was ready for rest at that point. So the sub-4 eluded me. My heart and soul wasn't quite in it to push for that kind of marathon pace in my 2013 training, so my goal for Houston became around a 4:10 or 4:15. I absolutely knew I was in that kind of shape going into the January 19 race. My PR of 4:26:27 is from the 2012 Houston Marathon. My plan was to for sure blow that away.
I *almost* achieved exactly that, but I have zero complaints about not quite reaching my goal range.
4:17:53. 9:50 overall pace. A PR by 8 minutes, 34 seconds
I monitored the weather leading up to the race and it was looking pretty great. A start temp of the upper 40s, and hopefully not above 60 by the finish time. Mostly clear skies and best of all....NO HUMIDITY. As a matter of fact, when I checked the humidity two days before the race it was at 17%. Unheard of for humid Houston! I'll take 60 degrees of dry weather any day over 50 degrees and 80% humidity. My lungs were going to be happy.
.JPG) |
| Houston, baby!! What a beautiful day |
I tried my best to rest as much as I could leading up to the weekend, but I still had to teach some classes at work. I probably participated a little more than I should have but it's very hard to effectively teach circuit and plyometrics training without demonstration. I stretched and foam rolled and ran very very easy miles during the week. I put most of my concentration into my nutrition and hydration and I think I prepared very well in those areas. Hydration is the most important part of running a marathon. Water and electrolytes leading up to and during the entire race are key to keeping your body moving without cramping up. The "wall" can be avoided if you're a stickler for consistent and effective hydration.
I spent time at the Expo on Saturday but also stayed off my feet for most of the day. I was nervous and excited and freaking out all at the same time.
 |
| Going for obnoxious bright and girly |
 |
| Game Time |
My running husband Tony was staying at the same hotel as me, and despite my insistence that he run his own race since I knew he could break 4 hours, he really wanted to start the race with me (he won running buddy points right there). So we headed to the start together and hoped to run into some friends before the race. We finally did see friendly faces in our corral right before the start. Dan and John were running the full while Erica, the smartest one of us all, was running the half. John's goal was 4:15...PERFECT! I hoped I'd see him a lot during the race. Tony still wasn't committing to a sub-4 (sandbagger). Dan and Erica are stupid fast, so they started ahead of us. But I was happy to see other friends to calm my nerves before the start.
 |
| Everyone needs a pic while standing in a porta-potty line, right? |
I had a 4:10 plan in my head and hoped my body would respond well to what I wanted to do. I wouldn't look at my Garmin to check my current pace after the first mile, however. Over the last 2 years I've gotten used to running by feel and wasn't going to change that. The marathon has timing mats every 5K and at the halfway point and I had 5K goals I hoped to hit. If I did hit them all, I'd be at 4:10. It was my overall goal, but considering my PR was 4:26, I had a lot of room for a happy outcome at the finish. It was relaxing to not put a huge amount of pressure on myself.
I executed my goals just about perfectly through 15K and hit my targets well. Tony stayed with me for about 8 miles and I slowly let him move ahead of me. John had taken off right at the start, and I had yet to see him on the course. My plan was to speed up for the middle third and then level off and allow for a little slowdown at the end. However, I ended up maintaining pace for those middle miles without speeding up. I started to feel fatigue in my quads at about mile 10 that surprised me a bit, but I knew I just needed to keep moving. My miles were coming in around 9:30-9:35, which wasn't bad at all, just not quite what I hoped my body would be comfortable running. At the halfway point I was at 2:07:31, my fastest first half in any marathon I had run. I felt decent despite the fatigue, and planned to just hold onto my current pace as long as I could. One mile at a time, one foot in front of the other, focusing on hydrating and fueling, feeding off the awesome crowds.
 |
| Several miles into the race, feeling pretty good! |
I love the fact that there are timing mats every 5K and anyone who is tracking a runner gets notification every time they cross a mat. I knew Greg was eagerly following my race, so I concentrated on making it 5K at a time. If I could keep doing this, I wouldn't give in to any desire to walk and my splits would come in even and consistent. It was good motivation to run the entire distance. I wanted my 5K splits to look good!
