Change my attitude

When in training, it is SO EASY to fall into the trap of focusing first on what went wrong with each workout, on the negative parts of how your body is feeling. It's easy....and a surefire way to totally derail your goals.

I am trying to catch myself from falling into this trap on a daily basis right now. As you know from my last blog post, I am definitely struggling with the weather. It's hard to train right now. I'm still working through some physical discomforts from my last training cycle that are sometimes frustrating to me.

HOWEVER, here's what I'm going to do. For every single negative thing I feel before, during, or after a training session, I am going to think of and WRITE DOWN (I have an old school training journal for this cycle) a positive. Because there is ALWAYS a positive.

Heck, I'm using a whole lot of all caps just to get this point across to myself!

Yesterday, I ran my longest run since the Boston Marathon. 14 miles. FOURTEEN! That's a really big deal to me, especially considering I didn't start base building after my setback until June. But I had some struggles coming into the run. Last week, the weather really wore me down and I was finding it necessary to dial things way back into order to keep my heartrate in check and not overdo it. So, in order to make the run productive and to have a better attitude, I decided on doing a run/walk workout. Run 10 minutes, walk 1 minute. Not ideal, very slow, and I had a terrible time with my right calf muscle tightening up and cramping during the run...but here's where the positives come in:

1. I completed 14 miles without feeling overwhelmed.
2. I didn't feel hot until the last 2 miles, despite it being close to 80 degrees and very humid.
3. My heartrate stayed in the 120s until the last 3 miles, when the breeze died down and I actually started feeling the temp. And even then, it didn't leave Zone 2 until I hit some inclines in the last 1.5 miles.
4. I am not at all sore. Despite my calf having a lot of trouble, I didn't even notice it in the evening last night.
5. Knowing I have some tight muscles forces me to spend some time working on loosening those muscles today before my next workout tomorrow, and being forced to do recovery is never a bad thing.
6. I did a great job in hydrating and consuming electrolytes before and during the run and I think I have dialed in a good fueling strategy.

Our mind is so powerful. We have the ability to achieve our goals, but the wrong mindset and a focus on the wrong things can negate all the hard work we've put in.

If you're struggling with these negative thoughts and putting too much focus on them, I challenge you to write down a positive for every single workout, no matter how poorly you think it went. It really will make a big difference by the time you get to race day.

Weather Blues

I think Austin turned into Houston.

This humidity is atrocious. It was 81 and a dew point of 75 when I started my run yesterday morning, and I might as well have been running in soup because it felt about the same.

I'm struggling in the weather this summer, way more than last year. I had to restart running in June because I rested my inflamed psoas, after already taking time out for marathon recovery, so by the time I got back into it, my fitness was minimal and it was already very warm out in the mornings. I just had no time to acclimate. Then in July I spent three weeks in Southern California, where the temps were easier to bear, despite a heat wave that wouldn't quit (Although, let's not talk about my 75 degree humid-as-heck runs while Austin was enjoying a truly bizarre cold front and 58 degree mornings....RUDE). I could breathe a bit better there than here, which didn't help me stay acclimated to 75 dew points.

I've tried to be patient, and some runs have definitely gone better than others. But I'm still struggling. Yesterday morning's interval run was probably the toughest it's been for me, even though I just ran 12 in 73+ dew point on Sunday (and I thought THAT was bad). It wasn't even a difficult interval run, and yet my heartrate was sky high and my legs felt like lead.

While I know that the weather will start shifting to cooler in another couple weeks, I need to readjust my attitude and my training before then. I need to allow myself to just slow it down more, and I probably need to work better on consistent hydration. This morning I ran as slow as I could and dropped the distance by a mile, and felt much better than yesterday. My heartrate was substantially lower....thankfully.

Admittedly, it's hard to not get freaked out that I'm not as strong as I was two years ago. I have goals and I really REALLY want to achieve them. So, rather than continue this pity party, and just like while I was training for Boston, I need to focus on the things I'm good at and I know the training will fall back into place, particularly when we get a break in morning temps Labor Day weekend.

• I'm consistent. When I write a plan, I make it a priority. It doesn't mean I don't shift things around or tweak a run here and there, but I put in the miles.
• I have endurance. It felt like it was never going to come back after so much rest in the spring, but I can complete my long runs and keep upping my miles week after week. The endurance is there.
• I respect the distance. The marathon can't be faked. I never lose sight of this. If I want to achieve my goals, then I need to put in the work. And I do! Even when the weather makes me want to hurt someone.
• I know when to run easy and when to run hard, and I know that easy runs will pay off on race day. 
• I'm not afraid to hurt. I don't like it, but I know not to give up. So while the weather makes me whine, I will still get my butt out there and do my best and push through the pain. All the stupid crap that I've endured over the last 10 years has made me a fighter. 
• I pick some really cool races to run. I am SO EXCITED to go to Sacramento and race CIM in December. Picking new and fun races in other parts of the country is part of the run of running marathons. There are so many places to see and experience.