Once I crept up on the 20 mile mark I knew I was slowing down and the fatigue was getting worse. Mentally, however, I really was totally fine. I didn't have an urge to walk, I knew I had another hour of running in me, and I was a very happy runner. In pain, but happy. It was my fastest 20 miles in a marathon. The sun was out, it was warming up, and I had to dump a lot of water over my head to keep from overheating in those last miles. I'm sure the warmth had an effect on my pace. I kept thinking of all those 20 mile training runs I did and how I kept my focus in those last miles. I knew if I could complete all those runs at a good pace, I had it in me to finish this marathon strong. I still had a shot to run about a 4:15 and just had to hold on as best as I could.
At mile 22 I started singing out loud. Hey, whatever works...if singing Blurred Lines was keeping me moving, then that's what I was going to do.
The spectators were just amazing. They made me smile so many times when they called out my name. Every single step of that race had cheering spectators...sometimes it makes all the difference in the world.
I counted the kilometer mile markers down Memorial Drive. 34K....35K....36K....it was strangely relaxing. I did see my first 10+ minute miles (since my 10:14 Mile 1) during this last stretch, but I was so far ahead of my personal best that it didn't get me down. Sure, I wish I could've been running 9:15 pace instead of 10:30, but if my worst mile of a marathon was going to be a 10:30 then I had nothing to complain about. And I wasn't stopping. I had run every single step so far and I wasn't going to start walking now. I hadn't hit The Wall and the pain wasn't getting any worse. Looking back on it, I think the most painful parts were actually the downhill portions. The uphills weren't bothering me at all, but the downhills just burned my quads.
 |
| Mile 24 |
As soon as I saw the 40K mile marker (in 4:04), I put every effort into just running faster. Only 1.4 miles left...surely I could get my pace down in the 9 minute range for such a short distance. My mental calculations told me I couldn't quite reach a 4:15 after running 10:27 pace from 35K to 40K, but I had my PR in the bag and it was going to be a big one. Besides, the Magical Mile down Lamar Street was coming up. It's a spectacular marathon finish with screaming spectators, skyscrapers, and a ridiculous energy.
Then I saw Lauren (Dan's wife) and Erica with about 3/4 of a mile to go. They screamed my name and I screamed "PR, baby!" right back to them. Lauren captured the moment perfectly with her camera. What a huge boost for those last few minutes.
I started counting down the minutes as I ran down Lamar....and realized I could hit 4:17. The thought of that 4:17 made me cry for that last 1/10th of a mile.
Crossing that finish line felt like nothing else.
4:17:53!
As soon as I got my medal I saw Tony waiting for me. He had run a 4:08, 9 minutes faster than his best marathon time. He said that John had run a 4:14. It was a great day for all of us!
Those first steps after the race were so excruciating. When you're in a rhythm for over 4 hours and you suddenly stop, your body becomes quite unhappy. My lungs were hurting and I couldn't walk any faster than a shuffle. Everyone around me pretty much looked the same, so at least I was in good company.
 |
| Yeah, we're happy we're done. Now, where's the chocolate milk?? |
I think the funniest moment came when we left the convention center to head across the street to the hotel. We had to step off the curb. I stared at that curb for a moment, then decided to turn around and step off backwards. Yes, just one step down and it scared me. Then we had to go up three steps inside the hotel. I really didn't want to and I may have whined a lot about it before sucking it up and going up the steps.
Marathoners can be so pathetic.
So what are my thoughts after this marathon? What have I learned that I can take into the next one?
1. I always wonder during every single marathon at around Mile 22 why I keep signing up for these.
2. I always sign up for another one no matter how many times I say I'm not going to.
3. It's easier to keep running, even if it's slow, than to walk and try to start running again. This was the first time I ran the entire distance non-stop (although in Austin in 2012 I stopped for a minute or two at Mile 17 to wait for a friend in the potty, but ran every mile of the race otherwise).
4. Hydrating early and often, with electrolytes, makes a huge difference in the later miles.
5. Not hitting the Wall is an kickass feeling. It means I did things right.
6. Even after 8 previous marathons, I really feel like I ran this one like a real marathoner. Finally.
7. Breaking 10 minute overall pace? IT'S ABOUT FREAKING TIME. <-----my favorite
8. Half marathon distance is so superior. But I still won't stop running full marathons.
9. Houston is a spectacular city who hosts an first rate race. Organization, execution, support, swag, spectators, the course....I just love it all.
10. I did this race pretty much on my own. Without anyone pushing me or pacing me or yelling at me. Starting the race with a buddy was great, and if I had run it with a friend the entire way that would have been great, too. But it also feels good that I didn't "need" anyone in order to run well. Although knowing they were probably waiting at the finish was a motivator to keep moving.
11. Mental strength is more important than physical strength after 20 miles.
12. My elation over my own race was made even greater after hearing about all my friends' great races. Seriously, I have awesome friends who ran such strong races and hearing about them thrilled me!
13. The only proper thing to have post marathon is a cheeseburger and a rum and coke. And cookies. And a hot shower. And flip flops.
14. I'll probably keep most of my thoughts from Miles 20-26 to myself.
15. Pacing a 5 hour group for a marathon sounds pretty good right now. Or 6 hours. Yeah, I could pull off 6 hours.
Marathon #10? I've got 3 more months....
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
The race I wasn't supposed to race
Many, many months ago I had it in my head that I could run a sub 1:50 half marathon at BCS (Bryan/College Station) this year. Had my heart truly been in it, I suppose that yes, I could've. That's about an 8:22 pace, and I ran about an 8:30 at 3M at the beginning of the year.
The summer didn't really go as I had planned. My pace suffered as I just wasn't able to tough it out through the heat and humidity quite like I had in 2012. The night trail race I did in August really took it out of me and forced me to refocus a bit. I needed to concentrate on my upcoming marathon and not a new PR. So BCS would then become a "training run"....a fast training run, as I still planned to break 2 hours, but not anything near 8:22 pace.
I traveled to College Station with several of my triathlon group friends and they all assured me that yes, I would be racing this. It was more than a training run and I needed to give it my all. I told them that my best would be breaking 9 min overall pace. I think it appeased them at the time.
The weather leading up to the race was a bit brutal. The morning before was in the mid-20s with winds, bringing the windchill down into the low teens. Thankfully the icy weather was supposed to move out by race morning, with temps right around freezing, but no wind forecasted. Brutal to stand around in while waiting for the race to start, but great for the actual running. I fretted several times about what to wear, but ultimately decided capris and my long sleeve Team Luke's shirt with gloves and a hat would be just fine. I was kind of curious about how my body would respond to the cold and if I'd run faster subconsciously.
I started the race with my training buddies Tony and Paul, but I knew both would jump ahead of me and I'd likely not see them again until the finish. Tony would run under 1:50 and Paul was shooting for sub 2 hours, but I knew he'd be well under that. I thought a 1:57 would be just fine for me. Sure enough, they were gone after about the first half mile. The first 2 miles were exactly as I'd hoped at 9:40 and 9:15. I was running by feel and not checking my pace on my Garmin, but rather just glancing at my mile splits in case I needed to adjust. If they were coming in faster than I thought, but I felt good I wasn't going to intentionally slow down.
Mile 3 came and went with a little drama. One bridge that we needed to cross hadn't been sanded the night before after we got some unexpected freezing rain, and it was iced over. I had to walk across it so I wouldn't slip. Thankfully I didn't see anyone fall, but it was a little worrisome. I hoped the remaining overpasses would have sand on them, as I knew the temps would never get above freezing during the race and the ice wouldn't have a chance to melt. Surprisingly, that mile still came in at 9:00 even. I thought for sure I'd lost more time by walking, but I must have been running much faster than it felt. This gave me a huge mental boost. I honestly felt great.