I'm in Week 4 of training for CIM. Race day is less than 16 weeks away. My build takes a big turn this weekend, when I'm running 14 miles on Sunday. Passing the half marathon distance in training definitely helps me shift my attitude and lights a fire in me to continue strong in training. I'm not anticipating the strongest of 14 milers, but I'll get the distance in and I won't overdo it like I did last weekend. I'll come back home, jump in the pool, and feel the accomplishment of another long run completed. The weather will still piss me off, but I can't control it and have to embrace it...somehow!

I also can't really discount how much outside stress can impact my body during training. My husband is traveling a ton right now...all over the world...and it coincides with the start of school. My kids are both in high school, at two different schools, and my son is DRIVING to school (yikes!). I'm handing it all on the home front, and trying not to get too caught up in all these big changes, but I'm admittedly very weary right now. I'm tired from the stress, I miss my husband, and I'm anxious about how school is going to go for both of them. I suppose it has caught up with me and when combined with the physical response to the weather....well, yeah, I'm a little beat up! It's TEMPORARY.....thank God! And it makes me circle back to my commitment to myself to just slow it down and focus more on taking better care of myself.

There's a light, and cooler temps, at the end of the tunnel and it's closer than I think.

Two High Schoolers?!? And a Social Media and Training update

Last night I got to unexpectedly see an old friend as she passed through Austin. She and I have been friends since our sons were babies back in 2002. I hadn't seen her in quite awhile, so it was such a nice surprise when she texted us and we were able to see her.

It made me think about just how many years it's been since we were both new moms, and how it seems so unreal that our babies are now almost adults. She was one of my best friends in the Bay Area before I moved to Texas and we spent a lot of time together. Life back then was just so very different when comparing it to now, with kids who are so much older and more independent and embarking on their senior year of high school, and when she and I are now in our mid 40s instead of freaking out over turning 35.

Look away for just a moment and BAM, you're almost empty nesters.

On another topic, with the school year almost starting up (my daughter starts high school on Thursday, and my son starts his charter school next Monday), I figured that after two months of no social media, I'll venture back into it, albeit reluctantly. I do miss my friends' postings of their lives, adventures, kids, etc. I do not at all miss the negativity and the politics. I absolutely LOATHE the politics. The myopic view that so many people display is just aggravating and immature. I shudder to think of what I'm going to see when I get back on.

But, alas, it will be done. Thankfully, I still do hold the power to remove what I don't want to see or deal with, and that just might mean a cleansing of the friends list. Sorry, not sorry, right?

I've spent the last two months focused on my family and getting things on an even keel and tuning out the noise, and I think I've been successful with that. I even chopped off all my hair. I feel like my kids are ready for school, are ready for the requirements this next year will have for them, and that my family is shifting into our next phase of life. I did it with minimal distractions, and that makes my two month silence totally worth it. I know that in the past, I have been open with the struggles we've had over the years, and while I do want to continue to be open, I also need to balance it with more privacy.

We embarked on another road trip last month and had a fantastic time with our family. My daughter spent extra time solo with her grandparents, and I think that was just what she needed to rejuvenate her soul. We had busy days, days where we played pool while listening to vinyl at my in-law's house (okay, so that was WAY COOL), and days where I spent too much time in Los Angeles traffic, plus Greg and I enjoyed several runs together (although, it was during a SoCal heat wave, while Austin enjoyed record low July temps, so that pretty much pissed me off). Add in some wine tasting and an arts festival, and I'd say we had a great time.

Speaking of running....thank God I have continued to overcome my latest setback and I'm consistently building my running volume as I prepare for marathon #16. The heat of the summer has not been kind to me and I'm not nearly as adapted to it as I was last year. Having to restart my running in June was just damn HARD. But I'm up to 11 miles in my long run and I know my cardiovascular strength is improving. I'm only running in the morning and won't be adding in any afternoon/evenings runs for awhile. It's so much better for me to start my day with exercise rather than think all day about an upcoming evening run. Most of my runs are solo and that's been pretty good for me. A lot of time for focus and reflection and being intentional with each particular run.

I'm currently in week 3 of a 19 week marathon plan, leading up to California International Marathon on December 8. I'm at 33 miles this week, and will slowly build up my volume, with a peak at around 60 miles and more room for stepback weeks. I was in great shape leading up to Boston, but I think I can further tweak my typical training to include a bit more rest before my hardest weeks. Each training cycle teaches me a bit more about what works for me, and I'm eager to see how this newest plan will translate on race day. Boston 2021? That's the goal!

Now cross your fingers I don't regret getting back onto social media.