The first 5k came in at just under 29 minutes I think. I was trying to pay a little attention to splits, so I could be sure I was increasing my pace enough throughout to hit a 1:57. I was right where I wanted to be. My best racing comes when I start slow and run progressively faster, with my last mile my fastest.
It was after 4 miles that I decided this would be a race after all. I felt great, really great. Already 4 miles in, running 8:45 pace and it felt much slower, knowing I could continually increase my pace as the miles ticked off. Why not race it? It wouldn't be a PR, but I could certainly make it my second fastest half marathon by a long shot.
The middle miles were pretty uneventful. I had warmed up, the spectators were a lot of fun, I chatted here and there with other runners (it was a good feeling to still be able to talk during the race!), and I was amazed anyone was out volunteering for the race in that cold weather.
10k came through in the 55 minute range and I had dropped to under 9 minute overall pace. I just needed to hold onto this for the second half and I'd have my second fastest time. But I really thought I could keep going faster. I concentrated a lot on just making it to the mile markers, by realizing that it was less than an hour of running left, that the A&M campus was pretty fabulous to run through, and there were a lot of college boys hanging around. Hey, whatever gets you through, right?
During mile 8 I started chatting with a few college girls as we ran through campus. At one point, I said "only 5 miles until the beer". They got silent. I realized that they weren't old enough to drink yet. So then I told them only 5 miles until I got to drink their beer.
We went across a timing mat at just under 9 miles and my watch said 1:19. I was definitely having a good race. I hoped to run about 8:20 pace for the remainder of the race. For some reason my poor math skills told me that would give me a 1:56.
During mile 11 I saw Christine come out of the porto-potty and I yelled to her. She and Joe had started ahead of us, and I knew she must have been having a fantastic race to be running sub-9 WITH a potty stop. It took me about a half mile to catch her and as I was passing her, she says to me "What took you so long?" Aw, I love that lady. I also knew that she was not about to let me beat her and I expected that she'd be breathing down my neck for the last couple miles.
I could also see Paul up ahead of me. I honestly tried to speed up just a bit to tuck in right behind him for the rest of the race so we could finish close together, but that man was on a mission. I was afraid of speeding up too much and blowing up at the end as a result, so I played it conservative. I was gaining on him slowly, but we were running out of miles very quickly. He was certainly a really awesome rabbit for me to go after those last couple miles, however. It kept my focus off the fact that I had been running for over 90 minutes and was now running about 8:10 pace.
As we were nearing the last quarter mile I got within about 2 seconds of him and yelled to him, but with his earphones in he couldn't hear me at all. As soon as we passed the 13 mile marker and could see the finish line, that man seriously turned on the afterburners. I tried hard to keep pace but there was absolutely no way I was catching him. This whole time I expected Christine to come cruising by me, but I didn't see her yet.
I glanced at the finish clock and it read 1:56. I was pretty shocked. I hadn't paid much attention to my watch the last couple miles and had no idea I was running a 1:54 race (we started 2 minutes after the gun).
As I crossed the line, I saw my teammates....Tony (1:48), Joe (1:49), and Paul (1:54). Less than 3 minutes after my finish, Christine crossed the line at 1:57. We had all had amazing races. We left it all out there on the course and had run better than expected. Tony tried to complain that he didn't run 1:46 like he really wanted to but I told him to shut up. Joe blew away last year's BCS time by almost 30 minutes. I got a hug from race director Chris Field and the kids from the Down Syndrome Association of Brazos Valley gave us our medals. Perfect finish!
I had no idea I had a 1:54 in me that day, but I was beyond thrilled. And this came 8 days after a strong 20-mile training run.
I need to give myself a little more credit. With my official 1:54:47 I placed 19th in my age group of 180 people, 102 out of 1348 women, 302 out of 2051 overall, and I was 3rd overall and the fastest female out of all 39 year olds. I just didn't expect this at all, and I am still (9 days later) so damn excited. This was my last race in this age group.
I think there's a sub 1:50 in me after all!!
(FYI....I'm already signed up for 2014....THIS IS THE BEST RACE I'VE EVER RUN IN TEXAS!!!)
The summer didn't really go as I had planned. My pace suffered as I just wasn't able to tough it out through the heat and humidity quite like I had in 2012. The night trail race I did in August really took it out of me and forced me to refocus a bit. I needed to concentrate on my upcoming marathon and not a new PR. So BCS would then become a "training run"....a fast training run, as I still planned to break 2 hours, but not anything near 8:22 pace.
I traveled to College Station with several of my triathlon group friends and they all assured me that yes, I would be racing this. It was more than a training run and I needed to give it my all. I told them that my best would be breaking 9 min overall pace. I think it appeased them at the time.
The weather leading up to the race was a bit brutal. The morning before was in the mid-20s with winds, bringing the windchill down into the low teens. Thankfully the icy weather was supposed to move out by race morning, with temps right around freezing, but no wind forecasted. Brutal to stand around in while waiting for the race to start, but great for the actual running. I fretted several times about what to wear, but ultimately decided capris and my long sleeve Team Luke's shirt with gloves and a hat would be just fine. I was kind of curious about how my body would respond to the cold and if I'd run faster subconsciously.
I started the race with my training buddies Tony and Paul, but I knew both would jump ahead of me and I'd likely not see them again until the finish. Tony would run under 1:50 and Paul was shooting for sub 2 hours, but I knew he'd be well under that. I thought a 1:57 would be just fine for me. Sure enough, they were gone after about the first half mile. The first 2 miles were exactly as I'd hoped at 9:40 and 9:15. I was running by feel and not checking my pace on my Garmin, but rather just glancing at my mile splits in case I needed to adjust. If they were coming in faster than I thought, but I felt good I wasn't going to intentionally slow down.
_0001.jpg) |
| Me and Tony at the start. Yes, I made fun of his tights. There's a little glimpse of Paul behind us, too. |
Mile 3 came and went with a little drama. One bridge that we needed to cross hadn't been sanded the night before after we got some unexpected freezing rain, and it was iced over. I had to walk across it so I wouldn't slip. Thankfully I didn't see anyone fall, but it was a little worrisome. I hoped the remaining overpasses would have sand on them, as I knew the temps would never get above freezing during the race and the ice wouldn't have a chance to melt. Surprisingly, that mile still came in at 9:00 even. I thought for sure I'd lost more time by walking, but I must have been running much faster than it felt. This gave me a huge mental boost. I honestly felt great.
The first 5k came in at just under 29 minutes I think. I was trying to pay a little attention to splits, so I could be sure I was increasing my pace enough throughout to hit a 1:57. I was right where I wanted to be. My best racing comes when I start slow and run progressively faster, with my last mile my fastest.
It was after 4 miles that I decided this would be a race after all. I felt great, really great. Already 4 miles in, running 8:45 pace and it felt much slower, knowing I could continually increase my pace as the miles ticked off. Why not race it? It wouldn't be a PR, but I could certainly make it my second fastest half marathon by a long shot.
The middle miles were pretty uneventful. I had warmed up, the spectators were a lot of fun, I chatted here and there with other runners (it was a good feeling to still be able to talk during the race!), and I was amazed anyone was out volunteering for the race in that cold weather.
10k came through in the 55 minute range and I had dropped to under 9 minute overall pace. I just needed to hold onto this for the second half and I'd have my second fastest time. But I really thought I could keep going faster. I concentrated a lot on just making it to the mile markers, by realizing that it was less than an hour of running left, that the A&M campus was pretty fabulous to run through, and there were a lot of college boys hanging around. Hey, whatever gets you through, right?
During mile 8 I started chatting with a few college girls as we ran through campus. At one point, I said "only 5 miles until the beer". They got silent. I realized that they weren't old enough to drink yet. So then I told them only 5 miles until I got to drink their beer.
We went across a timing mat at just under 9 miles and my watch said 1:19. I was definitely having a good race. I hoped to run about 8:20 pace for the remainder of the race. For some reason my poor math skills told me that would give me a 1:56.
During mile 11 I saw Christine come out of the porto-potty and I yelled to her. She and Joe had started ahead of us, and I knew she must have been having a fantastic race to be running sub-9 WITH a potty stop. It took me about a half mile to catch her and as I was passing her, she says to me "What took you so long?" Aw, I love that lady. I also knew that she was not about to let me beat her and I expected that she'd be breathing down my neck for the last couple miles.
I could also see Paul up ahead of me. I honestly tried to speed up just a bit to tuck in right behind him for the rest of the race so we could finish close together, but that man was on a mission. I was afraid of speeding up too much and blowing up at the end as a result, so I played it conservative. I was gaining on him slowly, but we were running out of miles very quickly. He was certainly a really awesome rabbit for me to go after those last couple miles, however. It kept my focus off the fact that I had been running for over 90 minutes and was now running about 8:10 pace.
As we were nearing the last quarter mile I got within about 2 seconds of him and yelled to him, but with his earphones in he couldn't hear me at all. As soon as we passed the 13 mile marker and could see the finish line, that man seriously turned on the afterburners. I tried hard to keep pace but there was absolutely no way I was catching him. This whole time I expected Christine to come cruising by me, but I didn't see her yet.
I glanced at the finish clock and it read 1:56. I was pretty shocked. I hadn't paid much attention to my watch the last couple miles and had no idea I was running a 1:54 race (we started 2 minutes after the gun).
As I crossed the line, I saw my teammates....Tony (1:48), Joe (1:49), and Paul (1:54). Less than 3 minutes after my finish, Christine crossed the line at 1:57. We had all had amazing races. We left it all out there on the course and had run better than expected. Tony tried to complain that he didn't run 1:46 like he really wanted to but I told him to shut up. Joe blew away last year's BCS time by almost 30 minutes. I got a hug from race director Chris Field and the kids from the Down Syndrome Association of Brazos Valley gave us our medals. Perfect finish!
I had no idea I had a 1:54 in me that day, but I was beyond thrilled. And this came 8 days after a strong 20-mile training run.
I need to give myself a little more credit. With my official 1:54:47 I placed 19th in my age group of 180 people, 102 out of 1348 women, 302 out of 2051 overall, and I was 3rd overall and the fastest female out of all 39 year olds. I just didn't expect this at all, and I am still (9 days later) so damn excited. This was my last race in this age group.
I think there's a sub 1:50 in me after all!!
(FYI....I'm already signed up for 2014....THIS IS THE BEST RACE I'VE EVER RUN IN TEXAS!!!)
Sunday, October 13, 2013
TRI again next year
My road to Triathlon has had fits and starts, hasn't really been very easy, has made me ridiculously nervous, but after backing out of my June triathlon, I made a full commitment to do a local one in October. I finally put some real time in on my bike, and hired a friend to help me with my swimming, which needed the most help out of the three disciplines.
The race I chose to do was a 400 yard pool swim (much less anxiety in a pool than open water), a 14 mile bike (not too short, not too long), and a 4 mile run (exactly the right distance for my comfort). It was the third race in a series of sprint triathlons at the Georgetown Rec Center, and many of my triathlon group friends would be competing.
Many weeks leading up to the race included 3 swim workouts, as this was my weakest sport. I focused on my form over and over again, increasing the distance in my workouts, up to 2000 yards, concentrating on getting comfortable enough in the pool to feel okay about 16 laps while people watched me (never really developed a huge amount of comfort, but I knew I was ready). I still have trouble with swimming continuously without much break, but I knew I could focus on improving that before triathlon season next year. Just getting me to finish my first race was the most important thing this year.
I don't have a lot of speed on the bike yet, but I'm fairly comfortable with it and knew I could put real effort into 14 miles without wearing myself out too much for the run. My main focus during the bike portion would be to learn to get comfortable racing around other cyclists and developing some steady speed.
I knew I could kick some butt in the run. I have pretty good legs coming off the bike, and my head is good about thinking "it's ONLY 4 miles." I can maintain an uncomfortable threshold pace for a good hour, so running hard for about 34 minutes wasn't scaring me. Plus, it was a 2-loop course, and that would mentally give me a boost going into the second loop.
Fast forward to the week before the race. That Saturday was my scheduled 16 mile run. I started early before my training group to knock out 8 miles prior to the 8 miles the group would be doing. About 6 miles into the run (in the dark, on an uneven dirt path), I took a very hard spill and hurt myself pretty badly. No muscle strains that I could tell, but I was bleeding very badly and had probably bruised myself up. A 1/2 mile walk to the nearest water fountains and parking lot, and then my running buddy ran back to the cars to bring one back to pick me up.
As I assessed the damage in the next two days I started to worry I wouldn't heal up before the triathlon. I was in a lot of pain, I had lost a lot of skin, and the trail rash was awful. I couldn't get into the pool and I couldn't bend my knees enough to bike, plus my hand couldn't handle any pressure on it.
The bright spot was that my running was okay. I ran three days after the accident and it was one of my best runs in awhile (the weather certainly helped). But I still needed to heal more. Thankfully, by Thursday I was able to swim as my wounds had scabbed over enough and by Friday I had enough mobility to have no trouble on the bike.
The race I chose to do was a 400 yard pool swim (much less anxiety in a pool than open water), a 14 mile bike (not too short, not too long), and a 4 mile run (exactly the right distance for my comfort). It was the third race in a series of sprint triathlons at the Georgetown Rec Center, and many of my triathlon group friends would be competing.
Many weeks leading up to the race included 3 swim workouts, as this was my weakest sport. I focused on my form over and over again, increasing the distance in my workouts, up to 2000 yards, concentrating on getting comfortable enough in the pool to feel okay about 16 laps while people watched me (never really developed a huge amount of comfort, but I knew I was ready). I still have trouble with swimming continuously without much break, but I knew I could focus on improving that before triathlon season next year. Just getting me to finish my first race was the most important thing this year.
I don't have a lot of speed on the bike yet, but I'm fairly comfortable with it and knew I could put real effort into 14 miles without wearing myself out too much for the run. My main focus during the bike portion would be to learn to get comfortable racing around other cyclists and developing some steady speed.
I knew I could kick some butt in the run. I have pretty good legs coming off the bike, and my head is good about thinking "it's ONLY 4 miles." I can maintain an uncomfortable threshold pace for a good hour, so running hard for about 34 minutes wasn't scaring me. Plus, it was a 2-loop course, and that would mentally give me a boost going into the second loop.
Fast forward to the week before the race. That Saturday was my scheduled 16 mile run. I started early before my training group to knock out 8 miles prior to the 8 miles the group would be doing. About 6 miles into the run (in the dark, on an uneven dirt path), I took a very hard spill and hurt myself pretty badly. No muscle strains that I could tell, but I was bleeding very badly and had probably bruised myself up. A 1/2 mile walk to the nearest water fountains and parking lot, and then my running buddy ran back to the cars to bring one back to pick me up.
 |
| Right after I fell and got the bleeding to stop |
As I assessed the damage in the next two days I started to worry I wouldn't heal up before the triathlon. I was in a lot of pain, I had lost a lot of skin, and the trail rash was awful. I couldn't get into the pool and I couldn't bend my knees enough to bike, plus my hand couldn't handle any pressure on it.
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| 2 days post-fall. Swollen and ouchie. |
The bright spot was that my running was okay. I ran three days after the accident and it was one of my best runs in awhile (the weather certainly helped). But I still needed to heal more. Thankfully, by Thursday I was able to swim as my wounds had scabbed over enough and by Friday I had enough mobility to have no trouble on the bike.
Have I mentioned that during all this I have a sick husband I've been trying to avoid for a week?
Now we had to contend with the weather forecast for race day. In the days leading up to the weekend the forecast kept getting worse and worse. It called for steady thunderstorms throughout the weekend and naturally, some pretty bad humidity. I was having trouble with my asthma this month, so that was going to be something to watch for. I was hoping that by Saturday there would be a forecast shift and the rain would either come early, late, or just pass us by (which made me feel guilty, because we really need the rain). As I went to bed Saturday night, after preparing all my race gear, I continued to hold out hope but it wasn't looking good.
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Around 2:45 in the morning, I awoke to the thunderstorms and never fell back asleep. The rain wasn't stopping. There's always a chance it can clear enough to race, so I loaded up the car and drove to Georgetown ready to kick some butt anyway. But at this point, I knew in my heart the race would be cancelled.
Sure enough, at 7am the race was cancelled. After reviewing all the weather models, consulting with USAT and the police department, and putting the racers safety first, the race director had to deliver the bad news to us. It was the right call. There was another system coming in around 8am, and we couldn't even start the race until at least 30 minutes after the last strike of lightning (pool rules). By then it would be too late to hold the race.
I admit I almost cried. I really was ready to race, despite all my nerves. I knew that once I got in the pool and calmed down it would have been fine. I probably would've swam faster than expected, I would have had fun out on the bike, and as long as my asthma was kept under check, my race legs would have kicked some major butt on that run course. My first triathlon would've exceeded my expectations and I would've made Georgetown Triathletes (my club) proud.
Now we had to contend with the weather forecast for race day. In the days leading up to the weekend the forecast kept getting worse and worse. It called for steady thunderstorms throughout the weekend and naturally, some pretty bad humidity. I was having trouble with my asthma this month, so that was going to be something to watch for. I was hoping that by Saturday there would be a forecast shift and the rain would either come early, late, or just pass us by (which made me feel guilty, because we really need the rain). As I went to bed Saturday night, after preparing all my race gear, I continued to hold out hope but it wasn't looking good.
.JPG)
Around 2:45 in the morning, I awoke to the thunderstorms and never fell back asleep. The rain wasn't stopping. There's always a chance it can clear enough to race, so I loaded up the car and drove to Georgetown ready to kick some butt anyway. But at this point, I knew in my heart the race would be cancelled.
Sure enough, at 7am the race was cancelled. After reviewing all the weather models, consulting with USAT and the police department, and putting the racers safety first, the race director had to deliver the bad news to us. It was the right call. There was another system coming in around 8am, and we couldn't even start the race until at least 30 minutes after the last strike of lightning (pool rules). By then it would be too late to hold the race.
I admit I almost cried. I really was ready to race, despite all my nerves. I knew that once I got in the pool and calmed down it would have been fine. I probably would've swam faster than expected, I would have had fun out on the bike, and as long as my asthma was kept under check, my race legs would have kicked some major butt on that run course. My first triathlon would've exceeded my expectations and I would've made Georgetown Triathletes (my club) proud.
I didn't realize just how much I wanted it until I didn't get the chance to achieve it.
But it wasn't meant to be. And I'm thankful that we got all this glorious rain.
My Venti Starbucks Mocha enjoyed with my teammates was my consolation prize. I'll take it.
But it wasn't meant to be. And I'm thankful that we got all this glorious rain.
My Venti Starbucks Mocha enjoyed with my teammates was my consolation prize. I'll take it.
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